No whey!!!

It's not that Ryan Reynolds was too good for Alanis Morissette, it's just that he's too good not to be passed around so everyone gets, you know, a shot. He's the April 2007 cover of the British Edition of Men's Health, and if this doesn't cause men to think thrice about their team, nothing will. It's not a man-crush, guys, it's straight up homosexuality.

Whey!

Inside, his feature is exactly two-thirds of one page. It's a little diagram with helpful hints on losing weight. Wow, hard to care about because as whenever I stare at him I always wind up with a bag of mini-donuts in my lap. Ryan wants us to eat sensibly and often to stay fit. "Your body doesn't store fat if you're feeding all the time," he says. Hmmm. Your testicles don't store semen if you're ejaculating all the time, either. His final bit of advice for staying lean and building muscle is to use "creatine, L-glutamine, conjucated linoleic acid (CLA, whey, and a multivitamin." It's like he's the male Kelly LeBrock from Weird Science, but if that's what he did to look like that, make whey.