Ian:

Hillary Clinton is a woman.

Friends is cancelled.

Those people in the 666-6666 commercials are lip-synching.

Ronald Reagan is very sick.

LOL means laughing out loud.

Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are ... brother and sister.

Brad and Jen broke up, as did Bennifer (all of them).

Oprah Winfrey is rather well-off.

Corporations are citizens.

Kanye West is a little on the self-absorbed side.

Romney lost.

Cats closed.

The check isn't in the mail. It isn't even written.

And, in fact, Ronald Reagan is dead. RIP.

And yes, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) is virulently anti-gay, and has said as much nearly every time he's been anywhere near a mic.