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Jun 25 2016
Armenia Girls: A Review Of KATDASHIANS: BREAK THE MUSICAL Comments (0)

IMG_7267*Three sisters: Kim Kat (Carmen Mendoza), Kourtney Kat (Bridget Kennedy), Khloé Kat (Elliott Brooks)

Okay, like, I got invited to this super exclusive new Off-Broadway show called Katdashians: Break the Musical, and it was seriously the funniest thing everrr or, like, at least, it was a funny thing, you know? Bible.

Katdashians: Break the Musical is the very funny creation of Bob and Tobly McSmith, the warped minds behind past romps like Bayside! The Musical!, Full House: The Musical! and Showgirls!: The Musical. With the McSmiths' perverse combo of legitimately complex songs and gross-out humor, tight direction by tight John Duff (who we would all like to see attempt to break the Internet with his own fame-ready caboose), and Broadway-level choreography by Viva Soudan, the show has more to offer than just cheap laughs at the world's most famous Armenian-Americans.

IMG_7219*There goes Times Square (again). (All images in this post by Matthew Rettenmund)

Though there are plenty of cheap laughs, too.

The show follows—wallows in?—the regrettable ascension of the Kardashians, ending somewhere just beyond Caitlyn Jenner's transition. The songs are, as the title suggests, frequently parodies of famous numbers from Cats (which is returning to Broadway in the near future—that legendary musical is as bad as Keeping Up with the Kardashians and apparently just as hard to euthanize permanently), but there are also clever re-workings of tunes by Beyoncé, Madonna and other suitably fabulous fame whores.

And yes, it was “better than Cats.”

IMG_7269*A Chorus Feline

Speaking of which, if there is anything limiting about doing a parody of the most famous, most polarizing people alive, it may be that the show works best if you know everything about the Kardashians and also have the Cats original cast recording memorized. Thing is, very few people probably check both boxes. Luckily, the show does work if you're only into one or the other, and even seems to work if you're a novice regarding both. I surveyed some patrons and was surprised how few were well-versed in Kardashian lore, though a girl behind me who claimed she knew nothing knew all the terms in the “How to Speak Kardashian” insert from our program. The guy next to me, who knew zero about the Kardashians, laughed loudly throughout. I mean, jokes about pubic hair and anal sex are pretty universal.

IMG_7257*Finding North: Vogue cover subject Kim vogues.

The cast/cats are purrfect, led by Carmen Mendoza as busty, bratty, dusky-Baby Doll Kim Kat. She has her look down pat and has the star quality necessary to function as the epicenter of an attention-logged sect.

Bridget Kennedy as Kourtney Kat is a riot, offering a deadpan, personality-free take that reminded me of the fun femme performances in the late, great American Psycho. She channels a Selma Blair monotone and has the requisite bombshell looks, the exact recipe for Kourtney.

Standing out from an already stellar group is Elliott Brooks as Khloé Kat, whose character gets the Cher-in-Moonstruck treatment as we follow her from Khloé's birth status as a softer, potty-on-me-mouthed version of The Thing to the voluptuous blonde work-out fanatic that she is today. With manic, verbal-diarrhetic glee, she spits out shocking one-liners about anal sex, anal beds, “Shit on a dick!” and projectile vaginal discharge—singing hysterically at one point about the seemingly drug-resistant strain of pubic hair she hosts—and yet still makes the audience root for her. Definitely pick of the litter.

IMG_7287*When Mama Jenner introduces her new boyfriend, Corey Gamble.

Bailey Nolan is Kris Kat/Kris Jenner's doppelgänger thanks to the perfect wig and a great vocal imitation; it felt like Kris was appearing in the show herself, which is not something I would put past her. Her counterpart, Peter Smith as Bruce/Catlyn/Caitlyn, nailed the transgender trailblazer's guyish speech and was able to make us cheer for her transition all over again, even though in real life, Caitlyn turned out to be kind of a dud in the inspiration arena. Smith's take on a parody of “Memory” was a show-stopper.

IMG_7284*They call me Bruce: Smith's Catlyn was the cat's meow.

Knee-slapping, mutinous scenes featuring choreographer Soudan as Kylie Kat and Ariel Ash as Kendall Kat (in a mask and peek-a-boo unitard, she was the spitting image) had some audience members howling. Alexis Kelley and Jenyvette Vega serve as ass-tastic Dash Dolls.

IMG_7295*Let's hope the litter-box office is strong!

Best thing about the show, though, might be the innovation of encouraging (non-flash) photography, and especially selfie-taking, throughout. So if your mind wanders, take a great selfie and let your followers on social media know that you're doing looking good.

In the end, this sometimes almost admiring, more often catty, hoot has its claws out mostly for you, the audience that pretends to revile a family famous only for being famous ... all the while watching their every move like a cat watches a bowl-bound goldfish.

Katdashians: Break the Musical is at the Elektra Theatre at 300 W. 43rd St., NYC, through July 16. Tickets are $25-$45. Visit the site here.

Keep reading for video and pictures from the opening-night champagne toast ...

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Thank Ya, Yeezus: Kanye's Latest Music Video Is Actually Good Stuff Comments (0)

Screen Shot 2016-06-25 at 12.54.28 PM(Image via Tidal)

Ever wanted to see Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift, George W. Bush, Bill Cosby, Donald Trump, Ray J, Amber Rose, Chris Brown, Rihanna, Anna Wintour and Caitlyn Jenner nude in bed together?

Thanks to Kanye, you can see just that, in his cheeky “Famous” music video, which uses trickery and, presumably, stand-ins to create the illusion that all of those famous/infamous figures are sharing a spent morning after together.

Check it out on Tidal.

 
May 03 2016
6-PACK — Lesbians Are Prom Royalty + Tupac Shakur's Mom Dies + Little Richard Gravely Ill + Madonna Owns, Kimye Fail, Manus x Machina Exhibit + After The TOUGH LOVE Is Gone! Comments (0)

Screen Shot 2016-05-03 at 8.11.45 AMTheir peers think these lesbians hung the moon. (Image courtesy of Tammy Poucher)

6a00d8341c2ca253ef01bb08e9cf88970d-800wiFlorida high school students crown lesbian couple king & queen of the prom: “The pair hopes it helps others by raising awareness about LGBTQ issues.”

6a00d8341c2ca253ef01bb08e9cf88970d-800wiActivist and mother of late hip-hop legend Tupac Shakur, Afeni Shakur Davis, dies of a heart attack in the middle of bitter divorce.

6a00d8341c2ca253ef01bb08e9cf88970d-800wiLittle Richard, 83, is reportedly gravely ill. The flamboyant “Tutti Frutti” singer has had a stroke, a heart attack and hip surgery in recent years.

6a00d8341c2ca253ef01bb08e9cf88970d-800wiI sincerely hope your favorite '80s icon is (1) alive, (2) looking & feeling good, (3) still in possession of the moves, baby: 

 

The one and only @madonna in @givenchyofficial inside the #ManusxMachina Experience. Directed by @gvsgvs. #MetGala

A video posted by Vogue (@voguemagazine) on

6a00d8341c2ca253ef01bb08e9cf88970d-800wiKim & Kanye are half Madonna's age and approach the same Manus x Machina Experience challenge like great-grandparents.

6a00d8341c2ca253ef01bb08e9cf88970d-800wiFinal episode of Tough Love: “We take a break from all the silliness and deal with some painful topics, like rejection and friends growing apart”:

 
Mar 07 2016
Caitlyn Jenner Dislikes Hillary Clinton For Being Too ... Selfish Comments (0)
 

Backstage getting ready for the big show in New York. #nyfw2016

A photo posted by Caitlyn Jenner (@caitlynjenner) on

Caitlyn Jenner, star of a reality show with her own name in the title, thinks Hillary Clinton only cares about herself. I'll just leave the link here, and let you ponder Caitlyn's observation about women who are too into themselves.

 
Feb 18 2016
6-PACK — Rentboy Employees Off The Hook(er) + Sandra Day O'Connor: Let Obama Pick + How Sanders Could Get The Dem Nom + Kanye > Picasso + Gay People Of Walmart + TRUTH OR DARE To Dream! Comments (0)
 

A photo posted by Jeffrey Hurant (@jhurant) on

*widget boy cultureCharges against 6 Rentboy.com employees dropped; Hurant (above) in talks.

*widget boy cultureRetired SCOTUS Justice Sandra Day O'Connor: Obama should “get on with it.

*widget boy cultureSanders's path to win the Dem prez nom.

*widget boy cultureKanye thinks he is more influential than Picasso by 50%.

*widget boy cultureWalmart case could expand gay rights at work.

*widget boy cultureHow Madonna's Truth or Dare helped the LGBT cause.

Tumblr_mgtkcn0Hfd1qkzr9fo2_500(GIF from Truth or Dare)

 
Feb 15 2016
Taylor Swift Blanks Kanye West Comments (0)

Taylor Swift, for some reason, won Album of the Year at the Grammys. Quite unsurprised, she noted that she is the only woman to ever win the honor twice. Meh.

However, she then pointedly took aim at Kanye West—who in his new song claims credit for Swift's fame:

There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame ...

Ouch! Bottom line: I still find her annoying.

An early-years pic of Taylor:

GiphyGIF from the film Election (1999)

 
6-PACK — Will Senate Engage In High-Tech Loretta Lynching? + Scalia Pre-Rolling Over In Grave + BAFTAs Heart Leo + Stephen Fry Will NOT Be Criticized + NeNe Leakes Questions The Facts Of Kim Fields's Life + Steal This Album! Comments (0)

*widget boy cultureWill Obama nom U.S. A.G. and career prosecutor Loretta Lynch to SCOTUS?

*widget boy cultureOriginalist Scalia would likely object to Senate refusing to fill SCOTUS vacancy.

*widget boy cultureFull list of BAFTA winners—zero for lesbian-themed Carol.

Tumblr_nzhr4s7S8l1qzheh0o1_500GIF via Carol

*widget boy cultureBAFTAs host Stephen Fry objects to criticism, leaves Twitter.

*widget boy cultureNeNe Leakes speculates whether RHOA co-star Kim Fields's husband is gay.

*widget boy cultureKanye cries poverty, begs for $ from Facebook founders, jealous of African school kids.

 
Feb 12 2016
6-PACK — GT's Trans Cover Star Aydian Dowling + Taylor Swiftly Betrayed By Kanye West + Édgar Ramírez Minus Clothing + Thoroughly Modern Margo + Sandra Bernhard Still Avoiding Stoney End + Bloody Good Ramsey Song! Comments (0)

Gay-Times-AydianDowlingGT456_MiniCoverAydian Dowling for GT by Brian Davies/Lee Faircloth

*widget boy cultureHOT trans man Aydian Dowling covers GT.

*widget boy cultureThis is what Taylor Swift gets for forgiving that asshole Kanye West.

*widget boy cultureMovie stud Édgar Ramírez doesn't need his clothes to look sexy.

MargoHoff“Button Factory” by Margo Hoff

*widget boy cultureModernist, Margo Hoff mini masterpiece for your wall.

*widget boy cultureIn praise of Sandra Bernhard.

*widget boy cultureCheck out Ramsey's edgy “See You Bleed” single. Possible new Cruz campaign song?

Ramsey promo 1 - credit bluntassziggyImage via Ramsey

 
// Fix responsive height for YouTube