I only have a few pictures on hand of me in Halloween costumes. I'm sure my mother has more, but I need to get under her bed and organize her photos (a hard thing to do when I'm there so rarely and for such a short time). Above, you're not seeing things—that's me as a heterosexual crossdresser woman in fourth grade, 1978. Behind me is my buddy Stephanie, who was my "crush"/friend (and who is now as gay as I am, in reverse). P.S. Michigan had the coolest bicentennial plates!

Below is me as a werewolf in 1981, exactly 30 years ago. I was proud (and remain proud) of my ability to curl the corners of my nose animalistically:

Finally, the last time I think I ever dressed up for Halloween was in or just after college, around 1991. I went as Theda Bara:

The pits make it! (And I had her two-hours-glass figure.)

Other costumes I recall include Scooby-Doo, maybe Underdog, maybe Superman, a hobo (Vaseline on the face, coffee grounds on the Vaseline) and Groucho Marx (modified hobo).

The real Theda

It being Halloween, Elvira and Zacherley the Cool Ghoul were extra-special guests

So I made it to yet another Chiller Theatre (first here, second here)—but this time, I very nearly never made it back!

I trekked out to Parsippany, New Jersey, via the train, arriving early, before even the early-bird entry. The guys on the shuttle to the Parsippany Hilton were hardcore horror buffs and unapologetic nerds, a pair of them guffawing the entire way about the "jiggaboo" line from Police Academy (1984). (They liked that the late Bubba Smith had overturned a car in response to the racist comment, and kept repeating the line and the events of that scene over and over until we arrived at the hotel. You had to be there—be glad you weren't.)

It was snowing when we arrived, but just barely. <---This is foreshadowing.

Happy Halloween!

My guardian angel Simon helped usher me in and was an invaluable resource. He was celebrating his tenth year with Chiller, and I hope my pestering won't keep him from an eleventh. He told me Louise Fletcher, Elvira and Pam Grier had been in hot demand the night before by way of a heads-up. I wasn't too worried as I had only a dozen or so names to "get" this time; I arrived as usual armed with unique photos for them to sign.

This shot of Michael was on the light side

After breakfast in the hotel's eatery (next to Martin Landau, who I'd met at The Hollywood Show and who I must say looked much fuller and healthier), I plunged right into the main room, which held most of the event's biggest attractions. Right off the bat, I went for the only heartthrob of the show (to me), still-sexy, 53-year-old Michael Paré.

Ludovic Obraniak is a soccer player, and he's definitely got a way with the balls.

Thank God they don't let gays get married in more places—it fucks with the long tradition of straights getting married 100% for money and then divorcing 72 days later.

Winona Ryder turned 40 recently, and Nathan's got the scoop on her, well, everything here. Only 40 and she's already played the Susan Hayward Valley of the Dolls role in Black Swan. (Hayward was a mere 10 years older in VOTD, BTW.)

Somehow, I missed that Rufus Wainwright and Sean Lennon performed "Material Girl" at the Occupy Wall Street protest a week ago. (Sean returning this favor?) Video after the jump.

Joan Rivers was wrong (and shamefully blindered, even if she was attempting to be funny) when she claimed no gay men are there.

Walked past Christopher J. Hanke the dazzlingly talented co-star of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying the other day; didn't realize it was him until I'd already clicked him for "Guydar." Great-looking guy. Next time, I should say hi and compliment him; loved that show and loved him in it.

Sandhil Ramamurthy of TV's Covert Affairs is rather overt in these two shirtless shots for People (November 7, 2011)...

Or rather, Hallowe'en. In grade school I got very good at doing the "how many words can you find within this word" game, and "Hallowe'en" ("hall," "owe," "wean," "new," "loan," etc.) or other holidays were always being given to us. "Thanksgiving" was a piece of cake.

A big Chiller Theatre post is coming—I got stranded by the snowfall in Jersey, too—but since it could take forever, here's a Halloween-friendly teaser of me with none other than Elvira:

More after the jump...