BBC's history of Classic Singles focused on Donna Summer's Giorgio Moroder masterpiece "I Feel Love" (download program here) in a very compelling half-hour episode. Moroder speaks of the "huge synthesizer" he used on this seminal, sexual, sensual synth track. He also speaks of Madonna's sound-alike "Future Lovers," saying:

"I think the sound of 'I Feel Love' inspired a lot of records. Lately even Madonna with the song 'Future Lovers' took quite a nice little bit out of the low bassline and she made a great song out of it...she said it in an interview that she took some ideas from me and from ABBA or from The Bee Gees—so she admits it. She didn't use the track in itself, but except one note the bassline was the same...I think it was the ultimate—or let's say first—all-electronic song. I may have said years and years ago that this was just a good disco song. But now, listen (sic) again, and listening to Madonna's take and listening to other recordings, I think it was not only a good song but it was something of a piece of art, something which definitely changed a little bit the feel of electronic dance music."

Agreed. Add to the mix that Classic Singles is narrated by Alison Goldfrapp, an artist inspired by Madonna who Madonna in turn was inspired by, and you can cue the 15-minute orgasm. (Thanks to Eugen!)

Madonna's tour dates (all but a few cities) will be announced at 9:00 a.m. this Monday, April 3rd. If you believe some fans with camera phones, it appears tickets for New York will go on sale April 10th and for L.A. will go on sale April 9th, that she's playing Madison Square Garden June 28th and June 29th and that the tour is simply The Confessions Tour. Or. Could all be a hoax. (Via MadonnaTribe.) UPDATE: The official tour poster will be an image from KoKo's. The Italian date (at the gi-normous Olympic Stadium) will be August 7th. UPDATE: --> The posters are real and are up at 10th Avenue and 23rd Street in Manhattan. See more photos after the jump. Confessions Tour and www.confessionstour.com (the site is under construction!) are the most interesting new confirmations. UPDATE: Madonna will not stop in "the fascist state of Toronto" on her Confessions Tour. Montreal is the only Canadian stop. (And the quote is from Truth Or Dare, so don't panic—she still loves Toronto.) More updates soon, hopefully. UPDATE: Madonna's official image for the Confessions Tour is a black-and-white fan photo (or at least a photo taken of her amongst her fahhhhns) from KoKo's, as predicted earlier. Check it out on this notice for the Paris dates she's playing, August 27 et (I mean and) August 28. Bon! UPDATE: Confessionstour.com is still under construction, but it's registered to "Boy Toy Inc. ATTN: CONFESSIONSTOUR.COM, c/o Network Solutions, P.O. Box 447, Herndon, VA 20172-0447." I'm betting it goes live Monday at 9:00 a.m. to coincide with the tour announcement. UPDATE: If you go here, you can see that Madonna might be planning a triptych of runways that extend into the (presumably apopletic) audience for her Confessions Tour. Confessions on a catwalk? Looks like she will be at American Airlines Arena in Miami, the Wachovia Center in Philly and the HP Pavillion in San Jose, according to MadonnaTribe UPDATE: Madonna will be touring Japan, but is skipping Australia, much to the chagrin of fans there, who have only ever seen her perform live during The Girlie Show. But Israel makes the cut. UPDATE: More of an explanation of why Madonna is skipping Toronto—or any particular market—with her Confessions Tour. THE ULTIMATE UPDATE: YOU MUST CLICK HERE! Here is, for me, the FINAL UPDATE!

Am I just dirty or what the hell are they teaching in girl scouts these days?

I don't even know what this headline is about and I don't care, but I'm subscribing to this Seattle paper anyway. Even if it's a Web site and not a paper.

The Plays and Films Control Board of the Bahamas has banned Brokeback Mountain on the grounds that "it shows extreme homosexuality, nudity and profanity, and we feel that it has no value for the Bahamian public." That's according to a liaison officer name of Chavasse Turnquest-Liriano (not made up). What is extreme homosexuality? Is it like extreme sports? Is it anal sex while bouncing around on a cord from a suspension bridge? Most of the Google hits for this esteemed censorship board are involving even more radically religious Bahamians complaining about the body's excessively lenient ratings system compared to the MPAA's. This island nation is all wet. It's the same place that saw protests over the existence of the lesbian Olivia Cruises. Jesus, how long has the Bahamas even been Christian anyway? Oh, yeah—ever since the native Lucayans were "discovered" by Columbus and wiped out by slavery and disease, then replaced by similarly enslaved Africans who had been "discovered" and forced into Christianity. Ah, the zeal of the new convert.

DrownedMadonna hits back against The Sun's Madonna-tour set list spoiler with what they claim is the actual set list: "Future Lovers," "Get Together," "Like A Virgin," "Jump," "Live To Tell" (wow!), "Forbidden Love," "Isaac," "Sorry," "Like It Or Not," "Sorry (Remix)" (sounds like costume-change time), "I Love New York," "Let It Will Be," "Ray Of Light," "Drowned World/Substitute for Love," "Paradise (Not For Me)," "Music," "Everybody," "Deeper and Deeper," "Lucky Star" (wow!) and "Hung Up." I have to say this arrangement sounds more real than The Sun's, with new songs 'n' shit. I'm kind of over it by now—I just want the actual tour dates to be announced so I can figure out how to get my tickets and breathe a sigh of relief. (For those keeping score, this new set list brings in "Live To Tell" and "Lucky Star" but bumps "Borderline.)

I feel terrible for the Mission Impossible 3 stunt man who was so severely burned that he's suing the producers for millions. One part of his lawsuit is that the gasoline fireball that torched him cost him and his wife marital relations. It's going to be a mission impossible getting Tom Cruise to empathize with that one.

Victoria Newton has reported on a set list for Madonna's still untitled Confessions On A Dance Floor tour that includes songs like "Get Together" (enjoy the mix) and "Erotica" (ditto...thanks, Joshua). Now I've received a heads-up regarding the two new songs Madonna may or may not be performing in concert—"History" and "Keep The Trance." While "KTT" remains a mystery, not so with "History" (TItle Code: 381346936, Writers: CICCONE MADONNA L and PRICE STUART DAVID), which along with songs titled "Triggering" (Title Code: 502697032, Writers: AHMADZAI MIRWAIS and CICCONE MADONNA L), "The Process" (Title Code: 501257456, Writers: CICCONE MADONNA L and PRICE STUART DAVID), "Da Prayer" (Title Code: 340998318, Writers: AHMADZAI MIRWAIS, BANGALTER THOMAS, CICCONE MADONNA L and GUY MANUEL DE HOMEM CHRISTO) and—get ready—"Cook and Fuck" (Title Code: 330723623, Writers: BEARDEN MICHAEL DUANE and CICCONE MADONNA L), is listed on ASCAP. Thanks to AbsoluteMadonna for the clues. It appears that "Cook and Fuck" has been on ASCAP since 2001, and that it was a music-only composition between Madonna and one of her touring campadres related to David Leterman's show. I think it's time for Madonna to visit Letterman to prove she can hum a few bars of "Cook and Fuck." Regardless, Madonna's next tour promises to be a full-on wedding of classic and neo-classic, with something old (Madonna), something new (Madonna), something borrowed (Madonna) and something blue (Madonna).

Sure, it's no good when 16-year-olds are naked on the Internet, but it seems harsh to charge two girls aged 19 and 16 with making and distributing child pornography for posting pictures of themselves in a sexual act on the Internet. If nothing else, sites like MySpace and Xanga should be held more accountable for blithely allowing anything at all to be posted and to stay posted until people complain (knowing some would not report anything for fear of being pinpointed as having seen it). It's a free for all there, but locking up two teens isn't going to solve anything. Will they be listed on the sex-offender registry? Tagged as possible molesters...of themselves? This boy did something similar, albeit malevolently. It seems to be a perversion—so to speak—of what the law was intended to do.

If a country (an entire continent, even) made up of the descendants of hardened criminals can say "We do!" to gay marriage, why can't a country made up of the descendants of religious fanatics? Oh, wait. Never mind.