ABOVE: If you've seen Velvet Buzzsaw, you'll feel me. (Now follow me.)

BELOW: Keep reading for what Armie's selling, hirsuit hottie, Mueller Report drama and more ...

My little Brioni (Image via Brioni)

KENNETH IN THE (212): Kenneth is buying what Armie Hammer is selling. But the line is over THERE, hunty.

HUFF POST: Surprise! Some of Mueller's team are expressing dismay at the way in which Barr has framed Mueller's work.

TOWLEROAD: Rep. Tim Ryan (D-Ohio) is throwing his hat into the 2020 ring, too. He's Biden-esque in his politics and blue-collar appeal. He gives Biden a pass on the touching kerfuffle, but also isn't blowing off Mueller in the way Gabbard did.

WAPO: “A black woman was beaten by a white man with a gun. Police charged her with damaging his truck.”

GR8ERDAYS: Alec Baldwin, a birthday boy this week, used to be the poster boy for hirsuit hotness. I will always like that version more than the angry version, the Trump version and/or even the 30 Rock version. I think he phones in all of his performances lately, honestly. But you can't fake chest hair.

NYT: Mormons will allow kids of LGBTQ parents to be baptized.

YOUTUBE: Céline Dion announces world tour with dorktastic, dragtastic video:

POLITICO: Please do not be a #NeverBernie person. One positive aspect of him — he is viewed globally as a figure against right-wing populism.

CBS NEWS: I don't think Felicity Huffman deserves to be imprisoned. I'm less convinced on Lori Loughlin, since her involvement (allegedly) was far greater and involved a larger amount of money. But they did probably break some laws and should face punishment. Fandom is a strange thing, though — these fans losing their shit at seeing Loughlin heading into court are probably real, but could also be bad fakes — that is how fandom can get, it can be embarrassingly blinding:

"I'm gonna literally vomit!" Two young fans lost their minds when they saw Lori Loughlin heading into a Boston courthouse to face federal charges for the college admissions scheme https://t.co/0bDFCR0LNM pic.twitter.com/ZxIXTGRTAu

— CBS News (@CBSNews) April 3, 2019

IAMOUT.ORG: The OUT Foundation is awarding scholarships to LGBTQ+ young adults for year-long gym memberships. Free CrossFit, baby!

He's a virgin. I hope he's like those girls who don't think anal counts. (Image via ABC)

OMG BLOG (WORK UNFRIENDLY): The Bachelor's stubborn virgin (wonder why?) Colton Underwood thinks having a period is the same as shitting your pants, doesn't re-use underwear.

TRUE CRIME DAILY: Frat brothers get jail time in infamous hazing-death case.

Timothy Piazza, who died after a night of binge-drinking (Image via True Crime Daily)