I love Jerrod Carmichael and was rooting for him as the unlikely host of the Golden Globes, but I fear my impression matches that of most viewers I've seen venting on social media — he died up there.
The out gay host kicked things off by chastising the Globes — which were returning after a year off due to having been exposed as a demonstrably racist organization — which was expected and welcome. However, his characteristically low-key, stilted delivery did not gel with expectations of an award-show host, leaving him seeming like he was floundering.
It didn't help that he told the audience to be quiet multiple times, lending to the impression he could not hold the room's attention.
Lowlights include dad jokes about Will Smith (Eddie Murphy's later joke about Smith was itself extremely dated) and Kanye West, but probably his biggest swing was pointing out that Tom Cruise's Globes (the actor returned them at the height of criticism over the Globes) could be traded for the safe return of Shelly Miscavige. Anti-Scientologists are aware this was a reference to the cult's leader's missing wife. Miscavige hasn't been seen since 2007. Too bad Carmichael bungled her name and sounded so unsure of his zinger.
Carmichael did, however, look snazzy. Great looks throughout.
As for the winners, the show was mostly filled with easy-to-predict winners ... until it wasn't. I was shocked House of the Dragon won for TV drama; that Argentina, 1985 bested RRR, All Quiet on the Western Front and Decision to Leave in the non-English language film category; and the biggest eye-opener of all, The Fabelmans taking drama motion picture. In a way, it makes sense that the Globes would avoid rewarding Cruise's Top Gun: Maverick, but what about Elvis? That montage with a good perf in the middle of it seemed tailor-made for GG-lory.
As for the speeches, you gotta love Jennifer Coolidge and Michelle Yeoh and Angela Bassett. Perfection.
Full list of winners — how many have you seen?:
Best Motion Picture — Drama Avatar: The Way of Water Elvis The FabelmansWINNER Tár Top Gun: Maverick
Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama Cate Blanchett, TárWINNER Olivia Colman, Empire of Light Viola Davis, The Woman King Ana de Armas, Blonde Michelle Williams, The Fabelmans
Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama Austin Butler, Elvis WINNER Brendan Fraser, The Whale Hugh Jackman, The Son Bill Nighy, Living Jeremy Pope, The Inspection
Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy Babylon The Banshees of InisherinWINNER Everything Everywhere All at Once Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery Triangle of Sadness
Actress in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy Lesley Manville, Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris Margot Robbie, Babylon Anya Taylor-Joy, The Menu Emma Thompson, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All at OnceWINNER
Actor in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy Diego Calva, Babylon Daniel Craig, Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery Adam Driver, White Noise Colin Farrell, The Banshees of InisherinWINNER Ralph Fiennes, The Menu
Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture Angela Bassett, Black Panther: Wakanda ForeverWINNER Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin Jamie Lee Curtis, Everything Everywhere All at Once Dolly de Leon, Triangle of Sadness Carey Mulligan, She Said
Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture Brendan Gleeson, The Banshees of Inisherin Barry Keoghan, The Banshees of Inisherin Brad Pitt, Babylon Ke Huy Quan, Everything Everywhere All at OnceWINNER Eddie Redmayne, The Good Nurse
Director — Motion Picture James Cameron, Avatar: The Way of Water Daniel Kwan, Daniel Scheinert, Everything Everywhere All at Once Baz Luhrmann, Elvis Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin Steven Spielberg, The FabelmansWINNER
Screenplay — Motion Picture Todd Field, Tár Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, Everything Everywhere All at Once Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of InisherinWINNER Sarah Polley, Women Talking Steven Spielberg and Tony Kushner, The Fabelmans
Original Score — Motion Picture Carter Burwell, The Banshees of Inisherin Alexandre Desplat, Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio Hildur Guðnadóttir, Women Talking Justin Hurwitz, BabylonWINNER John Williams, The Fabelmans
Original Song — Motion Picture “Carolina” by Taylor Swift (Where the Crawdads Sing) “Ciao Papa” by Alexandre Desplat, Roeban Katz, Guillermo del Toro (Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio) “Hold My Hand” by Lady Gaga and Bloodpop (Top Gun: Maverick) “Lift Me Up” by Tems, Ludwig Göransson, Rihanna and Ryan Coogler (Black Panther: Wakanda Forever) “Naatu Naatu” by M.M. Keeravani, Chandrabose (RRR) WINNER
Motion Picture — Animated Guillermo del Toro’s PinocchioWINNER Inu-Oh Marcel the Shell with Shoes On Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Turning Red
Best Picture — Non-English Language All Quiet on the Western Front Argentina, 1985 WINNER Close Decision to Leave RRR
Best Television Series — Drama Better Call Saul The Crown House of the DragonWINNER Ozark Severance
Actress in a Television Series — Drama Emma D’Arcy, House of the Dragon Laura Linney, Ozark Imelda Staunton, The Crown Hilary Swank, Alaska Daily Zendaya, EuphoriaWINNER
Actor in a Television Series, Drama Jeff Bridges, The Old Man Kevin Costner, YellowstoneWINNER Diego Luna, Andor Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul Adam Scott, Severance
Best Musical/Comedy Series Abbott Elementary WINNER The Bear Hacks Only Murders in the Building Wednesday
Television Actress — Musical/Comedy Series Quinta Brunson, Abbott Elementary WINNER Kaley Cuoco, The Flight Attendant Selena Gomez, Only Murders in the Building Jenna Ortega, Wednesday Jean Smart, Hacks
Television Actor — Musical/Comedy Series Donald Glover, Atlanta Bill Hader, Barry Steve Martin, Only Murders in the Building Martin Short, Only Murders in the Building Jeremy Allen White, The Bear WINNER
Supporting Actress — Musical-Comedy or Drama Television Series Elizabeth Debicki, The Crown Hannah Einbinder, Hacks Julia Garner, OzarkWINNER Janelle James, Abbott Elementary Sheryl Lee Ralph, Abbott Elementary
Supporting Actor — Musical-Comedy or Drama Television Series John Lithgow, The Old Man Jonathan Pryce, The Crown John Turturro, Severance Tyler James Williams, Abbott ElementaryWINNER Henry Winkler, Barry
Best Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Black Bird Dahmer — Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story The Dropout Pam and Tommy The White Lotus WINNER
Actress in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Jessica Chastain, George & Tammy Julia Garner, Inventing Anna Lily James, Pam and Tommy Julia Roberts, Gaslit Amanda Seyfried, The DropoutWINNER
Actor in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or Television Motion Picture Taron Egerton, Black Bird Colin Firth, The Staircase Andrew Garfield, Under the Banner of Heaven Evan Peters, Dahmer — Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer StoryWINNER Sebastian Stan, Pam & Tommy
Supporting Actress in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Jennifer Coolidge, The White LotusWINNER Claire Danes, Fleishman Is in Trouble Daisy Edgar-Jones, Under the Banner of Heaven Niecy Nash, Dahmer — Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story Aubrey Plaza, The White Lotus
Supporting Actor in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made for Television F. Murray Abraham, The White Lotus Domhnall Gleeson, The Patient Paul Walter Hauser, Black BirdWINNER Richard Jenkins, Dahmer — Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story Seth Rogen, Pam & Tommy