Above: When you're jealous of a block of ice.
Below: Keep reading for the hottest links of the day ...
His best days are ahead of him, his best gaze behind ... (Video still via KIT212)
KENNETH IN THE (212): First things first — Joey Mantia's butt deserved a gold medal.
All of him, why not take all of him ... (Image via MTV)
OMG BLOG (WORK UNFRIENDLY): Sean Pratt from MTV's Ex on the Beach goes full-monty!
Jeff is so fly ... (GIF via GIPHY)
GAY FLESHBOT (WORK UNFRIENDLY): If you''ve long had an unquenched thirst for Jeff Goldblum, be ashamed no more and feel not alone.
A Bund book (Video still via Last Week Tonight)
DLISTED: John Oliver's spoof of the Pence family's book about their rabbit Marlon Bundo (a Pence rabbit named for a queer guy?!) is outselling the book it's mocking — and the $$$ is going to the Trevor Project and to an AIDS charity. Number-one on Amazon, baby! Interestingly, Pence's daughter — who co-wrote the original book with her mom — has endorsed Oliver's project.
TOWLEROAD: David Mixner's latest column rounds up Trump's various assaults on science, comparing him and his supporters to the book burners.
Harrison found acceptance in the truth. (Image via Harrison Knowlon/Outsports)
OUTSPORTS: Runner Harris Knowlton came out to his fellow runners at college by chatting with them about his BF.
Patrick Wayne's world (Image via movie still)
POSEIDON'S UNDERWORLD: A long, leering look at Patrick Wayne.
QUEERTY: Only two out performers hired by SNL since its inception, but Alec Baldwin says closet cases count.
Double feet-ure (Image via Instagram)
TMZ: Aubrey O'Day did not one but two songs about her affair with Donald Trump Jr., including one called DJT, but nobody noticed because she's so beneath notice. She even apparently posted an image of Jr.'s bony feet covering hers, which DailyMail.com has compared with known pics of Jr.'s hooves to come up with a positive ID.
Pete Howell didn't think it was fair to require players to prove they were undergoing SRS (Image via CBC)
CBC: An Edmonton softball coach mouthed off about his amateur league's rules on trans players — and it's sparked policy reviews across Canada.
POLITICO: A potential Southern Democrat for POTUS 2020 — Mitch Landrieu.
WAPO: Could Jon Riley, missing in Toronto since 2013, be yet another of Bruce McArthur's victims?