Ben Affleck attempts to laugh away the pray away the gay.

City Council Speaker announces bid for NYC mayor; would be first woman, first LGBT mayor

SHE LAUGHED, SHE CRIED: Christine Quinn is in. (But no mention of her wife???)

Oh, and by the way...so is Ashley Judd. (Probably.)

I don't know if he's blank-loathing, but I sure hate his guts.

Vince Sant's washboard abs.

TMZ to January Jones: "People think you're a homewrecker."

SNL hosts/alums welcome Timberlake to "Five-Timer's Club."

Rivers on lesbian kiss: "I'll do just about anything for ratings."

The contrived nature of the "selfie."

Homophobic "Harlem Shake" video from Jamaica.

DANCING IN THE SHEETS: In bed with Bowie & Jaggie.

Interview with I Want Your Love and Interior: Leather Bar director Travis Mathews.

An actor appears to contemplate documenting Val Lauren's Interior.

Anyone catch Justin Bieber on SNL? His acting was good. He's especially good when he's doing an over-the-top character, but is slightly hampered by this intense heartthrob "you know you want me" voice he seems unable to shake whenever he's playing himself or a lower-key character.

His singing was pretty terrible, raspy and overwrought. When he finished his final song, he looked ready to remove his own underwear and whiff it.

Along the way, he admitted to smoking marijuana and apologized for it, allowed his appearance to be mercilessly mocked (the typical lesbian/Ellen DeGeneres look-alike jokes were made), swore, took pictures of his dick with a cellphone and flashed his abs.

Oh, and as usual, the show around him was pretty excruciating.

Chris Christie took time out from post-Sandy clean-up management to do a short SNL segment. It wasn't actually funny, but it showed self-deprecation. I despise most of his views, but his approval rating must be 80% by now.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt on SNL, mocking Magic Mike as a means of showing off his bangin' body, was pretty successful.

Former SNL cast member Nora Dunn does her best Lorne Michaels impression (involving Madonna and Sean—Penn), then relates a hysterical Warren Beatty story.

Last Saturday, I spent half a day at The Hollywood Show, that clusterfuck of the ghosts of celebrity past and nostalgia present, of enduring superstars, of fandom for fandom's sake, that non-stop autoerotic cabaret of voyeurism and the art of the (paid) photo op.

Garry, Penny & Cindy—they did it their way

Met up with my sidekick Chexy bright and early and we wasted no time in wasting time; we got into a longish line for Penny Marshall, 68, arguably the #1 draw of the show. Penny's been sick for a long time and has a fortune stashed away, so I was shocked she'd agreed to do an event like this. Making it even more special, most of the rest of the creative folks behind Laverne & Shirley were there—brother Garry, Cindy Williams, David L. Lander, Eddie Mekka, Leslie Easterbrook and Carole Ita White. Michael McKean was unavailable, as he's starring in Gore Vidal's The Best Man on Broadway, but had shown up for the TV Land Awards, where the core four of the show reunited for what is undoubtedly the last time.

"I could be your cool cousin."

Luckily, the line moved quickly, and was even visited briefly at the beginning by an ingratiating Cindy. I'd prepurchased a four-shot of Penny/Cindy/Michael/David (Michael had signed 50 in advance of the show), so that put me among the first few to get the crew. Went up to Penny first. She was certainly nice considering she'd probably rather be just about anywhere else, and if you weren't expecting effusive warmth. I told her I found her to be the most relatable person on TV when I was a kid and that I wished she were my cool cousin or something. "I could be your cool cousin," she agreed, making sure everything was signed just how I wanted it. "Lot of people named Matt here today," she said aloud. I think the bluntness of my name amused her; she repeated it flatly: "MATT."

You know he'd go from rags to bitches...Eddie put Madonna in her place

I already had David, 64, from the last show, but he was with Eddie, 59, so we went up to both. David has slowed down a lot due to MS but Eddie was feisty; he was talking about Squiggy's cousin Squendolyn when I went up to him.

Leslie was mournful that she owns no stills like this

Any of you theater queens remember what show landed Eddie a Tony nom?

I told him I liked him in A League of Their Own and he said, "Thank you very much!" When I asked how it was working with Madonna, he said, "That you very much!" A wiseguy. Off camera, he confessed she'd been "a pain" throughout filming, but had grown to like him by the end when he abruptly called her a cunt.

After Eddie, I was kind of sucked into a vortex to get Cindy's autograph very quickly; other attendees were in a separate line, but my four-shot was still leading me in a special line that went first. Cindy, 64, was flustered but very Feeney-like in her attention to detail and exchanges of pleasantries. I would have asked her about American Graffiti (1973) or The First Nudie Musical (1976), but there wasn't really a good moment.

Booboo Kitty was nowhere to be seen

We had to return later for Garry, 77, who was hawking his new book and who was probably the most au courant, active person at the show in spite of his age. He was kinda funny, actually. I walked up with a nice vintage press photo I had—I love having unusual images for people to sign—and he said, "That's an old suit!" He smiles like someone's got a gun to his head, but was very nice.

I didn't mention The Other Sister (1999)

Was lucky enough to grab some video of Garry, Penny and Cindy posing for the wire services. There's still no love lost between the female leads; my pal Brian had tried to get Penny to sign a cursive "L" on her photo, but she refused because there was already one on the sweater she was wearing in it. When he told that to Cindy, she said, "Try doing the TV Land Awards with 'er!"

Garry's book apparently talks about how Laverne & Shirley was a total nightmare due to the girls' inability to handle the pressure and fame, and their head-butting.

Help me, Rhonda...help-help me, Rhonda

Leslie Easterbrook, 62, looks fantastic for an NRA member (it's painful for me to see physical beauty in those whose values I question). She was extremely nice, and coveted the photo I brought for her to sign ("I don't have any stills of me with anyone but David and Michael.") to the point where she replied, "You should!" when I said, "I feel bad that I didn't make you a copy." I'll have to send her one if I find another. 

Gotta love this!

She was also rather transparently annoyed (rightly so) that she and Carole Ita White were sort of shunned by the rest of the cast—they were in the corner and weren't even included later in the "full Laverne & Shirley cast" photo op I paid for. When that happened, I was able to be the very first person to pose with Penny/Cindy/David/Garry/Eddie. Chexy got priceless video of Penny tenderly brushing David's hair for him, ever the director (that's what Cindy's expression seemed to say) or maybe just being a good friend (that's what David's seemed to say).
Not into the "hunk" label? Say it ain't so, Joe!

After all of the Laverne & Shirley craziness, I went for heartthrob Joe Lando, who's only 50 and smokin' hot as always. He looked about as happy to be doing the show as a cat in a bath and his excitement level sank a few notches further when I told him he'd been a top vote-getter in a magazine I once did called Hollywood's Hottest Hunks.

Lucky bitch!

He did seem to enjoy the photo I brought, of him in the tub with his dog. "Oh, that's from People," he volunteered, signing his name and IDing the pooch as Rosie. Got a good picture with him, which I said was as good as we could do without a tub or a dog. Crickets.

Last night's SNL was interesting to me in that brand-new cast member Kate McKinnon was given a really plum sketch (albeit the last one of the night) with host Sofia Vergara (who's charming, but whose shtick is really getting old for me). I'm kinda sick and tired of Vergara always trotting out the accent humor, but the sketch—featuring McKinnon as Penelope Cruz and Vergara as herself, both reading lines of dramatically different complexity for a shampoo commercial—actually brought a new dimension to the accent issue and was by far the funniest of the night.

Click here for more, including some chatter about the gay sketch with Andy Samberg and Jason Sudeikis.

Congrats to Kate McKinnon, who will apparently join SNL in April as a new cast member. She will be the first out lesbian cast member. And as a major bonus—she's hilarious! I loved her on Big Gay Sketch Show.

Channing Tatum went through a period where he kind let himself go, but it looks like in preparation for Magic Mike he reeled himself back in and then some. Nice hair, too. See his SNL stripologue after the jump...