A Lammy? We're aiming for the National Book Award! (All images in this post courtesy of Matthew Rettenmund)

Uncharacteristically, I haven't written about my recent quick trip to L.A. to promote the book I wrote with Alaska Thunderf*ck (or Thunderfun, as she is called  for the sake of marketing the book to people still living at home). For some reason, I kept putting other stuff in front of writing this up, maybe because it wound up being an unexpectedly warm-and-fuzzy (if frantic and fleeting) event.

I went out two weekends ago—business class. I've never been in business class, so far as I remember, and found it ultra-comfortable and immediately took it on as my new normal, so that when I fly coach next time it will feel like being evicted from a gated community.

I'd planned to work from the plane, but the WiFi was out, meaning I did nothing but sleep. I wasn't sure what I was doing as far as promo for the book—Alaska Thunderfun and the Inner Space Odyssey—so being well-rested was a step (in a high-heeled shoe) in the right direction.

Working with Alaska had been a breeze. She has an insanely fun creation story that involves intergalactic gender-bending and the early '80s, and she knew pretty much what she wanted me to do, so I simply did it and she offered her input where needed and it was finished. I think it wound up being pretty funny and hopefully will surprise people with its mission of gender fluidity. I think of it as a Choose Your Own Gender book, or like Goosebumps with lovely lady lumps.

Jiggy Caliente was on hand to interview the ladies who launch

I stayed in Little Tokyo, which meant I was sick of Japanese food—which I love!—within two meals, but since I was working all day from 5 a.m. to 3 p.m., that really only left me time to eat at offbeat times and squeeze in a couple of meetings with friends I hadn't seen in forever and, of course, to explore my popularity as a new face on the locals' Grindr feeds.

Again, I must thank the parents who continue to raise their young men to have no morals at all.

Glamtr0n philly

The event itself was a lot of fun, once I had a solid handle on what was expected. It was celebrating the opening of the first all-drag retail store at Arts District Co-Op (453 Colyton St., L.A.), where the merch of such drag luminaries as Jinkx Monsoon, Adore Delano, Sharon Needles and—of course—Alaska would be on sale. The space was chic, beautifully designed and 100% conducive to lots of impulse-buying. I was eyeing some Violet Chachki wear, and I'm not even a big fan!

With Allan, who co-adapted and directed the movie version of Boy Culture

It was especially nice to be supported by my friends Ivan and Allan, who really helped calm me down when it appeared I'd have to do something, anything embarrassing onstage.

The event had been kept limited and required an RSVP from diehard fans, who dutifully showed up and crowded the stage, cellphones aloft. Cute crowd of young people on their own paths, to whom these Ru queens obviously speak.

With Michael Thomas Ford

I met up with fellow author Michael Thomas Ford, whom I've known from a distance for a long while. He is a fellow drag author, having written Sharon Needles and the Curse of the Devil's Deck. I was apprehensive about what I'd be doing, and he was actually arriving straight from an early-morning flight so was even more scattered. But in the spacious offices of Producer Entertainment Group, the event's producer just directed us to chat with our queen and figure out what our brief moment onstage would be. The ladies—Sharon, Alaska, Jinkx and Adore—were all singing, and Michael and I would come out after our co-authors had sung so each could intro us and then launch into a reading.

They Jinkxed it!

I stood as Alaska sprawled on a mattress (my publisher assured me a bed was not a typical part of his office) in her bra and panties and told me she just wanted to wing it, choosing which part of the book to read at random. She is 100% confident like that, confident in her ability to sell it and in the universe's likelihood of tossing her something she could work with. I would have had it more planned out, but her chill attitude put me at ease entirely.

Watching the girls get ready, from boy to lady and all the contouring and padding and godly work necessary to transform them was eye-opening. You really get a sense of the art of drag when you watch it from a blank canvas on up. Got to chat with all the girls and with Jinkx's Major Scales, her invaluable pianist. Also chatted with a hot videographer and all the others involved in setting up what wound up being a sweet, well-received happening.

The audience for these drag queens is mostly young and female—who'd've ever guessed this 20 years ago?

During the event, the girls sang—unplugged—and joked with the crowd, never more than arm's length away, yet the audience was so respectful of their personal space. When it was my turn, Yahoo! Music's Lyndsey Parker brought up our book and I walked out to greet Alaska, who owned the stage in a way I found daunting. She knows what she's doing when people are looking at her, that is for sure.

“Well, give it up for Matthew, everybody!”

Basking in Alaska's praise

The amazing thing was Alaska gave all credit to me, which had me deflecting and underscoring how much of her is in the book. But I've never had that happen before—no ego at all, just praise for me. I could only offer free copies of our book to the most helpful front-row fans before Alaska—asking for a pair of reading glasses—did a short but mesmerizing reading from a passage chosen at random by a fan. She'd been right!

Everyone sang live.

This looks very Single White “Female,” but really, it was sweet how the queens would watch each other from the wings.

Alaska's reading was FUH-LAW-LESS.

After that, we left, but it was such a thrill to share a stage with Alaska Thunderf*ck, and not something I ever dreamed I'd be doing at this point in my life.

There as WiFi on the flight back, but I never knew it; I was dreaming of intergalactic goddesses with giant hearts and labial necklaces.

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