ABOVE: Signed, unsealed, delivered — he could be yours.
TWITTER: Ben Wierda is the nephew of Betsy DeVos and the son-in-law of Kathie Lee Gifford, so that probably means he leans right. But his dick leans left, as we all saw on Family Feud the other evenin'.
BACK2STONEWALL: The first U.S. lesbian wedding happened on September 28 ... 1877.
HUFF POST: Hours before the first (and please, God, make it somehow be the only) presidential debate, both Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have released their full 2019 taxes. Biden and his wife Jill paid $299,346 in taxes (after a $46,858 refund) on $944,737 income, while Kamala and her husband Douglas Emhoff paid $1,185,628 in taxes on $3 million in income. Trump hasn't paid taxes in years; all we know for sure is the billionaire paid $750 in 2017. Even Ann Coulter thinks the system is rigged, and that Democrats should un-rig it.
NYDN: Batshit-crazy Rudy Giuliani flat out says Biden has dementia. Remember when, in 2016, Hillary Clinton was dying/had Parkinson's disease?
DAILY MAIL: Suicidal Brad Parscale is now involuntarily committed to a hospital, and is being investigated for possibly stealing as much as $40M from Trump and $10M from the RNC. Only the best people!
POLITICO: This Georgia poll is nectar, showing Biden edging Trump in the state 50-47. Still, it's a shame the Senate races, while also close, show odious Sen. David Perdue 1 up on Jon Ossoff, and Raphael Warnock leading, but in a jungle primary that could resolve with a Republican attracting more votes.
KENNETH IN THE (212): Happy debate night! I want to check his thighs for ear devices. (P.S. Seriously, though, Biden's team bought the Twitter account @truth to punch back at Trump's inevitable lies in real time — follow here!
NYT: Mark Burnett gave us President Trump — period.
RAW STORY: Wilbur Ross, defying a federal judge, will end the Census early any-hoo.
DAILY BEAST: NeNe Leakes called Andy Cohen a racist and trashed Wendy Williams as a cokehead with enormous legs.
O... MG pic.twitter.com/0cnbaYICQI— Ξvan Ross Katz (@evanrosskatz) September 29, 2020
INSTAGRAM: Hard to believe but Madeline Kahn — dead over 20 years — would be turning 78 today.