Is the new flavor lip gloss?

Choose your favorite Super Bowl Doritos commercial.

My new favorite wide receiver.

Every second man in NYC must be an escort.

Carly Rae Jepsen wants to "grovel" and kiss Madonna's hand.

New York leads the way in gun control.

FOX News attempts to rebrand the "debt limit."

This priest was literally all tied up in church.

Rising Evangelical apologizes for gay-bashing.

Inside NOH8's fourth-anniversary party.

Lena Dunham won't marry until you can:

Oui are the world

Hottest Madonna collectibles of 2012.

Floral fashions, complete with PhotoShop loading bars.

Schatz chosen to succeed Inouye—against Inoye's dying wishes.

Boehner vacationing as fiscal-cliff plunge looms.

FOX labels Westboro "left-wing cult."

Dan Stevens leaving Downton Abbey.

Valerie Harper releasing I, Rhoda memoir.

Anti-privacy Facebook exec changes her tune.

Katy Perry to youth: "Ask for help."

AfterElton's most popular posts.

Blind items to uselessly try to guess.

Top gay-porn stories of 2012.

Off their Crockers

La Lindz as La Liz swills Vodka-brand vodka

Charlie Sheen gave Lindsay Lohan $100K for taxes.

Angus T. Jones's mom: Religious rant shows he's being exploited.

Facebook policy-change hysteria.

Rob Johnson looks ah-mazing shirtless.

The Shining: The Musical exists.

Hipsters pre-date Christ?

Jenny Johnson wins Twitter feud with Chris Brown.

Rachel Maddow to Doonesbury.

Meet David Guetta in Ibiza, girl!

Gay dad makes electoral history.

Mug shot extortion could lead to more mug shots.

Ricky Martin: Adios to Evita.

Various bloggers (him & him) were wrong about "Elmo."

FOX News guest calls network "wing of the Republican Party."

Uganda to condemn its LGBT and LGBT-friendly citizens?

From the producers of Idi Amin...

Romney believed he was Mormonism's mane man!

Did shellshocked Romney believe he was Mormonism's "white horse?"

Gingrich was pretty surprised, too, though.

Obama won because he called Romney a "poopy head?"

"Boehner has got to understand—they lost."—Sanders

The last "unknown" soldier wasn't.

Activist Brandon Lacy Campos (pictured)  found dead.

Madonna returns to NYC—possibly set to DJ?

Marriage equality makes polling gains everywhere.

The Simpsons tweaks FOX & Karl Rove.

Justin Timberlake signed for gambling flick.

Cincinnati FOX anchor vs. Rachel Maddow.

Guess what hottie just posed for NOH8?

Mamet, LuPone and Winger? Whoa!

Judy's dress goes for $480K, Kate's cake is $7.5K/slice!

"For $480,000 I'll throw in a BJ from Toto!"

The lady with the flag in her hair was a scene-stealer. Aretha wants one NOW.

President Barack Obama's instant-classic 2 a.m. victory speech.

Why his win is, in fact, a mandate.

Mitt Romney's brief but conciliatory concession.

Tammy Baldwin's powerful victory speech.

Tommy Thompson's deflated concession speech.

Elizabeth Warren's exhilarated victory speech.

Scott Brown's defensive concession speech.

Claire McCaskill's against-all-odds victory speech.

Todd Akin's must-see revolting cunt-cession speech.

Heidi Heitkamp (D) narrowly defeats Rick Berg (R) in ND.

Jon Tester (D) looks set to beat Denny Rehberg (R) in MT.

Gabby Giffords' aide slightly behind in race to succeed her in AZ.

Openly gay Richard Tisei (R) loses to John Tierney (D) in MA.

Michele Bachmann (RX100) beats Jim Graves (D) in MN...barely.

Allen West (RX1,000) probably loses to Patrick Murphy (D) in FL...barely.

Jeff Flake (R) defeats Richard Carmona (D) in AZ.

Senate will have highest % of females ever...at 18%.

GA won by Romney, but by less than 8%. Swing state '16.

All four marriage-equality votes favored the good guys.

OH newswoman has zero integrity, sick of talking about it.

GOProud not only stupid, but also bitter.

Brian Williams on Trump: "Driven well past the last exit to relevance."

"Hey, guysh...if you wanna hear shum shtuff, I'll tell yas shum Nixshun shtuff...whee!"

Projection: Diane Sawyer is sleeping it off right now.

CO, WA & MA chillax on the pot issue.

L.A.: Porn performers must wear condoms.

Madonna thrills at news of Obama's victory. Strips.

Other stars react to President Obama's big win.

Karl Rove refuses to accept reality. Worked in '00. Not this time.

This turd has blossomed

"Chill out—he had this!"

Lesbian Tammy Baldwin (D) beats out Tommy Thompson (R) in WI.

Out former Clinton staffer Sean Patrick Maloney (D) beats Nan Hayworth (R) in NY.

Maine to marriage equality: We do! (MD: Us, too!)

Claire McCaskill (D) shuts down Todd Akin (Rape) in MO.

Elizabeth Warren (D) unseats Scott Brown (R) in MA.

Kirsten Gillibrand (D) easily wins a full term in NY.

Sherrod Brown (D) wins vs. unspeakable douchebag in OH.

Linda McMahon (R) pinned by Chris Murphy (D) in CT.

Joe Donnelly (D) aborts Richard Mourdock (R) in IN.

Tim Kaine (D) trounces George "Macaca" Allen in VA.

Bill Nelson (D) strikes out Connie Mack (R) in FL.

Bill Casey (D) wins—no clever verbiage—vs. Tom Smith (R) in PA.

In MA, Kennedy (D) scores Barney Frank's seat. (Stop it.)

Tammy Duckworth (D) vanquishes deadbeat dad Joe Walsh (R) in IL.

Mazie Hirono (D) defeats ex-guv Linda Lingle (R) in HI.

Redskins game that predicted Obama loss was botched by ref.

Bill O'Reilly thinks all O voters are freeloaders.

GOP to hold onto the House of Representatives.

Karl Rove literally thinks he owns FOX News.

Donald Trump should be arrested for treason. For real.

And finally, Sarah Palin looks HIDEOUS:

Via Perez.

Tearin' it up

Obama goes emo in Iowa: "It's up to you."

Springsteen & Jay-Z hype up WI for the other Boss.

Young bigots explain their views: It's the Bible.

The candidates court the football crowd.

CNN on Obama today: "Hangs out" in Chicago, "lies low."

Little girl supports marriage equality.

Protect Marriage Maine really hates the gays.

Irish bettor pays out on Obama bets two days early!

InTrade is also bullish on President Obama's chances.

FOX News is afraid of black men. Literally.

Obama wins 23-9-2 in Hart's Location, NH, ties 5-5 in Dixville Notch.

Chris Christie blew off Romney even worse behind-the-scenes.

Map always favored Obama—still does.

All poll closing times.

Michelle Obama: Vote!

Nobody named "Papa" could secretly be gay, right?

Lane Garrison: I lived with Papa Joe—he can't be gay!

Recent GOP prez candidate Michele Bachmann...an independent???

FOX fucks up: Bloomberg backs...Romney???

The Economist backs Obama again.

Romney lands a HUGE endorsement, too!

Nutty Romney supporters attempt to explain.

Jodie Foster getting Cecil B. DeMille.

Miley Cyrus does dubstep.

Chrysler Group VP for Product Design tweets Trump: "you are full of shit!"

Bill Clinton doing more campaigning than Mitt Romney.

Bristol Palin knows how to use the Craigslist!

Michelangelo Signorile is one in a hundred!

You can tell gay guys by their pronounced lists

...2008. In defense of Bush.

Via Joe.My.God.: Funnier than their latest movie by far, Miss Piggy leaves hoof marks all over FOX "News" in this clip from a hilarious, spontaneous (?) exchange at a press conference...