When I first, first started getting into pursuing celebs for autographs, and before I cooled on it for decades, I heard Brooke Shields was making an appearance at Marshall Field's to promote something truly ridiculous in the women's department, and I knew I had to go. Unlike my experiences with Elizabeth Taylor and Cher—both of whom had spoken from a stage to a crowd of hundreds, both of whom I'd been able to ask questions of—I would actually get to meet Brooke.

When I thought of Brooke Shields, I thought of Pretty Baby, Blue Lagoon and Calvin Klein. I figured presenting her with a photo of her hairless gotch would result in an arrest, I had no Blue Lagoon materials on me and I was perplexed about how to work in the CK reference. Then I remembered her blunt anti-smoking commercial, and I knew I had to have her sign a book of matches. Why not? I'd mailed Sally Field a pocket Bible to sign in honor of The Flying Nun.

She was really nice and signed the matches and a poster, making me feel I was not a “real loser.”