ABOVE: Leo DiCaprio is the big 5-0 today. Mind-boggling.

BELOW: Keep reading for a hot movie, Nazis in Michigan, Trump picks Little Marco for Secretary of State and more ...

Longo longing (GIF via GIPHY)

OMG.BLOG!: Ass cheeks galore in Do You Want to Die in Indio?

WLNS: Nazis openly marched in two Michigan cities to protest a staged version of ... The Diary of Anne Frank.

JOE.MY.GOD.: Former New York Rep. Michael Grimm, a Republican who was wildly anti-ACA/Obamacare, was paralyzed from the chest down in September ... and so of course is using a GoFundMe to beg for donations.

NYT: Trump is expected to name ass-kissing Florida Sen. Marco Rubio (R) — who Trump mocked as Little Marco for years — as his Secretary of State. Blurgh.

POLITICO: Ultra-MAGA Elise Stefanik, a New York House member, will reportedly be Trump's U.N. ambassador. And, like Trump, she doesn't believe in the U.N.

NPR: Former New York Rep. Lee Zeldin (R), the total tool who nearly became our governor, will be Trump's EPA administrator. Surprise! He doesn't believe in climate control.