The Golden Globes were, as usual, far more entertaining than the Oscars. I also had no idea they are a humanitarian org. I thought they were just starfuckers (with accents) like me!
It's hard to take the likes of Kelly Osbourne seriously in the realm of fashion of beauty, but Madonna looked amazing—loved the dress and the looser hair. Her shots with Ryan Seacrest were a bit puffier than lately but nonetheless, she remains relaxed and seems genuinely thrilled to be promoting her movie.
Why did fucking Nicole Richie name-check her hairstylist? Can't we leave anything to the imagination?
When the show began, I had to gasp at seeing Madonna and Meryl Streep at the same table. It makes perfect (Weinstein) sense, yet seeing the two living legends (and former feuders) seated together was a big thrill.
Ricky Gervais—who I love—was very funny in his intro. Even funnier was watching the petrified audience cautiously waiting for the blade to drop. The joke about Jodie Foster's Beaver, which he'd never seen and which "a lot of others had never seen," was daring; they cut away rather than linger on Jodie's reaction. She was a great sport.
Poor Gerald Butler...shaking with nerves and as off with his timing as he was on with his beauty. Kudos for rewarding Christopher Plummer for supporting actor! Beginners is a terrific movie and he deserves it for his performance as well as for his career.
Laura Dern is not funnier or better than Amy Poehler, let alone the others in the category of actress in a comedy. They, like the Emmys, always go with people known for their movies in TV categories. Cool seeing Laura brought her mommy Dianne Ladd, who looks the same after all these years.
Rob Lowe's hair is like Priscilla Presley's face: It was perfect for an unnaturally long time, then it just WENT. He and the always gorgeous Julianne Moore handed the trophy to Downton Abbey, which I promise to watch. Poor Elizabeth McGovern taking a spill.
Kate Winslet certainly deserved to win for Mildred Pierce, which I feel was not appreciated as much as it should have been. It's hard remaking perfection, but I think they succeeded by rethinking it from the ground up. She looked spectacular.
When Midnight in Paris was introduced, I again had to think: Really? Honestly? It was a pleasant flick but everyone was playing dress-up and Rachel McAdams...her character was a horror. It wasn't believable at all, the way she and her family interacted with Owen's character. Best movie nominee? Not if it had been directed by Garry Marshall.
Jake Gyllenhaal was looking unquittable, as usual while introducing My Week with Marilyn, an adorable movie I loved.
I loved Gervais telling the crowd they'd done worse than defecating into a sink (like Melissa McCarthy) to make it in showbiz. Poor McCarthy looked atrocious. I didn't get the Adele approach at all. Nor was I thrilled to see awful hack win for Boss. I've never even heard of it. I guess that and the Homeland win, however, shows how the Globes are much quicker to react to new stuff (first to give an award to something) than the Emmys.
Elton John always trashes Madonna (on the carpet, he said "Madonna hasn't got a fucking chance!" regarding her song "Masterpiece" winning a Globe, to which Madonna later replied, "Damn him! May the best man win.") The best man won for score—The Artist was more dependent on its excellent music than any other film this year.
But the best man won for song, too—Madonna kicked ass and collected her second
Golden Globe. She looked amazing, much better (facially) than under Ryan Seacrest's lights. She was really sweet and smart, too, working her movie seamlessly into the comments about her song. Whoever was deciding where to focus deserves an Emmy next year—Julianne Moore (Body of Evidence), Antonio Banderas (Evita), the gracious losers and then...Elton John! FUCK YOU, Elton John. Twice.
People immediately joked about Madonna sounding British on Twitter. Uh...no. She didn't she has had the long As for a while but she didn't have a British accent. Whatever, people are very comforted by saying things they've heard other people observe a thousand times before them, whether it's positive ("Madonna—she's a great businesswoman!") or negative (as one having a too-posh accent is, apparently).
Love that Michelle Williams won for My Week with Marilyn! I want her to win the Oscar, though to be fair I have not seen Meryl Streep or Glenn Close yet.
Don't like Sarah Michelle Gellar and her outfit was really odd, an almost tie-dyed sarong thing. Peter Dinklage won over Guy Pearce in Mildred Pierce, but it's okay, he's always really terrific.
Newsflash: Channing Tatum is hot again.
Midnight in Paris won for original screenplay...still don't get it.
Adorable duet by Mr. and Mrs. Felicity Huffman before handing the award to Jessica Lange for American Horror Story, a show I promise to catch up on and actually watch. God, they love her—five Golden Globes. (Including King Kong...the Dino DeLaurentiis one! Sad.)
Madonna looked lovely presenting for best foreign film and again Elton John had a sour-ass face when Gervais joked that she, not he, was the Queen of Pop. She was able to hand the award to the widely expected winner, A Separation. Her attempt at comedy was a bit stilted but it was a damn good line they gave her, shame. The fact that she knows it's "ee-rahn" and not "eye-ran" will, undoubtedly, lead to a bunch of jokes about her posh accent.
Tina Fey and Jane Lynch were finally put together on a stage and asked to joke about penises after all these years. But seriously—Matt LeBlanc??? And before you say he's amazeballs on Episodes, let me remind you he was nominated in the past for...Joey.
I'm surprised Octavia Spencer is winning for The Help. When I first saw it, I felt she was a shoo-in. But then it seemed like...how can they not reward Jessica Chastain, who was in six movies and was supposedly brilliant in, like, eight of them? Good for her, though. She was indisputably great.
I blew caffeine-free Diet Coke out of my nose when Sidney Poitier compared hacktor Morgan Freeman to Brando and Olivier. Helen Mirren was funny as a follow-up, pretending to be pissed that she's only been in one Freeman flick.
Brilliant having Robert Downey Jr. presenting The Artist (remember, Chaplin?).
Unfortunately, Martin Scorsese was awarded best director for Hugo. I guess that means I really should see this film I have zero interest in seeing. He was presented the award by Megan Fox's mom, Megan Fox.
For best series, Modern Family prevailed again, which was nice as the Globes might've been expected to rush to reward New Girl. I will say that as much as I enjoy Modern Family, it's become less a fave this year with its schmaltzy endings every week.
Michelle Pfeiffer looks flawless as always. When she begins to look her age, I'll probably be collecting Social Security. She presented War Horse, which I'm not interested in seeing, live or on film. Mark Wahlberg seemed annoyed to be presenting best actor for comedy, but no one should be annoyed that Jean Dujardin for The Artist—he was fabulous. A classic performance.
Loved Gervais riffing on Colin Firth being a racist kitten-puncher. Firth came back with a great barb about Ricky being Hollywood's punishment for its sins. He handed the award for best actress to Meryl Streep; there was no way Viola Davis would trump a Thatcher performance, but don't count anyone out for that Oscar just yet. Meryl, as always, got and deserved a standing ovation (haven't seen and won't see the movie, but she's MERYL STREEP!). Heinous dress but again, another terrific speech. She's so much fun to listen to and watch. Hilarious when everyone handed up her reading glasses (which never made it).
Jane Fonda. Madonna wishes she's look that good at Jane's age—too late! Seriously, almost no one looks as hot as Jane at her age. (There are a few.) Who would have ever thought of all her peers she'd age the most gracefully? Love that The Artist won!
Natalie Portman, a poster child for never putting family first now that she's blown her chance at another award this year, presented for best actor in a drama, handing the trophy to George Clooney for The Descendants. That movie is "okay" but wildly overrated, and while I think he was good in it, Brad Pitt was at least as good in Moneyball and Michael Fassbender was leagues ahead of him in Shame.
And finally, The Descendants charmed the Hollywood Foreign Press overall, taking the ultimate prize. Shrugs. It's not really a film I will remember, but it was well done. Just...I am not sure why it's so beloved.