ABOVE: Steve Grand is selling underwear, and a visit to his site gets you full-moon savings.
OMG.BLOG! (WORK UNFRIENDLY): This Soltos Em Floripa star gets totally nude at the link.
CNN: Bernie had multiple chats with Obama before his decision to suspend.
YOUTUBE: Nora Dunn's Linda Tripp left John Goodman's in the dust. Sad to remember how Roseanne used to be when she wasn't a delusional cunt.
GAILY GRIND: Trump claims Ivanka has created 15 million jobs.
TWITTER: Lizard woman Melania Trump lends ice-cold video of support to COVID-19 efforts. There's no way this bitch speaks five languages.
POLITICO: Trump says it's A-okay for frontline workers exposed to COVID-19 to rush back to work much sooner than previously advised. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200, do stop in a packed church at Easter.
TOWLEROAD: Meth's a helluva drug! Joe Exotic's throuple wedding video surfaces. All of it.
THE HILL: The night the lights went out on Dennis Quaid — turns out he's as stupid and crazy as his lunatic brother, Randy.
DLISTED: Justin Trudeau said a word that people find icky. I mean, I'll never get why this word turns people's stomachs, but okay.
GAY FLESHBOT (WORK UNFRIENDLY): Dyllon Burnside of Pose is young and hot, as a new IG post confirms. But seriously, 31? He's playing far younger without it even seeming like an issue. Get me those creams!
EXTRATV: Meryl Streep's daughter Grace Gummer was secretly married for all of about two months. Didn't take.
SOUNDCLOUD: Killer Madonna mix that includes “Up Down Suite”? Yes, please.