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Jun 28 2016
Finger On Pulse: NYC Pride March 2016 — With 100s Of Pictures! Comments (0)

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IMG_7509*All of the above! (All images in this post by Matthew Rettenmund, unless noted)

My day at the NYC Pride March was a beautiful reminder of my experience in life and of the fact that I'm always having new experiences in life ... and proof that my little body's slowing breaking down. Oh, my aching gay back!

I was tapped to follow the stripper-drenched Adonis Lounge float, photographing the guys and the gays' reactions to them as we tooled through Manhattan, Screen Shot 2016-06-27 at 11.43.40 PMbut was told the night before—at a nude party, which are great fun when only the strippers and not the patrons provide the nudity—that I wouldn't be meeting then until 3 p.m. That blew my mind, as anyone marching in the parade usually meets up in the morning. This year, organizers seemed to get more realistic about when groups should assemble on the side streets in the 30s and 40s along Fifth Avenue to cut down on congestion and fatigue, but there was no way I wanted to miss the parade itself just because I was going to be in it, toward the end. [Pictured: Me with Angel (Image by Angel Jimez), me with Edward (Image courtesy of Edward Thomas)]

So, I woke up early, fed myself, pulled on my beloved Mildred Fierce T-shirt and hauled camera over to W. 41st St., which I picked IMG_7475*
because I read that was where a group featuring teen trans star Jazz Jennings would be meeting up and thought she'd be fun to shoot again. I never found her, but did find my pal Edward Thomas and his sister.

It was a great block on which to hang out, filled with plenty of beauties, interesting faces and spirited coppers—I was mixing it up with the Gay Officers Action League, where I met a lesbian couple in love with Varla Jean Merman (my shirt provided the conversation-starter), was handed my first NO when asking to take someone's picture (an all-but-naked man in a leather jockstrap, who apparently wasn't seeking attention) and fell in love several times.

IMG_7495*Copping out!

I don't have official press I.D., which isn't technically needed to cover a public event, but I'm always worried I'll be stopped when walking from float to float. Once our group poured onto Fifth, there was no turning back and I was able to march forward pretty far, to within a few groups of the very beginning of the parade (I had fun with the Hillary marchers, unaware that had I just stuck with them a few more blocks, I would've encountered the woman herself—oh, well, I did get Chelsea last year).

IMG_7470*The first one I fell for: The adorable Zico boy and his hairy legs.

Once I'd gotten way down from the 40s to the teens, I simply turned around and began slowly moving back against the tide in order to see as many marchers as possible.

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IMG_7555*Now cheer this!

It was a beautiful march—colorful, exuberant, and sunny—but it surprised me that it didn't feel as pregnant with purpose as I'd expected in the wake of the Orlando mass shooting. To be sure, there were countless expressions of solidarity and sorrow over the event, most prominently in the inclusion of Pulse owner Barbara Poma and the many WE ARE ORLANDO signs, but the parade didn't have a different vibe—it was just much, much longer. Maybe that was the Pulse effect, a rush to be a part of the bigger picture, even if more than a few moms back home were wishing their LGBT kids were not going to be quite so LGBT, quite so out in the open; I guess a lot more people wanted to send the message that they were deeply affected by Orlando, but wouldn't let that stop them from being themselves in public.

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IMG_7612*Many 49ers in the crowd

The other thing I noticed more so than ever, and that drives at least some people away from the otherwise energizing event, is the relentless corporatization of it. I have argued before, and it is still my belief, that big business marketing to us is not demonic, and that if we live in a capitalist society and are the target of marketers, that is a sign of respect for our importance, our power. Also, it's psychologically vastly important that everyday brands go out of their way to support the LGBT cause openly—even if I'm not sure whether Kiehl's is a top or a bottom (probably bottom), or in what stage of transitioning Facebook may be.

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IMG_7606*Case in point: Delta Airlines had human billboards ... and yet these two pics were among my favorite due to the marcher's joy.

I appreciate that the captains of industry understand that LGBT people are there customers and are not afraid to have our back on our biggest day of the year. Frankly, we'd have to buy from them anyway.

IMG_8674*The only thing they were selling was love.

That said, it's more and more of a killjoy to see so many marchers who were casted to walk attractively alongside and while wearing a logo. This fatiguing omnipresence of big business first hit me when I heard a team leader giving what sounded like shareholders speech before his company group's step-off, was compounded by running into a young friend who was being paid to participate (would he have even gone otherwise?) and was hammered home when, at the end of the draining day I was handed three rainbow bracelets—and upon closer inspection, discovered they advertised Wyndham Rewards. Womp-womp.

IMG_7436*Whether the message is from MasterCard or Harvey Milk, it's true: Acceptance does matter.

It's not moving, this businessy side of the parade, but on the other hand, I suppose it's the biggest pie in the face of every Anita Bryant ever that Walmart's with us, and that MasterCard is telling the world #AcceptanceMatters. Because it does, but who knew MasterCard would one day care?

I think what would help me get over the $$$ aspect is if the march could somehow encourage much smaller groups to have floats (at a discounted rate?) that were being judged for creativity and messaging. That way, I think people would be less inundated with pitches (including political ones) and the parade itself would only be more fun.

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IMG_7716*Their bodies are not your enemy.

In the past, I've also read a lot about people thinking the parade is too sexy, too about perfect bodies. I really don't get that at all. I hunted for those sexy IMG_7777*bodies, and while there were plenty on display, it sure didn't feel excessive. I recall other parades in decades past that felt far more decadent. (I later wound up on the dirtiest float in the entire procession, and it suck out like a sore thumb-job.) I also just unfriended a very intelligent but ridiculously politicized writer whose posts obsess over racism and sexism and homophobic in ways that are more self-parody than self-help. The straw that broke the homo's back was his declaration that he “hates” Gay Pride, partly due to a wrenching experience he had once (which I get) but mainly due to his feeling that all the lovely bodies are shaming him and telling him he isn't good enough.

I fully understand that twinge one can get when one sees a gaggle of ostentatiously sexy, mind-bogglingly muscled gay dudes in Speedos IMG_8111* acting like they were born that way, and there are definitely a lot of boys who, like too many girls have always done in order to seem less threatening to men, fake air-headedness and flash skin until it becomes who they are. But they are not the ones telling you you're not good enough by having great beauty, you're the one telling yourself that. Get over it, enjoy their beauty and—you know what?—enjoy what you've got, too. We are all born and we all die and any one of us can get shot in a club or get cancer or get gay-bashed or anything else you can imagine, so celebrating our fleeting sexiness should be an act of pleasure and defiance, not something to make us binge-eat a bag of doughnuts and declare our hatred for gay pride.

IMG_7754*Don't ever hate Pride.

All that said, I did have a blast playing photojournalist (surprising that I had about a half dozen people I asked for posed pictures decline), taking portraits, candids and landscapes of the gigantic, throbbing event from noon to 3. Ultimately, there is nothing else quite like a big-city LGBT parade, even if someone, somewhere is making a little cash off of it.

IMG_7543*See change!

By 3, I had made my way back to where the floats were waiting to make their way down Fifth, and found the Adonis Lounge's station. I spent several hours there—we didn't step off until something like 6!—and then spent another few slowly, ever so slowly, marching the entire route. But that's for another post.

IMG_7577*Looking at these women, who wouldn't wanna be a lesbian?

Enjoy some of my favorite photos, SHARE on social media and feel free to chime in if you see anyone you know ...

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Jun 26 2016
This Is My Trainer, And He Could Be Yours Comments (0)

Screen Shot 2016-06-25 at 4.46.19 PMBrian Patrick Murphy (Images by Matthew Rettenmund)

A few years back, I tried Snatched at Mark Fisher Fitness, having been impressed by actor Christopher Sieber's body transformation. While I didn't go from fat to fabulous, I did lose weight and my body changed a lot. Today, I'm heavier than I like to see reflected on the scale, and yet I know at least some of it is from muscle built at Mark Fisher Fitness and with my private trainer Dom.

Check them out, seriously, if you are (1) in NYC; (2) in need of a regular, inexpensive, intelligent fitness program; (3) not offended by graphic sex talk and trainers who dress like Brian, seen above.

Brian is one of the honchos, so he isn't teaching every class. But when you get him, he will be in underwear. As for the current debate over queer-baiting, I must say that MFF does it best—all their male trainers have beautiful, supple bods, era-appropriate booties and talk incessantly about kinds of sex you may not have even actually had, and then a girlfriend gets mentioned like four classes in, when you're hooked. (Brian's so deep in he's married!)

All kidding aside, the trainers—guys and girls—are excellent, the classes do work you over and the atmosphere is cheerful and encouraging. Just don't go in hoping Brian will do anal, because he doesn't. Anymore.

P.S. I am not getting paid, but if you do try them out, feel free to drop my name.

 
Jun 25 2016
2 Guys, 1 Beach Comments (0)

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 6.23.04 PM(Video still via Gastohn Barrios)

Just a short clip of two male models frolicking on the beach in Rio ...

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Bryan Hawn Takes Manhattan Comments (0)

Dangerous 4(All images in this post via Bryan Hawn)

In case you missed the news—which someone already started spreading—luscious Bryan Hawn is in NYC for a stint at the Adonis Lounge, and will be on their NYC Pride March float.

Check out some exclusive footage of his sexy dancing here on Wednesday: 

Click to see his prize-winning (or it would if they gave them out for that) booty completely in the raw. (Work Unfriendly)

He didn't waste any time which he was here, filming the following “Dangerous Woman” parody ...

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Jun 24 2016
HEAT INDEX — Tuli Kopp + Bryan Hawn + Milos Raonic + Jake Robbins + Sidney Crosby + Macy's Men + Scorching Selfie + Ryan Beatty + Catwalk Studs + Chicago Fleshback! Comments (0)
 

C I R C U I T❤️ @circuitfestival ❤️

A photo posted by ! ✨Tuli Kopp✨ (@tulikopp) on

TO BE ISRAEL: Above, Tel Aviv's Tuli Kopp wants to pump you up.

BUBBLE BONUS: Outtake from my 30-second shoot with Bryan Hawn:

IMG_7061* copy(Image by Matthew Rettenmund)

SERVING SHIRTLESSNESS: Tennis pro Milos Raonic.

DESPERATELY SEEKING: Jake Robbins gets sexy with a dude in Physical Attraction.

3fe00b_7cc7912ffc6c40c0917ffae373abfb8eJake Robbins (Image via JakeRobbinsTheActor.com)

FILLING SUIT: Oh, hi, Sidney Crosby!

HOTNESS IN REVIEW: Macy's men's-department hotties:

HOTTEST GYM SELFIE EVER?: It's gotta be in the Top 10.

YOUTUBE STAR RYAN BEATTY GREW UP HOT:

 

9 DAYS TIL PASSION ON ITUNES

A photo posted by @ryanbeatty on  

WALK, DON'T RUN: Insanely hot guys on the catwalk.

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 10.59.02 AM(Image via F*cking Young!)

FLESHBACK: Remembering my 2013 trip to the Hot Dude Convention that is Northalsted Market Days.

6a00d8341c2ca253ef0192aca1b7f6970d-800wi(Image by Matthew Rettenmund)

 
The Adonis Lounge Moves To Stonewall With Bryan Hawn As Its NYC Pride Weekend Guest Star! Comments (0)

IMG_7052* copyBryan with Adonis Lounge owner Tim (All images in this post by Matthew Rettenmund)

If you're in or around NYC and have never been to the Adonis Lounge, you're missing out on some truly surgically IMG_7056* copy accurate lap-dancing offered by horny strippers without scruples.

The party just moved from Evolve in the godforsaken East 50s to—where else?—the one and only Stonewall in the Village, where you will find owner/operator Tim and his posse of guys every Wednesday and Saturday.

I went to Wednesday's opening-night party, and it was packed, but not so packed that you couldn't pick out any dancer you wanted to take a seat on you.

IMG_7070*The writhing was on the wall.

I must confess I went partly to support Tim and partly because my online buddy and frequent blog-post topic Bryan Hawn was appearing. Bryan flew in, took off his clothes and went directly into a dance in his 4th of July-friendly G-string.

IMG_7048* copyEven cuter in person

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IMG_7041* copyFan-friendly

The crowd went wild for the owner of the best booty the Internet's ever seen as he gyrated to Salt-N-Pepa and Lady Gaga, so I had to work fast to get posed pictures of him for this blog (and for Tim's use; non-approved photography is strictly forbidden at strip clubs, and yet is often perpetrated by those lurkers who refuse to give any tips to the working boys).

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Jun 23 2016
Ends Of The World Comments (0)

IMG_6729*(Image via Matthew Rettenmund)

More hotties here.

 
HEAT INDEX — Grindr By Steven Klein + Greg Louganis Raw + Naked Buddies + Jamie Dornan + Joe Taslim + Retro James Caan + Booty Call + Steven Dehler + Calvin Harris + Casting Call! Comments (0)

Screen Shot 2016-06-23 at 12.44.19 PM(Fragment of image by Steven Klein for PAPER)

PAPER POSES: Steven Klein gets seriously horny in “Zero Feet Away” shoot for PAPER.

SIMON DUNN & AUSTIN ARMACOST: Nekkid.

DIVE RIGHT IN: Greg Louganis still has a gold-medal-worthy booty, naked at 56. Plus, Dwayne Wade is THE STUD.

PACKIN' HEAT: Jamie Dornan's jeans tell the tale while he films dumb sequel.

HAPPY B'DAY: Joe Taslim is hot at any age:

PEEK AT HIS PEAK: James Caan in the shower, back in the day.

ASS MAN?: Here, dear.

NOT-SO-PLAIN DEHLER:

 

CALVIN HARRIS: Shirtless selfie.

THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?:

 


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