This is why Howard Dean should never apologize! (Image via Twitter)

Donald Trump—up at 3 in the morning—tweeted in a white rage (literally) about his foe Alicia Machado, the Miss Universe he demonstrably fat-shamed and humilliated.

Presumably ticked off that her attacks against him are working, Trump made up some new lies, including that Machado has a sex tape (she doesn't, but so what if she did?), that Hillary helped her become a citizen, that Hillary presented Machado as an angel and that Hillary was duped by Machado.

All demonstrably false.

Also, all of the stuff Trump finds so appalling about Machado happened after he made her feel like shit for gaining what he calls 60 pounds (look at the images, it was maybe more like 20), so they have no relevance.

Finally, if we're going to talk about vetting surrogates, I've got two words for Trump: Don King.