Alphaville's Marian Gold by Shiraz Fuman

I recently ruminated about the fact that Debbie Harry has never had a Top 40 solo hit in the U.S., and had no problem at all coming up with 12 of her songs that deserved it.

Now, I've put together a list of 50 of my favorite songs of the '80s that failed to hit the Top 40 on Billboard's Hot 100. In some cases, these are the biggest songs of the decade, songs you simply can't believe were not bigger chart hits. In other cases, these are fantastic pop singles that simply failed to cut the mustard. And in still other cases, these are just songs that seemed squarely aimed at the Top 40 and were by acts who'd had not trouble breaking through earlier.

Enjoy, and please comment back with your own suggestions for songs I forgot...

What follows is a list of 125 household-name artists grouped by the last years in which they appeeared on a single that hit the Top 40 of Billboard's "Hot 100" chart in America. As a recovering teen chart nut, I find this stuff fascinating. It speaks to their relevance as artists in some cases, but speaks to the relevance of having a "hit single" in cases where the artists are clearly still quite successful by other measures.

Most of all, it's just wow-inducing to see how long it's been for some of these artists, who have sold millions and millions of records in their storied careers. It's also interesting seeing the groups of artists who enjoyed their last Top 40 success together...Gloria Gaynor and Patti Smith, for example.

(Please feel free to correct me if I am wrong on any; it's hard juggling artists' singles, featured appearances, etc.)

Enjoy...

Newsflash: 1983 was 30 years ago. A baby born the day "Rebel Yell" was released could be a balding dad of three by now. Quite easily.

Looking back, that year seems to be a sweet spot for great pop music, perhaps in part because I was about 14, which was when I was really intensely caring about music, especially anything Casey Kasem told me about.

What follows are my picks for the ultimate, defining pop singles of 1983. Let me know if I missed any! I focused on U.S. singles with a few U.K. tossed in for good measure, and tried not to include a song if the bulk of its life as a single was really in 1982, yet I did include some that were released in '82 but were huge in '83. (I tended to skip any songs that were released in Decemvber of '83.)

Enjoy the flashback...

The eye-popping Strumpfhosentanz dance, a simple optical illusion, is like Blondie's Parallel Lines taken to its illogical extreme:

Video after the jump...

Down Under? Over & out!

Banned in Australia, I Want Your Love gets Franco defense, NakedSword release.

Speaking of smut, there's the dirty Boy Culture tumblr to consider. (Work Unfriendly)

Take a cruise with Audra McDonald and Will Swenson.

Bradley Cooper doesn't want an Oscar???

Jeb Bush moving backwards on immigration.

Lech Walesa's own son embarrassed by his anti-gay comments.

Calvin Klein's Dark Obsession with Matthew Terry.

Follow me on Twitter.

BEATING OFF: A host of Downtown denizens raised $ for Jackie Beat's hips:

(Sorta L-R) Lance Cruce, Sherry Vine (behind), Frank DeCaro, World Famous Bob (behind), Chip Duckett, Joan Rivers, Murray Hill (behind), Formika (back), Jackie Hoffman, Robin Byrd, Jackie Beat  (behind) and Mimi Imfurst.

This underwear is sheer ecstasy. (Work Unfriendly)

Boehner's lawyer accidentally argues for marriage equality.

Campaigning for the papacy? Margaret Avery would be proud.

Joan Rivers is being a dick about Adele.

Madonna's gift from Keith Haring, 1983.

Crazy-rare Madonna mag from Japan sucking the air out of eBay.

Please "like" Boy Culture on Facebook.

Makes me mad this only has 52 views.

How many EY! Magateen subscribers live in and around the Vatican?

He's the latest (Do) "It" boy

The queen's throat

Last night, we attended Michael Musto's Disco Extravaganza at 54 Below, a heart-filled effort to revive the disco era decades after its death under mysterious circumstances. (Did it die out naturally like the dinosaurs, or did those "disco sucks" schmucks commit foul play?) It was a lot of fun, even if the prominent stage in such an intimate space confused some attendees about whether they should be dannnncing, yeah!, or watching the performers. Holding it on the site of the original studio 54 was as good a way as any to conjure up the ghost of Disco Sally.

Orfeh was the opposite of "meh"

The evening began on point, with the bow-tied doorman bluntly but amusingly informing those who'd arrived with extra plus ones—even the esteemed photographer Patrick McMullan—that there was no way they were getting in. He was a one-man velvet rope!

Musto said he was fulfilling his dream of bringing people together to appreciate disco

Inside, McMullan and others were snapping photos of those attendees who'd arrived in '70s wear. For anyone keeping score, the main drawback to polyester boogie shirts that haven't been worn since 1978 would be the smell. 

Musto celebrating Halloween at Studio 54  in 1979

Nobody was giving blowjobs in the corner, coke dust wasn't raining from the roof and we didn't find any money hidden in the walls, but the 90-minute set list was satisfying, featuring the cruise-ship-ready stylings of Elektrik Company (great singers, great at shaming us for not dancing), the incomparable Orfeh (who blew us all away with her "Come to Me" and "Don't Leave Me This Way") and a rockin' and ramblin' "Y.M.C.A." by original Village People person Randy Jones.

Randy said the glitzy setting made him feel like Liza, "...only younger!"

Musto himself, did a carbs-in-cheek, fatphobic (wait, that's an anachronism if we're back in the '70s) send-up of "I Will Survive" but was singing, seriously singing, on "Macho Man" and "Last Dance" (he noted he'd be a disco queen like Donna Summer, except gay-friendly, then asked, "Too soon?"). I'm not saying his vocals were a revelation, but he sounded better than Ethel Merman on her disco album.

Hey, you guys!!! It's the Elektrik Company...

It was cool enough hearing those songs performed live, and then Tish & Snooky—original backing singers from Blondie and Downtown legends who were in the Drop-Outs and the Sic F*cks before opening Manic Panic—really lit a fire under us with their "Freak Out."

C'est chic to "Freak Out" with Tisk & Snooky ("the one with no STDs," Musto clarified)

Steve Rubell would've been proud. And horny. And in need of some blow. After the fold, check out some of the musical highlights...

Drag legend Jackie Beat makes a living ripping people a new one, but now she needs two new ones...we're talking about hips here. Since Jackie has no health insurance and is facing a $50,000 bill to have both hips replaced, a veritable who's-who of Downtown denizens is banding together for a once-in-a-lifetime (unless the new hips wear out, too) benefit called Hip Hip Hooray: A Bone-A-Fit for Jackie Beat.

Republicans probably think this is how it should always be done. Anything but universal health care!

The March 3 benefit features Debbie Harry, Joan Rivers, Sherry Vine, Parker Posey, Murray Hill, The Glamazons, Lady Bunny, Frank DeCaro, The World Famous Bob, Formika, DJ Miss Guy and Fred Schneider—get tickets here before they go the way of Jackie's worn-out body parts.

We can rebuild her!

I've got over 700 45s, mostly from the 1980s. They represent my being; they represent the time I decided to start buying each week's Top 10, they represent my obsessions with certain artists (Madonna, Eurythmics, Blondie, Pet Shop Boys) and they represent my addiction to imagery.

For fun, I pulled out a few that I think are bona fide pieces of art. Maybe next time I'll choose the tackiest ones...

Look, I'm not a former candidate—I don't need to be classy. And it's great that Mitt Romney gave a classy, gracious concession speech (eventually), but it only came after months of saying and doing horrendous things that threatened many things I hold dear. So if you're feeling groovy and don't want any post-election snark, skip this. Otherwise, here's my Romney/Ryan playlist—my last post on their losing ticket.

"WonkaMix (Willy Wonka You Lose Remix)" by Various

"It Isn't, It Wasn't, It Ain't Never Gonna Be" by Aretha Franklin & Whitney Houston

Derek Magyar in a moment of, er, celebration from the movie Boy Culture

Today marks BoyCulture.com's 7th Anniversary. It's been a crazy ride, one I've had to adjust to on an almost daily basis in order to keep moving forward.

Please check out some of my favorite posts here—and please don't hesitate to share anything you like on this blog via Twitter, Facebook and other social media. Keep those hits comin'.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

A suitable image cloud for BoyCulture.com?