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Dec 23 2019
Hairy Judd + Gay Terrorist + Saudi Sell-Outs + No Substitute For Parents Who Care + Madonna's BF's Parents Are Cool With It + CATS Disaster + MORE! — 12-PACK Comments (0)

ABOVE: Oh, my nose!!!

BELOW: Hairy Judd, gay terrorist, substitute teacher from hell and more ...

9-1Pretty McFly for a white guy (GIF via GIPHY)

ATTITUDE: If you're not British and you have not heard of McFly, you won't know Harry Judd. So get British and hear about McFly, because you will want to know Harry Judd. Biblically.

TOWLEROAD: Fifty-year-old Ralph Perkins, a registered sex offender who was reportedly battling stomach cancer and depression, threatened to annihilate Tampa's gay community; he was arrested. What caused his outrage? A Grindr rejection. That's called swiping right into prison.

KTLA: Five people have been sentenced to death for the brutal murder of Jamal Khashoggi. None of them wearing a crown.

PAGE SIX: Disappointing that celebs and influencers are so willing to take $$$ from Saudi Arabia to rehab its image.

NYP: Daniel Van Amstel, 11, was berated by his fifth-grade teacher for having gay dads. The teacher was fired, and the spunky kid says she had it comin', in true Chicago style:

It's so nice to hear his classmates stuck up for him, and to hear Daniel sticking up for what's right.

JOE.MY.GOD.: Trump announced he is confounded by wind during a speech to young conservatives. His widely shared quote:

I never understood wind. I know windmills very much, I have studied it better than anybody. I know it is very expensive. They are made in China and Germany mostly, very few made here, almost none, but they are manufactured, tremendous — if you are into this — tremendous fumes and gases are spewing into the atmosphere. You know we have a world, right?

So the world is tiny compared to the universe. So tremendous, tremendous amount of fumes and everything. You talk about the carbon footprint, fumes are spewing into the air, right spewing, whether it is China or Germany, is going into the air.

A windmill will kill many bald eagles. After a certain number, they make you turn the windmill off, that is true. By the way, they make you turn it off. And yet, if you killed one, they put you in jail. That is OK. But why is it OK for windmills to destroy the bird population?

There are people who support this person.

NYT: Actual questions for teachers arriving in Indonesia to teach kids:

Agree or disagree: “I would feel uncomfortable knowing my daughter’s or son’s teacher was homosexual.”

True or false: “The gender composition of an orgy would be irrelevant to my decision to participate.”

WGN: I'm not a huge Eddie Murphy fan — his stand-up jokes about AIDS were really detrimental, and those shows are still available to “enjoy.” That said, he has apologized more than once, and in more than one decade, and I believe there are bigger fish to fry. He was solid on SNL, but I wasn't blown away. He relied on nostalgia too much. The one that worked the best was Gumby, but I was also annoyed Murphy kept breaking character. Still, he is Oscar-worthy (nomination-wise) in Dolemite Is My Name, and I definitely liked his zinger on SNL about Bill Cosby, who was always so smug and judgmental toward black figures he felt were stereotypical or too racy. Now, Team Cosby is firing back, and it is ugly and racial. I think the better man won this time.

GR8ERDAYS (FOLLOWS HERE): Long-forgotten kid star who became a stunt man had some really interesting career highlights — a voice in Pinocchio, a spin inside Robbie the Robot, some early-TV drag.

YAHOO!: Madonna seems to be settling in with her young boyfriend Ahlamalik Williams. Despite their 36-year age gap, she has met and charmed his parents, who — okay, this is probably not going to make her happy — have chatted with the tabloid media to say they approve of the union. Meanwhile, she canceled her final U.S. Madame X Tour show in Miami last night, and did it last-second, pissing off fans again. I'm wondering if the European leg is as shaky as her own; she has battled an injury (and a lingering cold/sinus infection) and other issues this go 'round. Hey, she's been on for 40 years with no breaks; she was due for a run of bad luck. Hoping she regroups.

BROADWAY WORLD: These guys are super talented. Check out this pitch:

THE VERGE: So the version of Cats that was Screen_Shot_2019_07_18_at_4.16.52_PM.0.pngbombing in U.S. theatres until Sunday is different from the one you would see if you were one of the few to go see it now. Insanely, the movie's release was so rushed, its director, Tom Hooper, had to submit a revamped version (with improved effects) for theaters to swap out. An example of a fix: Judi Dench's human hand and wedding ring was clearly visible in the earlier version! In the digital age, this swap-out wasn't as disastrous as the movie, but it's quite strange; reminds me of how early Hollywood films would get a release, the studio would yank them and lop off reels, and they'd go back into release and into the public record.