As you may know, Kathy Griffin is playing NYC again, a city she sarcastically calls "open and giving" before asking New Yorkers, "Have you guys met you?"
Unable to resist the urge, we got last-minute TKTS tickets (50% off) to her show—Kathy Griffin Wants a Tony—last night. As always, she's a lot of fun, but as I've noted the last couple of times I've seen her, I wish she'd take a little more time to craft jokes because her shoot-from-the-hip style can wear a little thin.
Her worst habit is promising to tell us about some juicy story while in the middle of one or two other juicy stories. It becomes a sort of gossipy, comedic Inception—stories within stories within stories—leaving me a bit tense that she'll forget to go back. Indeed, she promised us an amazing Uma Thurman story that would make us shit our pants, but it failed to materialize.
Still, for die-hard Katheters (I prefer Katheists), she's always got plenty of belly-laughs to hand out and she had lots of amusing riffs on her fish-out-of-water status in a Broadway setting. There is no set, it's just "my camel-toe, a panty-liner and a stool." She can't do previews because "too much shit happened five seconds ago," such as Lindsay Lohan's "self-evacuation" from her Venice Beach apartment due to the tsunami, moving to "higher ground—I'm not kidding—the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills."
The almost alarmingly thin shit-slinger also gleefully requested that we take photos during the show in defiance of Broadway's traditional rules, and encouraged us to leave our sets to use the bathroom if we needed to—"This is your time!" Loved that.
Oddly, when she name-checked Celebrity Apprentice, she got a big cheer—are the gays not paying attention to Donald Trump's aggressively anti-gay posturing?
Considering the stars she rips apart, it's interesting which ones are sacred cows. She adores Fergie, Katy Perry is briefly referred to as great and she seemed to presume her gay audience would riot if she razzed Lady GaGa (far from it!), leading to a funny joke that she won't even walk past a Target and would do all her shopping in a vegetable garden.
She's at her best when talking about celebrities with whom she is genuinely obsessed and by whom she is genuinely repulsed, simultaneously. Her Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown (calling out his "gunt" was a side-splitter), Tatum & Ryan O'Neal (to whom the post's title applies) and Oprah Winfrey schtick vastly outshines the half-hearted stuff she unspools on Jersey Shore or Charlie Sheen.
At show's end, Griffin pranced offstage and was almost immediately available, briefly, outside, where she was besieged by a hundred or so fans. She signed a couple dozen autographs before being whisked—magic hair an orange blur—into a car by Tiffany.
"When I was a kid I would get jacked at lunch and those nuns would just smoke and watch."
ON HER SHOW'S STANDING-ROOM-ONLY SEATS
"The seats are cheaper and they're awesome. Back in the day, I saw Angels in America the first time and I fuckin' stood there for four hours until everybody in the whole play dropped dead." [Nervous laughter] "I'm just takin' your temperature...I'm just takin' your temperature. So evil."
ON HER CAMEL-TOE
"Hey, I brought my camel-toe! I brought my camel-toe! Take a picture. I didn't know if I should check it or take it on the plane so I thought, 'Fuck it, I'll bring it.' I put a saddle on it and rode it into town."
ON NANCY GRACE
"You know Nancy Grace, from Headline News with the 17 hairs she teases up? She finds missing people if their names are Haley or Kaley?"
ON JULIANNE MOORE PLAYING SARAH PALIN IN GAME CHANGE
"I don't think Julianne Moore does a movie and fuckin' quits halfway through."
ON PALIN ASKING GRIFFIN TO PAY FOR HER KID'S BRACES
"She made fucking $12 million bucks [after quitting the governorship], but then I found out that in Wasilla, braces cost $13 million."