ABOVE: I love Portis Wasp and Nick Sterling.

BELOW: Cole Sprouse strips, two dudes and a baby, AOC dancing her ass off and more ..

ABOVE: (Very) Happy Boxing Day!

BELOW: Trump visits the troops, Adam Lambert Cher-enades a national institution, hottest male booty in the movies, the kid raised with a cow and more ...

Shut up and dance! (Image via Bryan Hawn)

Bryan Hawn is launching a new Web series called BROSCIENCE, which will be filled with scantily clad how-tos. It kicks off — with help from Vlad Parker — with a tutorial on lapdancing.

I've had a lapdance from Bryan ... he is not talking out of his ass here ...

ABOVE: This guy's art is hot stuff.

BELOW: Keep reading for Nyle DiMarco squatting, a madman who broke a woman's spine on the NYC subway over a same-sex peck, Trumps odds of doing hard time and more ...

May I have THIS dance?! (Image via video still)

Pablo & Kiko prove in this video from last year that two men can and should be featured on shows like Dancing with the Stars ...

Mac's gay boogie (Image via FX)

If you're not watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, maybe you should be.

Check out the show's much-talked-about dance sequence, featuring newly jacked Mac (Rob McElhenney) finding his gay pride ...

It was the night of 1,000 Madonnas. (Images by Matthew Rettenmund)

I've never gotten around to attending Cathy Cervenka's annual Madonnathon — but its 15th-anniversary year seemed a good enough excuse to finally go!

If Madonna had gone, her career would've flashed before her eyes!

My co-author Anthony Coombs and I also promised to provide one of the first copies of our new book MLVC60 to one of the costume-contest winners of the Halloween bash, so we had even more reason to go.

I wish I'd taken even more pictures, but I was busy talking with people and missed some of the performances. The ones I saw were outstanding!

Go ahead and take a pole — the results will show that Esther was both sticky and sweet!

Esther was sensational in a sizzling set that incorporated so many phases of Madonna's career it left people (wait for it) breathless, and she had the good sense to include hunky dancers. She was top-notch, and I've seen many Madonna-themed acts.

Blond ambition ahoy!

I was also wowed by a rap/thrash take on “Bitch I'm Madonna” and vocal pyrotechnics on renditions of “Live to Tell” and “Don't Cry for Me, Argentina” that raised the roof of the Highline Ballroom.

Does your bottom hurt just thinkin' about it?

Then there was a perfectly whimsical “Vogue” done in the style of Madonna'a 1990 MTV performance, except sung live, and hostess Cathy wowed with her own live set, backed up by two zaftig dancers who opened their hearts while opening minds on what the “perfect” body size is. 

Madonna Power!

There were quite a few others, and the appreciative crowd was never disappointed. I'll have to make this a tradition!

Keep reading for more pix from the night ...

We are a part of an endangered nation ... (Image via Jack Tracy)

Jack Tracy, inspired by Janet Jackson, contributes this music video urges LGBTQ voters (and others!) to take the midterms seriously and under as much damage as possible ...