Loose lips

Like Kissin' Yer Mister: Junior's hot, hot cover.

Ke$ha's video for "Die Young."

Gay and handy in the kitchen? Gotta love The Flaming Chef.

Oprah to Bette Midler: "You're in your sixties!"

Christopher Ciccone follows sis Madonna on a Gloss cover.

Gaga fans burn Madonna in efitted-T.

Chinese condom ad keeps it classy.

President Obama won eight of the country's 10 richest counties.

Changing demos doomed Republicans.

Crybabies: White People Mourning Mitt Romney.

Pregnancy test joke leads to testicular-cancer diagnosis.

Modern Family star removed from home amidst abuse allegations.

VH1 Divas special includes Miley (19), Demi (20) & Jordin (22).

Via Sticky (Work Unfriendly): For those in need of a beard.

Here come the fuzz!

Debbie Reynolds, for Globe (February 21, 2011), is not impressed with Christopher Ciccone.

Oh, no—bad news for Lady GaGa...Christopher Ciccone no longer respects her. It's curtains for her self-esteem after this. (P.S. He's "managing new artists" now? God help them.)

I'd read about Christopher Ciccone's reality show, The Ciccone Factory, but hadn't thought it was interesting enough to post about. He wants to discover a club performer and groom them for stardom. In exactly the same way he had nothing to do with big sister Madonna's success.

But what surprised me was this article in which he claims he and Madonna are e-speaking again after his savage book about her (and his frequent disses of her on TV since):

"We're back to e-mail stage. She's busy opening up a bunch of gyms, but she's more than welcome to stop by. She's an inspiration to a lot of people."

In Christopher, she inspires resentment, but I guess that counts.

Just now realized their hairdos kinda matched.

First up, the Daily Mirror publishes a specious story about Madonna and Janet meeting at the MTV Video Music Awards and then again bonding over dinner at Butter here in NYC. I would find this fascinating but I can't really believe it...wouldn't MTV have reported on these two female icons meeting backstage? Are there really no paparazzi shots or fan reports of them eating at Butter—a high-profile place—during Fashion/VMAs Week?

I think Madonna allowing Rocco and Lourdes onstage for her final Sticky & Sweet shows in Tel Aviv was brilliant and adorable and nothing more or less than familial glee and support.

Rocco danced enthusiastically during the DJ set pre-show as well as during the "Music" number:

...while big sis Lourdes danced to "Give It 2 Me" during rehearsals and the performance and credibly tickled the ivories during "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You":

Disgustingly (and hypocritically), the Daily Mail has a long, long, long piece decrying that Madonna is using Lourdes for publicity (via these and Lourdes's appearances in both "Celebration" videos), even going so far as to suggest Lourdes has been somehow inappropriately dressed for a pre-teen (not for long) girl. The "Like a Virgin" costume should hardly raise an eyebrow—it's not like she's all dolled up as Dita, asking to be your mistress tonight.

Then, the piece asserts that Madonna is/will be competitive with her daughter for attention, using old and tacky quotes from Madonna's old and tacky turncoat brother Christopher to bolster the claim even though li'l Christopher was once the all-too-eager beneficiary of the spill-overs of Madonna's fame, too.

Relax, it's all in good fun.

I almost didn't get a chance to blog about "The New New Face" by Jonathan Van Meter, New York's cover story for August 11, 2008. When David first told me about it, I immediately imagined the QW (remember that poor magazine? anyone have a scan?) cover from around 1991 that deliberately showcased Madonna's face mid-sentence looking 45 instead of 33. Instead, the cover is fairly chosen, showing a radiant Madonna from the TriBeCa premiere of I Am Because We Are. The focus isn't on surgery run amok, it's on the concept of a "new face" that mirrors the traditional "new bag." That the item is permanent (well...) gives the article a slight Brazil or Death Becomes Her slant, but it's a brilliant piece of pop cultural journalism.

Skillfully identifying the traits common to the new new face ('wide open eyes, big baby cheeks, juicy—but not too—lips, defined and angular jaw, plumped skin and an overall heart-shape effect to the face'), Van Meter approaches the subject without snark and not without empathy for women, and in particular famous women, in a society where youth is the object and there's enough money around to seek it.

I'm not a fan of plastic surgery; it depresses me. I was—this is embarrassing—kinda crestfallen when it dawned on me that Madonna had had some a couple of years back, and really annoyed when I caught a glimpse of her just prior to Hard Candy's release, when her brand-new eye surgery and face fillers had yet to settle. Now, I can handle it. And I think she looks amazing when she has not just had her cheeks reinflated within the previous few weeks. But still...

Meanwhile, Madonna's dermatologist is id'ed as Dr. Fredric Brandt, seen here:

Tell you what—there is no way on earth I ever want to look 60. But I'd rather look 60 than ever look like that man. And if Madonna, with her brains and beauty and amazing eye can go in and see this person and take his advice on her skin, then all hope is lost for what she'll look like in 10 years.

Another skin luminary cited is Dr. Pat Wexler. Described as "a vision of creamy-white linelessness" who "doesn't look a day over Miley Cyrus," Wexler looks hideous to me. And fat. Not to be cruel, but if beauty is your business and if you'll do anything to keep your face looking amazing, why go to pot below your taut jawline?

The best part of the article is that he persuaded Madonna's publicist Liz Rosenberg to dish surgery over lunch...after the jump...

Here's a groovy interview with Baby Madonna (she had just turned 26 at the time but refused to admit it) from the archies of the Detroit News.

Can you imagine a pop singer starting her career in her mid-20s now?

I love how uninterested Madonna sounds in doing what at the time would have been a fairly good interview in support of what at the time was her fairly fragile new career. It's almost like, 'I left this stinky little town only to have to do interviews with people from it?'

And here is a cuh-LEARLY fake new blog by Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone. A fake blog detailing the stuff the lawyers left out is actually a hilarious idea, and someone could do a great one. The person doing this spoof...not so much.