ABOVE: Up your nose with a rubber hose.
BELOW: Alex Pettyfer's butt and a buncha other stuff ...
KENNETH IN THE (212): Alex Pettyfer's plump ass is well and truly pantsed.
OUT: Love, Simon is coming to TV on Disney+
THE HILL: Top Dems are demanding A.G. Barr recant his claim that the Trump campaign was spied upon.
NYT: Being gay in the U.S. military — a nightmare story.
DAILY KOS: Maxine Waters reclaims her time and smacks down an insolent Mnuchin, who thinks that little hammer is a “gravel.”
MOTHER JONES: Jurors in a murder trial decided the gay defendant would enjoy prison — because what gay man wouldn't want to be raped forever? — so they sentenced him to death to keep him from bliss. No, really — they did.
NYT: Crazy-Christian rugby star losing his contract over homophobic social-media posts.
.@RepKatiePorter outlined the budget of a single mother who works as a Chase bank teller, and asked JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon for solutions for the mother's over-$500 shortfall.— TicToc by Bloomberg (@tictoc) April 10, 2019
Dimon did not have a response pic.twitter.com/pYp6VfuZ3l
TWITTER: Above, Rep. Katie Porter (D-California) roasted JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon by asking him to explain how a starting Chase employee can possibly live on what he pays her.
WONKETTE: The 36-count indictment against Michael Avenatti is breathtaking, including stealing from a paraplegic client.
PEOPLE: Not long after declaring she'd never get divorced, Wendy Williams is getting divorced.
THE NEW YORKER: Bret Easton Ellis continues to be one of the most annoying gay opinionistas ever, downplaying (and at least accepting) Trump's racism, saying the left overreacts to Trump, calling Michelle Obama condescending for saying, “When they go low, we go high.”
EW: Out gay man with cerebral palsy lands Netflix series.