I’m surprised @FLOTUS isn’t more adept at fending off a big orange elephant’s ass. She’s had to have many years of practice. pic.twitter.com/aW3d2RpjUo

— Michael Ⓜ️ (@michaelschweitz) October 6, 2018

ABOVE: Melania better watch her ass, because a dead wife would go a long way toward giving Trump sympathy, and he is a sucker for stunts. Meanwhile, Susan Collins is undecided as to whether that pachyderm almost trampled that colonialist mannequin.

BELOW: Keep reading for a non-sexually harassed Shawn Mendes, a gladiator movie to make Joey tingle, Susan Collins calls Dr. Blasey Ford a liar, a referendum on whether Bradley Cooper is fuckable, gay lovebirds are songbirds and much, much more ...

Miss Michigan did not miss a chance to ding her state's GOP last night! (Image via video still)

My ex used to be pageant-obsessed, and I enjoyed them, too — but always with some embarrassment, as they seemed to represent so much conservatism.

That may be changing.

First, we had contestants spanking Trump in their answers in 2017:

Above: He's 40 and fabulous. Suck it!

Below: Keep reading for a male model whose member is one you'll 'member, Trump's war on the NFL, Manafort's new legal troubles, Miss America dropping the swimsuit, a Sordid Lives star dies, and more ...

Above: That'll do it!

Below: Keep reading for Michael B. Jordan looking insanely hot and so much more...

On Sunday evening's Miss America Pageant telecast, Miss Texas — Margana Wood — was asked by People's out gay editor Jess Cagle if  Trump was correct to say there were good people on both sides of the white supremacist issue ... and even though she reps a red state, her answer was not at all timid.

Keep reading for video of her outspoken response ...

(GIF via BirthdaysOffMag.Blogspot.com)

DListed: Pretty but stupid Antonio Sabato Jr. wants to be a Congress critter, but his estranged wife wants him to be her ex — and says he's a drug addict.

HLN: Miss USA 2017 is a nuclear scientist and government employee, but dumb enough that in a pinch she said access to health care is a privilege, not a right:

Politico: Trump claims “absolute right” to leak whatever he wants with whomever he wants, including Russians ... but continues attacks on media and leakers!

Huff Post: Former U.S. Ambassador to Russia on Trump's intel spill: “This is a complette disaster, it's an embarrassment.”

(Image via GilbertBaker.com)

Joe.My.God.: Gilbert Baker Memorial rally is coming June 14 in NYC!

OMG Blog: Michael Jackson: Searching for Neverland looks like a creeptastic exploration of the King of Pop.

(Video still via Lifetime)

 

storm nico is coming. #thelovebomb #niconiconico

A photo posted by nicotortorella (@nicotortorella) on Feb 8, 2017 at 7:46pm PST

POD HATCHES: Nico Tortorella's podcast becoming a TV series.

BEARS, BEARS, BEARS: Polar and otherwise.

SHAGGY DELIC: Hairy guy barely contained in boxers.

YOU'RE ON MAN-DID CAMERA:

 

#candid #candidguys #sneaky #sneakyshot #sneakypic #spy #beach #beachbody #man #boy #guy #gay #hot #hotguy #hotguys #hotmen #hotman #top #topless #shirtless #sexy #sexyguy #sexymen #body #naked #sand

A photo posted by @candidguys on Feb 10, 2017 at 8:40am PST

MAY THE BREAST MAN WIN: Nice furry tits.

TOM HARDY'S BEARD: The actor in his natural habitat.

MODEL BEHAVIOR: This Turkish modeling contest is a must-watch.

(Video still via Facebook @HarryBoyShop)

KINK ALERT: Sexy toys for V-Day. (Bare Booty Alert)

AN HONOR NOT TO BE NOMINATED: Shirtless Aaron Taylor-Johnson.

FORESKIN FOLLIES: Superclose close-ups of Argentine rugby stud's equipment. (Work Unfriendly)

(Image via Tumblr)

(Image via Instagram @matthewstephenherrick)

Actor Matthew Stephen Herrick is suing Grindr for a malicious spoof account (by an ex?) that has sent 700 men to accost him.

Budweiser's Super Bowl ad seems a direct hit on Trump's anti-immigration fiat:

Up to 88 suspicious deaths of gay men in Sydney from 1976-2000 may have been hate crimes at the hands of teen gangs.

Insta-personality Simon Loresca is achieving tens of millions of views for aping Miss Phillipines' distinctive gait:

Trump awkwardly acknowledges Black History Month, name-checking Frederick Douglass and ... Omarosa.

Smalltown Texas mayor Jeff — now Jess — Herbst comes out as trans in letter to the city she represents. (Click below to enlarge/read.)

(Image via New Hope, Texas)