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15 posts from December 2005

Dec 28 2005
Boy's First Time With Madonna Comments (0)

Boys-First-TimeDon't ask how I figured this out, but the kinda cute guy who was pulled onto the Roxy stage with Madonna (he and his "friend" were cool...the second pair who were pulled up were so not cool) at her already legendary gig there in October seems to have a porn past (or present). Check him out here, but do not check him out unless you're prepared to see gay porn, okay? I'm pretty good with, uh, faces, but even if I weren't, I'm pretty much 100% with shirts. Dude, nice performance, but if you were hoping to remain anonymous, vary the wardrobe a bit. If you want to read "Danny"'s firsthand account of his time next to Madge (a nickname I can not embrace with whole heart), read about it at Madonnalicious.


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Dec 27 2005
Photoshop If He's Dropped Comments (0)

Hilary Duff and Ryan Seacrest are co-hosting Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. There's word Dick 104069_3upr1_ful_3himself will appear, but this grotesquely unbelievable Photoshop creation doesn't make me feel too optimistic about how he will look or that he will even show up. (Again, yes it's a stretch to consider this gay-related, but one of the three stars is probably gay and Mr. Clark's first name is Dick...)

 
 
Dec 22 2005
Missing Brew Comments (0)

I find it odd that Hennessy is using an image of Marvin Gaye, well known for his substance-abuse issues before his Marvinshocking murder at the hands of his father, as their poster boy. The tag line is "NEVER BLEND IN." Marvin Gaye definitely never faded into the woodwork during his lifetime, and he certainly had admirable talent. But it seems from all reports that he was not at his best when he was hitting the bottle. What's his estate thinking? Can Smith & Wesson be far behind? (I know...not much of a gay connection. But his real last name was Gay...)

 
 
Dec 21 2005
The John Is Overflowing Comments (0)

Elton John married his longtime...what? partner? I doubt it...David Furnish this week. Gay marriage is great, rah-rah-rah, don't get me wrong. But the man is a bald spot on the scalp of the gay community. He's insufferable, as demanding and shameless (and not as cute and without as much potential) as a newborn baby 27eltonjohndavidand will do literally anything for attention. His parties are nothing but big occasions to show off his tackiness and his "hen party" was more of the same, his excuse to throw the biggest, poshest, most celebrity-filled ceremony possible just for the sake of being #1. In the past, he's crossed the picket lines to embrace Eminem (almost seeming to feel he was speaking on behalf of the gay community, negating all concerns about the "genius" rapper's juvenile, violently anti-gay and misogynistic lyrics) and made a fortune with his sickening "tribute" to his late "friend" Princess Diana, "Candle In the Wind." Yes, the song was for charity, but the B-side was from his then-current CD and the ensuing exposure rejuvenated his dead-as-Diana career. Now, he's trashed Madonna for literally the fifth (at least) time in recent memory as "a miserable cow" for not showing up at said hen party, most likely because even though he hates her guts he knew that having her there would make it as starry an occasion as possible. Why on earth would Madonna attend his anything? He went out of his way to trash her "Die Another Day" song as the worst Bond theme ever, he tore her apart at an awards ceremony as a lip-syncher, he made fun of her from his cheesy Vegas gig by saying she couldn't handle singing live in that venue, he made merciless fun of her devotion to Kabbalah...the only positive thing he has said of Madonna this decade is that she was "absolutely spot on" in keeping all images from her wedding from public view...something Elton didn't do himself. He said David asked Madonna three times to appear at and sing at his party, implying David is more a Madonna fan than Elton is. Perhaps he is torturing his infinitely better half when he publilcly throttles Madonna, maybe he is bitterly jealous of gay icons with more going on than he, maybe he abhors her artistically or maybe she was a cunt to him and he genuinely dislikes her as a person. But regardless of his undeniable (if somewhat past its expiration date) talent, Elton John is a boorish pig with major personal issues. I wish we could swap him for, oh, how about Robbie Williams? David, you have earned every shilling.

 
 
I'm Just Saying... Comments (0)

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Dec 18 2005
Metrosexual (Gingerly) Jumps the Shark Comments (0)

Amazon lists "metrosexual" as a category of gift recipients, mixed in with "Dad," "Mom," "Pet" and "Business Associate." Clutch the pearls.

 
 
Dec 12 2005
Transamerica Comments (1)

I'm lucky enough to be invited to lots of advance screenings. I don't write about many of these films because they tend to be of the Herbie, Fully Loaded variety due to my day job or I skip them altogether, deciding I can't spare the two hours. But one film I recently saw that I couldn't help writing about was Transamerica. This review and also reviews I've written of other films with gay content (including Parting Glances, Rock Hudson's Home Movies, I Think I Do and more recently I'm Going To Tell You A Secret and Rent) can be found at Mark Adnum's Outrate.net. (Note that the site also does gay-porn reviews so you'll be hit with explicit pop-ups pretty hot 'n' heavy.)

Transamerica (The Weinstein Co./IFC Films)
Written & directed by Duncan Tucker

For some time now, Bree (Felicity Huffman)—né Stanley Osbourne—has relied on more than just the kindness of strangers—she’s relied on their tacit acceptance of her as a woman despite telltale signs (an Adam’s apple, falsies, a still somewhat clumsy handle on feminine gestures) that Bree is physically still more he than she.

Even in Los Angeles, Bree is the type of person to draw double-takes. Picture_5_1Already living her life as a woman, she’s one recommendation away from being greenlighted for gender-reassignment surgery. But she’s tossed a curveball when told that a heterosexual union 17 years earlier resulted in the birth of a son, Toby (Kevin Zegers), who is currently in a juvenile detention center in Manhattan. Nothing like finding out you have a long lost hoodlum. Unless it’s finding out your long lost father is desperately seeking to swap penis for vagina.

Thanks to a perhaps too thorough shrink (Elizabeth Pena)—who won’t sign off on the surgery for Bree until Picture_6Stanley has come to terms with this surprise son—a flight to New York is in order, followed by a road trip that is as full of unpleasant moments as it is pleasant ones, and which makes for one of 2005’s most unique and touching comic films.

Casting the part of Bree must have been a challenge for writer/director Duncan Tucker. Do you pick a man in drag? A woman in touch with her masculine side? A transsexual? In the end, he tapped Felicity Huffman, she of the current hit U.S. TV show Desperate Housewives, and the decisionPicture_7 pays off handsomely. Though it is fellow Housewife Nicollette Sheridan who has battled criticism for looking “transgendered-esque,” Huffman has the perfect features to play this part—her alarming lack of body fat gifts her with a unisex look and her face has a surgical quality that renders her perfectly believable as a person born in the wrong body who’s attempting to use science to right that wrong. Huffman enhances her physical appropriateness for the part by adapting a painful-sounding but painfully perfect voice, one that suggests a hormone-induced journey from male to female. Her mannerisms are spot-on. Huffman easily passes as a transsexual, and making it look so easy will make her hard to overlook at Oscar time.

When Bree meets her son for the first time, Picture_8as much as she longs to tell him the truth about herself and therefore get her surgery, she chickens out, instead posing as a religious missionary intent on saving his soul. She winds up driving himPicture_16 (in a hastily purchased car) cross country. Her plan is to drive through their shared hometown in Kentucky, the place where both were born but in which they’ve never co-existed, thanks to their separate instinctual flights from the backwoods.

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Dec 09 2005
Making Mountain Into A Molehill Comments (0)

Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain opens today, and despite some pretty juvenile comments from stars Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal Broke_1regarding the rigors of being gay for pay, I'm sufficiently excited. The brilliant blog Towleroad has me heading to the box office at full gallop. I love Ang Lee's films (minus, of course, his abysmal The Hulk) and this one seems pre-ordained to please. If I end up not liking it, it'll be a disappointment and a surprise. One thing that caught my eye was that amid the phenomenal reviews (all of which seem to use the word Oscar at least once), tabloids Us Broke2Weekly and Life & Style both deemd it only worthy of 2.5 out of 4 stars, calling it "pretentious" and saying it never really sucks you in (something that can't be said of Jake's character's...oh, never mind). Sometimes, it's like magazines really do have the I.Q.s that their editors believe their readers have. Or maybe their film reviewers are just conditioned to be shallow. Or maybe they resent not being able to ask Heath and Jake what's in their purse. I don't know how the movie ends, but I hope neither of them breaks a leg and has to be put down. Check this blog for updates and info.

 
 
Dec 07 2005
Mariah's Scary Comments (0)

Mariah Carey is reportedly being considered for a role on Desperate Housewives. I'd like to suggest The World's Biggest Loser instead. Catty? Yes. And unnecessary. Just like Mariah.

 
 
Petty Issues Comments (0)

When did Tom Petty turn into Gary Busey meets Roy Orbison? ToolI was shocked that he was linked to that you-should-pardon-the-expression fukakta (I challenge you to spell it correctly) $10 million dollar bat mitzvah last week, but seeing that he isn't above blind vanity, blind greed seems more in character than I thought.