The hot men of Comic Con: Part 1

Was pleased to score a four-day pass to New York Comic Con, going yesterday for the first time. Surprisingly, I'd never been to the massive fan event. But in spite of the presence of celebrities at autograph tables, I was definitely a fish out of water—I enjoy sci fi and horror and fantasy as much as the next guy, but at the Javits Center, there are no next guys, just ultimate fanboys and fangirls. It's like being your high school's valedictorian, then arriving at Harvard and realizing you're not nearly as smart as your former neighbors thought.

So cute in their jammies-style outfits while awaiting Tom Felton

I started out at an AMC panel for Kevin Smith's show Comic Book Men, a reality show based in Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash comic book store in Jersey. Going into its second season, the show seems to have a lot of diehards in the Comic Con crowd—the auditorium was packed. Smith was his own moderator, funneling questions to series stars Walter Flanagan, Mike Zapcic, Bryan Johnson and Ming Chen.

Magic mics?

The mics didn't work, leading to an extended stand-up act by Smith that would've made Redd Foxx blush. But he blustered through and amidst his many charming ramblings was a long and passionate confirmation that he has shot his last movie. After Red State, he has one more (hockey) movie that's been filmed but not edited, then he is done.

He says he wants to make room "at the trough" for other filmmakers with more to say, and then joked about taking up so much space (he's really huge now, referencing his battle with Southwest, which wanted to charge him for two seats).

Not-so-Great, Scott!

Afterward, we walked around the show, and I settled into an ungodly-long line to get an autograph from Christopher Lloyd, 73, of Back to the Future fame. Everyone had solid lines, even the frequently available Adam West, 83, and Burt Ward, 67.  Sean Astin, 41, seemed popular. I'd wanted to get Nicholas Brendon, 41, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (cutie), but never saw him on the floor. Tom Felton's line was eternal. He must have knocked down $40,000.

It took over an hour (!) to get Lloyd, whose autograph—no personalizations—cost $50! I told him I am a Reverend Jim man, to which he replied, "Oh, that was..." before losing interest in his own answer. I asked if I could take a photo of him (not with—those cost and are not done at the table), and he looked toward his inattentive handler and said, "Yes..." but then never looked up at me again in spite of my positioning the camera and waiting. So I stepped aside and snapped a few when the next fans came up. Very anti-climactic, though I heard from fans I met later that he was really nice during his paid photo ops.

C'mon, I wanna Leia: Carrie Fisher greets fans

The only other star I had my heart set on was Carrie Fisher, who turns 56 this month. I asked a helper if it was too late to get her, and he said yes, that her line for autographs had been cut off and that her photo op was probably already filled. Undaunted, I went over and asked and found out I could totally still buy a photo-op ticket and for only $40, which I did. Killed another hour-plus waiting for her to finish every single autograph before doing a lightning round of photos.

I'm no Wookie when it comes to landing pic-withs

She was lovely and as chummy as could be within the space of three seconds! I came toward her and said, "Love Star Wars, but I'm here for your writing!" She loved that and thanked me and gave me (as she did everyone) a great hug for our photo. As we separated, I said, "And I hope your mom gets better soon." It had been announced while I was in L.A. that Debbie Reynolds, 80, had suffered some issue with medications and was forced to cancel appearances for months. Fisher said, "She's fine, a lot better—thank you." No hint that she was putting on a brave face, though she loves to put on that Olsen Twins pout for her pictures.

Style be seeing you...

Ran into cute Christopher Palu, 27, who is currently on Project Runway. He was sweet, though seemed a bit taken aback that along with a pic-with I wanted a picture of him. He told me he was just hanging out with friends, but Comic Con isn't really a hang-out...I am guessing someone he is pals with must be obsessed with the '60s Batman series or something. I'm sure he got lots of fashion inspirations...perhaps anti-inspirations.

The women seemed to be enjoying the "at Halloween, I can be a slut" mentality, hoisting tits and exposing ass wherever feasible.

In a bustier far, far away...

I walked around for hours taking photos of said women and of shockingly sexy boys and men in character costumes, 99% of which I could not ID. But it was nice being able to approach a shirtless stud and getting him to enthusiastically sell it to me while posing for a photo. I have to say I finally get the sexual appeal of dressing up in skintight superhero costumes. It's not only revealing (one guy's dick was just, like, so there), it shows that the person is playful and naughty. I am assuming most of the people in the hall left horny. Especially the half-human, half-unicorns.

Exposed to a whole new crowd

There is a huge vein of queerness in this world, perhaps informed by the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic craze—rainbows, colorful hair, little-girl outfits, sequins, glitter.

Batgurrrl

Going back today for another dose, and hope to get something out of Andrew Lincoln (The Walking Dead) and Tyler Posey (Teen Wolf), among others. But you never know who you'll see—I walked past Carey Mulligan backstage!