ABOVE: Huge gallery of sexy images from the evening!

I spent my Friday night at an awards ceremony for hookers.

The Hookies—already the eighth annual—is a glitzy affair soaked in ball sweat and freshly injected testosterone, tricked out in Andrew Christian jockstraps and seemingly every leather harness ever manufactured. Held across the street from me at The Out's BPM, the ceremony was preceded by a red carpet the size of a welcome mat...but unlike with hustlers, the small size made things all the more interesting.

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The first person of note I spotted was the indescribably adorable Duncan Black, who has become one of porn's most famous bottoms and who is also, apparently, a well-peopled escort based in NYC. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans with a gray vest and a studded harness and was happy to pose for photos on and off the carpet. I'm pushing for a shoot with him, but will have to tangle with Cocky Boys first. Mega-watt smile and sweet as pie. As host Leslie Jordan would note later, "Precious!"

Several too-naked-for-this-blog pixxx are at my Work Unfriendly Tumblr, including a great shot of Duncan showing off his pride and joy.

I sound gushy about Duncan but...hello!

Take it with a grin...

I'm Mr. Open-Minded, but it's hard to shake my Midwestern-prude DNA, because while politically I believe it's unconstitutional to make renting one's body illegal, I feel that at present, being in that line of work seems to be pretty damaging to a large percentage of those who punch that time card. So whenever I saw a guy like Duncan—again, so cute!—my judgy, or at least protective, side was thinking, "Don't do this!" But my horny side was thinking, "OMG, where is the ATM machine, because he would be worth being late on a mortgage payment or three."

Rafael, his cock and mr. Pam have a battle of the bulges.

Rafael Alencar made a spirited carpet appearance, showmancing with bisexual female gay-porn directrix mr. Pam, who was conducting interviews on the carpet. He wound up riding her after giving an interview, all the while grasping his giant bulge in a manner that would not pass for discreet. I was reminded of what some mothers say when their little boys can't stop holding their pee-pees: "It's not gonna fall off!" But I think Rafael clutching his family jewels was a bit like wearing an accent brooch—it definitely drew the eye southward.

Christopher Daniels, a total ho who's a total pro.

I'd love to Wolf that down!

Mr. Canada Eli Henry (I know...woof x 10) and Tommy Defendi

The porn version of the Wolf Pack—Austin and Tyler—cut impressive figures on the carpet, sporting tattoos, muscles and matchy-matchy basketball jerseys. Tyler happily lowered his pants for Austin to grope the wares out back as the cameras flashed. You know, just like always happens at the Tonys.

FUR SURE: Tony Orion with Alessio Romero

The only Tony I spotted was cute-hot Tony Orion, and he, too, bared his buns on the carpet while hanging with Drew Sumrok and Alessio Romero.

Jason Dottley lit up the carpet with his disco jacket.

KAAMIL HO-HO: Robbyne & mr. Pam share a laugh.

Delicious Killian James, who is the escorting biz's top bottom.

Leslie, pretending to be shocked

Host Leslie Jordan was being trailed for a reality project by the Lane Twins, whose Dolly Parton documentary was so satisfying. "That's so close!" Gary Lane said as I snapped him in the act. I think I did right by him, don't you?:

If all camermen were this cute, reality TV would make more sense.

Inside, the place was jammed with prostitutes, their entourages and the men who love to pay them. They were happy to pose for pictures. Whores can be such attention whores!

The men of The Adonis Lounge were not kidding around!

I ran into my buddy who runs The Adonis Lounge and got to meet his new dancer Gavin, a strapping Eric-Dane-but-darker body double. They were all in the VIP area (the guard spotted my wristband and gave me no hassle about getting in—first time ever!), along with stars like Christopher Daniels (2013's Best International Escort and a recent memoirist), who is a lean shag machine and who the night's biggest winner—Boomer Banks—would later identify as a guy who has easily accommodated his entire 11 inches.

15 minutes from the show...

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The show itself opened with a performance by Cazwell, whose "Rice and Beans" were delish, and whose "Selfie" was brought to life by pleasingly somnambulant, gyrating sluts.

The entire—you should pardon the expression—affair was emceed by Jordan, who opened with a story about paying his lunch money to a "hoodlum" classmate at age 13 in order to get the guy to submit to a BJ. (Read his book and/or see his show sometime to experience more of his past sexcapades.) It was sidebarred with an anecdote about shoes, making it the gayest story ever. With some assistance from Jamaican bombshell Shequida (who at one point was dressed in a naked body stocking complete with a pink gash), awards were handed out at lightning speed by presenters like extremely cute singer Jason Dottley (who is not for sale, but I put in an offer just to be safe), X-rated ginger James Jamesson and outrageous comedienne Robbyne Kaamil, whose churchified approach to big cock was...memorable. (And whose name was given to me misspelled so it's misspelled in the red-carpet video...it's her own fault for spelling her name that way!)

Tommy Defendi, whose Twitter profile directs you to his Amazon wish list

Seeing red with James Jamesson

Studly Will Wikle tries out a new look

Leslie gets a free gang-lapdance from the guys of The Adonis Lounge.

Leslie was "at a loss for words" when Adam Russo offered to be his daddy.

Boomer Banks took the night's "top" honor...Best International Escort.

Oddly, most of the winners accepted their awards without speeches, though we did get to see Duncan Black and Killian James flash their assets, and NYC's Banks, who walked away (on three legs) with Mr. International Escort, went all nude when his award capped off the night.

I asked if I could shoot him, but I think he was booked solid shooting on others.

Again, I loved Mr. Canada, Eli Henry, seen here with a couple of...friends.

Co-hostess Shequida knew she went too far—which was exactly where she wanted to go! No GPS required!

Complete list of winners—all of whom I congratulate:

Mr. International Escort: Boomer Banks (NYC)

Best Cock: Boomer Banks

Best Newcomer: Duncan Black

Best Ass: Duncan Black

Best Twink: Blake Stone

Best Top: Ty Roderick and Angel Rock

Best Body : Austin Wolf

Best Pornstar Escort; Tommy Defendi

Best Fetish: Leo Forte

Best Dressed: Leo Forte

Best Bear: Tony Orion

Best Daddy: Adam Russo

Best Personal Escort Site: Tyson Tyler

Best Boyfriend Fantasy: Blue Bailey

AROUND THE WORLD: All the Best International Escort nominees who were there.

Love for sale rent.

So do you think Rentboy.com's awards show for hookers is a fun idea and sex-positive, or do you think we oughtta be ashamed of ourselves for glorifying the world's oldest, and longest-maligned, profession?

Tell a person in the comments below...