The naked truth — the show always ends up aces. (All images by Matthew Rettenmund)
NOTE: If you recognize anyone I should name, and/or if you were in the show and wonder if I have photos to share, hit me up.
Another Pride Month, another installment of Broadway Bares — this one the 32nd.
The program and — for the first time ever — the full, untorn ticket they let us keep
The stage was set. The set was a stage.
Keep reading for the story on this naked Elvis.
The show, directed by Kellen Stancil, had all the usual verve, clever song choices and revealing reveals, all as part of a Vegas theme. Yes, Broadway Bares: Hit the Strip hit all its marks, even if a raunchy parody of the Rat Pack called the Six-Pack was one I had prayed for, only to have my hopes dashed.
Jelani's first jam
Green room
Shaking a heads-or-tails feather
We need a sequel: Showboys.
The cheerful opening number, an original song with music by Lynne Shankel and lyrics by Amanda Green and a spirited performance by Jelani Remy (Back to the Future: The Musical), set up the Vegas theme admirably.
Laddie Locky
It also offered a bevy of beauties as backing, including previous Bares standout Locky Brownlie.
Hit the Strip wound up as a sort of gay Hangover, established in interstitial skits in which three guys support a friend who's in Sin City for a gay wedding.
The naif is Jay Johnson, and his pals are Constantine Rousouli, previously known as the big-butted guy from AJ and the Queen and now riding high as a co-creator of the runaway hit Titanique; Johnny Sibilly of Pose and Hacks; and Remy.
They did it for ... Johnny. Johnny? Who's Johnny? (Johnny Sibilly, silly.)
Nice Rak
Their interaction with ageless, full-out Rachelle Rak was particularly pleasing, and the boys kept returning to help move things along.
Of course, it was the nonstop production numbers that propelled the hourlong event. While I'd like to do a detailed rundown of each, as I've been able to do in the past, it's really difficult gathering all the proper details and names. (All names I use in this piece are the best info I have available to me.) But here goes!
I'd hit it. (The jackpot! The jackpot!)
Darkly sparkly Jackpot starred a gorgeous, bearded male lead whose lithe body and fluid moves were a winning hand.
The kind of Elvis sighting I could get used to.
The King left me speechless, featuring matinee idolesque Mikey Graceffa, who had all of Elvis' swivel and an effortless command of the stage.
Crowning glory
The dancers in this number were especially cut.
For XXXcaliber, two hotties (one of them every year's biggest fundraiser Mark MacKillop) crossed swords literally and figuratively before a Black king and queen arrived to steal Camelot of the attention.
“I'm not a whore!”
Showgirls would have made Nomi proud, and the lead dancer was on-point in every way. One dancer suffered a thorough wardrobe malfunction, but their reaction was to cover the candy, smile and shrug.
Miracle Growers & show-ers
For Feeling Thorny, the male lead danced his ass off — or, at least, out — while enduring a bad case of poison ivy. Nice bush, though. Several of them, actually. Feed me! See more!
Topicana was a Latin-themed scorcher, the male leads made for each other. One of them, who was among my personal favorites, did his jockstrap reveal directly in front of us, and I'm bracing for pink-eye in the coming days. The dancing in this number was next-level.
At this point, our male stars emerged to playfully interact with a radiant and cunty Laverne Cox, who strutted her stuff after chirping a well-deserved ad for sponsor Mac.
Three girls three
Ménage à Trois had the potential to be set to “Hollywood” by Madonna, with Britney-and-Christina kisses, since it starred three beautiful women. Instead, it was a three-way wedding-and-bedding sort of affair. Smoldering.
I'll follow you until you love me — Libe-, Liberace ...
I think the show's most hysterically funny and risky number was Liberace. Yes, they eroticized the relationship between Liberace and Scott Thorson, and Michael Douglas and Matt Damon must be ready to scratch some eyes out — because it was giddy fun, inventively choreographed and perversley set to Shannon's “Let the Music Play.”
@boyculturedotcom I'll follow you until you love me — Libe-, Liberace. Broadway Bares rolls the dice turning the Liberace/Scott Thorson affair into a song-and-dance number set to Shannon's "Let the Music Play." GAY RIGHTS! #liberace #lgbt🌈 #dance ♬ original sound - Matthew Rettenmund/BoyCulture
Genius. I wish my brother Boy George was there!
Broadway Bares rolled the dice in turning the Liberace/Scott Thorson affair into a song-and-dance number, but it was giddily hilarious and hot. This set piece was so much fun I wished my brother George was there. pic.twitter.com/KHiYt2t2xq
— Matthew Rettenmund (@mattrett) June 27, 2024
Smoke Show starred Bares big shot Nick Kenkel, looking tasty, and doing some creative couch-hopping.
Nick pic
You don't have to be Columbo to sense a pattern here.
They took off the kid gloves.
Put 'em up!
After Nathan Lee Graham (Titanique) emerged looked caftanned and relaxed, next up was Knock Out. Sports-themed numbers are always extra-hot at Broadway Bares, and this was no exception. It was all about boxers, yet the guys were in briefs. Well, briefly.
Andrew Slane and Wayne “Juice” Mackins TKOed everyone in sight, going to town on each other brutally, yet balletically.
Put a ring around it.
Special shout-out to focus-stealing cast member John Paul LaPorte.
The couple that plays together stays together.
The penultimate number, Champagne Bar, was the most spectacularly and elaborately choreographed, and it contained phenomenal chemistry between its leads.
Aydin
This year's MVP, Aydin Eyikan, is one of them, but it takes two to tango, and like all great romantic pairings on the silver screen, he and Jimin Moon were so sensual together they left you wondering, “Wait, is this real?”
Both are physically perfect, as well as extremely advanced dancers capable of elevating moving around in jockstraps to art. This was the aerial number, so I have no doubt the entire mise-en-scène was exquisite, but I never managed to look up.
A new approach to Backstreet Boys, from Broadway Bares. pic.twitter.com/MLHJdO97if
— Matthew Rettenmund (@mattrett) June 27, 2024
The show ended with Bachelor Party, containing a rousing and arousing rendition of “Everybody (Backstreet's Back)” sung live by the NYC-based boy band cover group the Boy Band Project. It was well-delivered and a good note to go out on.
Are you sexual? (Um ... yeah!)
Firestarter Michael Pugliese
We had a bird's-eye of every body.
After Alan Cumming announced all the biggest money-raisers of the year — and the fact that the event broke its own record at way over $1M — we shifted into Rotation, that too-brief portion of the night during which the performers make like strippers and solicit cash.
Feel free to lighten this photo, because his kilt was a Traitor.
Mark MacKillop, the King of Broadway Bares
Michael Pugliese
Andrew Slane
Mark MacKillop
It was all over in the blink of an Ay.
I'm too shy and moral to take liberties, but I've seen men groping the dancers while giving them a measly buck. I did notice this year that it was announced to be sure we had permission before touching a dancer.
I can report that a good — and consensual — time was had by all.
Post-show romance — I am sure the after-party had plenty of afterglow.
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