97 posts categorized "AUTOGRAPHS"

Dec 05 2014
Need To Know: Here's LOOKING At You + I Did Not Have Sex With That Teenager + Gay-American Apparel + God Closes A Whore So He Can Open A Window + MORE! Comments (0)

LookingLooking good...

*widget boy cultureSeason 2 of Looking is almost here!

*widget boy cultureHRC co-founder Terry Bean “absolutely did not have sex with a minor.”

End AIDS? *widget boy cultureKill all the gays.

*widget boy cultureBenedict Cumberbatch will star in Doctor Strange.

*widget boy cultureFlamboyant-and-proud Brendan models for American Apparel.

*widget boy cultureDavid Sedaris's inscription to The Bloggess is priceless:

David-SedarisBook of David

*widget boy cultureIn the wake of the Eric Garner verdict, how NY grand juries work.

*widget boy cultureThey don't fly planes into buildings...yet.

*widget boy cultureGay marriages begin January 5, 2015, in Florida.

*widget boy cultureMiley's disco pasties.

*widget boy culturePOSITIVE Peter Pan Live! review. NEGATIVE one. (What did you think?)

Lyursbzr5afb0rty0gqmBoy, oh, boy!

 
Dec 04 2014
John Hancock-Tease: Richard Simmons Comments (0)

Autograph-Richard-Simmons

I was a very fat kid. Like, I was a kid and a half. By first grade, I was the fattest kid in my class, a 75-pounder.

Sometime during grade school, I became fixated on Richard Simmons. I liked that he was such a screaming homo (for your reference, Richard Simmons to this DAY is not officially out) and I embraced his 1980s silliness. Plus, I thought if I danced around to my little black-and-white TV while he bounced around inside of it, I might get skinny.

At some point, I wrote him of my progress, and would you believe he wrote back? I didn't believe it myself, which is why I licked my finger and smeared his autograph, just to make sure it was real.

 
Need To Know: You Got Robbed + IMITATION Of Gay Life + Quarantine Angel + The House Of Madonna + MORE! Comments (0)

ShirtlessThe WOOF! is on fire...

*widget boy cultureThere's more where the above came from right here. Nudes here.

*widget boy cultureRob Gronkowski gets naked.

*widget boy cultureWhy LGBT people have always had to “rediscover” our heroes.

*widget boy cultureDr. Nancy Snyderman defiantly sorry for breaking Ebola quarantine.

*widget boy cultureMcCartney more popular than Jesus, Madonna richer than McCartney.

*widget boy cultureOlivia Newton-John sold her house to Madonna & Sean Penn.

*widget boy cultureJesse Sarvinski won't be letting you get away: 

*widget boy cultureWhoa, check out Barbie's box!

*widget boy cultureDoes Michael Sam think he's not in the NFL because he's gay?

*widget boy cultureOlympic legend John Carlos criticizes Charles Barkley's “scumbags” comments.

*widget boy cultureElton John defends his ongoing friendship with Rush Limbaugh.

*widget boy cultureJeremy Parisi is gonna make you sweat till you bleed.

Jeremy-ParisiSweaty or not, here I come!

 
Dec 02 2014
John Hancock-Tease: Liza Minnelli Comments (0)

Autograph-Liza-Minnelli

Working for a literary agent who had once repped Vincente Minnelli, I had easy access to his widow's address. With absolutely no concept of the bad blood between her and her step-daughter Liza, I wrote Liza Minnelli a Valentine's Day card around the time of Results, which to this day is among my Top 10 favorite albums.

She replied, returning to me several pages from a fashion magazine and the above B&W hand-out shot dutifully signed.

I'm going to go with the story that she was my Valentine that year.

 
Nov 29 2014
Reynolds Rap Comments (0)

Burt-Reynolds-auction-2

Burt Reynolds is broke. To satisfy over a million dollars in mortgage payments, he's auctioning off what appears to be his life's collection of memorabilia, which includes priceless stuff like his Golden Globe and People's Choice Awards, as well as cringeworthy fan art.

Burt-Reynolds-auction-1

The oddest thing I saw was this painting of Madonna. Why he has it, I can't begin to guess, but she sure would've been a fun addition to Cannonball Run (1981).

Madonna

 
Nov 27 2014
John Hancock-Tease: Oprah Winfrey Comments (0)

Autograph-Oprah-Winfrey

When I was working for a literary agent, my boss was the coolest chick ever, a female power bottom who was channeling all of her sexual energy into making me organize the files.

But she had a wicked sense of humor, too, and we made a dangerous amount of mischief, sometimes in the mail. When Oprah Winfrey lost every ounce of fat from her body (remember how stick-think she was?), Sandra thought it would be hilarious to write her and ask for her fat clothes.

The above letter is the actual response we received...we were not the only panhandling fatties!

 
Nov 20 2014
John Hancock-Tease: Debbie Harry Comments (0)

Autograph-Debbie-Harry copy

I was obsessed with Debbie Harry because my older cousin had been into Blondie, so I felt this was one easy way to be cool. Of course, solo Debbie was very uncool; she couldn't even buy a Top 40 hit. But it was too late, I'd bought all of Blondie's albums and was drinking up Debbie's first two solo record, so was dying to hear her follow-up.

I wrote a fan letter to...somewhere. I don't know. I probably found an address in a British teen mag, the only place you'd find a 40-year-old popstar's address pre-Internet. Months later, a gorgeous postcard arrived with a fab autograph on it, urging me (on the back) to listen for a new album in 1989, which turned out to be Def, Dumb & Blonde.

I was livid that the USPS had stamped all over the autograph and picture, but I was also dying that the Greta Garbo of pop was re-emerging soon. I couldn't have even imagined then that Blondie would reunite and embark on tours so often I could afford to skip some of them, and that I would eventually meet her a few times. If the postcard had said that, I might have dropped out of college.

 
Nov 17 2014
John Hancock-Tease: Marky Mark Comments (0)

Autograph-Mark-Wahlberg

I first heard Marky Marky and the Funky Bunch in Chicago's famed Gramaphone record store, one of whose employees had inexplicably once scissored me like we were lesbians, which was a sexual maneuver for men that never seemed to be effective for anything except transmitting rectal warts, perhaps.

I loved the song. It was stupid-good, and good-stupid.

The singer was my type, was everyone's type. So I bought a bunch of pictures of him whenever I could.

When I moved to NYC, he was releasing a book that he had dedicated to his penis (which was a coincidence, as I was dedicated to his penis as well), so I showed up to a booksigning he was having in Greenwich Village. Surprise! It was all gay men.

The rule was we could only have our books signed, but I brought a stack of sexy magazine tearsheets. When I got up to him, I spread them out quickly as his guards jumped to remove them. He waved them off and signed them without even looking, including this image of his ass being bared by his brother. The picture had everything: Muscles! Ass! Incest-adjacent inappropriateness!

And now it had Marky Mark's funky signature.

I wish he wasn't such a douchebag, because he really does have a nice ass.