Yesterday's hot mess, Jackie Stallone Ivone Weldon, should take this photo on the right to her surgeon, point to her lips and say, "Do THAT."

Via Towleroad: "Taylor Lautner" sent this out to all of us loyal Twitter followers. Um...thank you! (Quotes are because it's not an official account so it's not Taylor. The photo's probably a 'Shop creation.)

UPDATE: With thanks to an eagle-eyed (or at least chicken-eyed) reader, the body from fake Taylor is confirmed as belonging to Renato Ferreira. Busted, Fake Taylor!

It gets worse.

The hot male cast of Newsies is on and in Next (March 30, 2012).

On a side note, this image from the musical is everywhere...and am I the only one who can see it's a PhotoShop disaster? The legs really don't quite match up to the torso if you remove the title treatment.

Star's special The Best, Worst & Most Shocking Plastic Surgery special says the above guy is the perfect man—a combination of Hollywood's best attributes. To see who makes up his features (and to see his female counterpart), keep reading...

Let's see if the originals ever leak (Steven Klein...we're still upset with you!), but here are four fresh photos from Madonna (the other two after the jump.

#1 is great, just too much retouching around the eyes that gives them a weird shape (of course the entire thing is 'Shopped till it dropped, but the rest I can go with). #2 is of course lovely. #3 is one I saw at the listening session—it looks like the cover of a pulp science fiction novel by Philip José Farmer or something.

Monique van Vooren

She's looking very Monique van Vooren. Never a bad thing.

#4 is horrible. Really ridiculously badly PhotoShopped. The jaw/face on the left is completely faked and her eye/eyelash seems to go back in an unnatural way. Embarrassing.

Album available for pre-sale here. "Girl Gone Wild" available here...

This model looks a bit like a black velvet painting, but the maker of his FU e=fu8 underwear is ready to sign a sworn affidavit that the retouching was merely for color and that the muscles are real.

Check out the incredibly cheap treatment Henry Cavill gets from Men's Health when a foreign edition recycles the American cover! More here.

Prove it!

As of midnight last night, it was exactly six years since my first post. It's been a tough thing to keep up with a dayjob and outside activities, and just when I think I might walk away, a valuable connection or interesting opportunity or a kind word comes my way. Thank you all for reading me.

Of whom are you more jealous?

Here are my favorite 100+ posts out of nearly 11,000. Please take some time to read (or re-read!) a couple and tweet or Facebook any you like.

xoxo Matt

The pocket pool championships were intense this year

BOY CULTURE

Boy-crazy

FROM BOY TO MAN: BC B.C. (2007): The entire history of my novell and novel Boy Culture as well as the movie version; might be my ultimate post.

Jonathon Trent & Derek Magyar make an Allan Brocka sandwich

BOY ON FILM (2006): An account of the NYC launch party for Boy Culture as it played the TriBeCa Film Fest.

I was left "Reeling" by the experience

FRIENDS AND "FAMILY" (2006): The movie version of Boy Culture hits Chicago.

No one would've mistaken me for Taylor Lautner

RAPT PUPIL (2006): The final night of Outfest with Boy Culture; I was fat but on the other hand got to meet Bryan Singer.

 

MY ART

 

Construction worker (shot this week) vs. James Dean

GUYDAR (since at least January 17, 2008) & ENDS OF THE WORLD (since at least January 13, 2008): Attractive men of the world—I got your backs. Your fronts, too.

i-i-i (phone)

Not totally built

Unaltered iPhone image that still blows me away

"Your pictures suck" (2008): An art critic attacks me, but not without sustaining some hits in return.

Let's call it a draw

DRAWN TOGETHER (2008): How my desire to draw related to my secret desire. One of my absolute favorite posts.

The shirtless one

LOST ANGELES (2009): My favorite photographic travelogue of L.A.

Even then, New Yorkers feared 9/11 was the beginning of the end

ART IMITATES LIFE (2006): My 9/11 and my distaste for grief tourism.

ME

Death of the party—Jeff in high school, already halfway through his life

BURNING MAN (2007): Tribute to my late high school friend and first romance.

Signed, sealed (eventually) delivered

LOST BOY FOUND (2011): There is a book in here somewhere.

Be Italian

CIAO HOUNDS: OUR TRIP TO ITALY (2011): Finally got José to Europe.

Death becomes here

ILLINOIS DEATH TRIP (2007): Ruminations on death while revisiting a past home, and the past.

Life is short...and meaningful

PASSING BY (2008): Mourning the loss of a person I only met once.

Lots more...

Amongst the recent leaks are these test shots from the D&G shoot. To me, they prove how fucking much better she looked with undone hair, less makeup and less PhotoShopping. I mean, she looks great in most of these. Large images to follow...