ABOVE: There really was no chance Mariska Hargitay would be born ugly.

BELOW: Keep reading for the raging fires, Jack Smith's report, SAG Award nominations and more ...

Drew Goins returns to Jeopardy! — but don't call it a bareback.

KENNETH IN THE (212): What is: my slut era?

Olivier Barthélémy, comin' and goin' (GIF via GIPHY)

OMG.BLOG!: Um, the other side is HERE.

HUFF POST: The DOJ will release Jack Smith's January 6 findings.

JOE.MY.GOD.: Gov. Gavin Newsom of California is in the middle of a crisis, but Trump can't resist calling him “Newscum” and blaming him personally for the fires. I can't take four years of this.

NYT: The L.A. wildfires are a historic, apocalyptic event for many in the area. Two are confirmed dead, many are losing their homes and belongings and pets and livelihoods. Climate change is real, and it's sad that the places most likely to take it seriously are also the most likely to bear the brunt of it.

Everyone I know from the area is telling me it's the worst they've seen in their lives.

A small dose of levity in the situation comes when a clueless reporter has no idea who Steve Guttenberg is:

EXTRATV: The SAG Award nominations are in, and there were plenty of surprising omissions (Isabella Rossellini, Guy Pearce, Angelina Jolie, Denzel Washington, Sebastian Stan x2, Felicity Jones, Fernanda Torres, Clarence Maclin, Nicole Kidman) and quite a few surprising appearances (Monica Barbaro — who I called out in today's post! — Pamela Anderson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jonathan Bailey, Jeremy Strong).

BACKSTAGE: Conclave has a SAG nomination for its cast – but arguably the most pivotal cast member, Carlos Diehz, is ineligible to be considered part of that cast. All because of no title card.

Bonus: Demi Moore Once Optioned Wicked!

DGA.ORG: The Directors Guild of America is honoring the men who directed Emilia Pérez, Anora, Conclave, The Brutalist and A Complete Unknown. They're also honoring the men and women who directed first-time features All We Imagine as Light, My Old Ass, Nickel Boys, Armand and Didi.

Mark Eydelshteyn of Anora. Much more of him here. (Image via video still)

NYT: Fucking FINALLY, that 96-year-old Nazi Jean-Marie Le Pen has died.

HUFF POST: I remember the right bitching that Hillary Clinton running and Kamala Harris replacing Biden were examples of coronations. Now, they're holding a “coronation ball” for Trump. At the Watergate.