ABOVE: Happy bulge-day!

BELOW: Keep reading for David Geffen's weddin bells, Ryan Raftery taking on the mother of all mothers, J. Crew (if you're nasty) and more ...

He put a cock ring on it. (Images via social media)

STR8UPGAYPORN: Multi-billionaire David Geffen has married a former Randy Blue gay-porn actor.

Cover uncovered (Image via J.Crew)

KENNETH IN THE (212): Flip through this and give yourself a J. Crew-job.

Frauds of a feather (Image via social media — an account now suspended)

NBC NEWS: Chinese billionaire Miles Guo was arrested for an alleged $1B fraud scheme. He is palsy-walsy with Steve Bannon and Rudy Giuliani and, of course, is situated amidst the Hunter Biden laptop scheme.

AUTOSTRADDLE: Autostraddle needs some cash to keep going. (Me, too! I didn't know we could just ask for $175K. Please send me that! Kidding — AS is an invaluable site.)

Agent provocateuse (Image via Joe's Pub)

JOE'S PUB: For just EIGHT performances, Ryan Raftery will conjure Kris Jenner in the musical fable Mother of the Year.

JOE.MY.GOD.: Kirk Cameron, Riley Gaines and Missy Robertson (Duck Dynasty) held a story hour in Tennessee, after which Cameron accused the library of being rude to him. That led to the librarian being FIRED, a deluge of threats and a bomb threat. Christianity in action.

Libertarian jailbird (Image via Joe Exotic 2024)

JOE EXOTIC: That (attempted-) murderous gay buffoon Joe Exotic is running for POTUS from prison as a Libertarian.

MEN'S HEALTH: Diplo has received head from a guy or two or ???, but doesn't consider that gay. I agree with him. You can experiment and not be gay or even bisexual. It's about what you really want, not what you'll try. But it also sounds like he's a bit beyond that, saying he doesn't want to label himself. I guess one of those dudes sucked the straight right out of that dick. (BTW Bobby Lee admits when he's drunk, he kisses pee-pees.)

OMG.BLOG!: London's BFI Flare LGBTQ film fest is back!

HUFF POST: One step closer to a direct conflict with Russia. Meanwhile, is Putin genuinely worried about his own personal safety?

TWITTER: Ukraine IS an important part of world security, and IS a part of U.S. security. VP Harris understands that in a way that Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) of Florida most certainly does not:

.@VP Kamala Harris shares her thoughts on Gov. Ron DeSantis calling the war in Ukraine a “territorial dispute.” #Colbert pic.twitter.com/ig1vPFEXRI

— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) March 16, 2023

TWITTER: These U.S. fascists are firmly AGAINST ... empathy:

Mom’s for Liberty is protesting children learning EMPATHY. pic.twitter.com/kSFw6B9BIp

— Walter Masterson (@waltermasterson) March 16, 2023