Ponzi (main), Pfister (upper R) & @gayshawnmendes (lower L) (Images via mug shots & screen grabs)

TRUE CRIME STORY: There's a proud Chicago mama out there somewhere! Anthony Ponzi (is it a stretch to wonder if he makes his friends call him The Ponz?), 21, is alleged to have coughed in the faces of Chicago cops and claim to them that he had COVID-19. Yeah, he was prolly drunk. Still, his sainted mother will think twice before bragging about her Anthony's infectious personality. (MORE)

(Screen grab via Ellyn Lindsay)

Proof the RNC is deplying “poll-watchers” to squelch Democratic voting.

Currently a 10% chance Trump loses the popular, wins the electoral, vote. Same % I slit my wrists.

Trump is promising a special session of Congress to strip millions of health care.

60% of Clinton voters don't respect Trump voters. And 60% of Trump voters think Clinton voters should be lynched!

Glenn Beck lambastes Comey's letter as “one of the most irresponsible things ever to happen.”

Trying to determine anything from these early-voting results will make you tear out my last few hairs.

Right: Blinded by his desire to see The Donald as the president (Video still via CNN)

Anderson Cooper is not having all this talk of phony polls. Video after the jump.

Cook: Dems will win 5-7 Senate seats, take back majority.

Hillary slams the Pentagon and California National Guard over enlistment-bonus take-back.

Thank you to Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Hillary Clinton,& others for trying to right this wrong. #Vets4Hillary https://t.co/5ojifmAVfo

— Roni The #NastyWoman (@paleblueeyes24) October 25, 2016

Beleaguered Kellyanne Conway: “It's not for me to take away a grown man's Twitter account.”

Trump surrogate Ed Klein claims Hillary really is taking performance-enhancing drugs.

Even Glenn Beck thinks “frightening” Trump is a sociopath. Amazingly candid video after the jump ...

Amini Fonua—see below for story (Image via Vanguard Now)

U.S. pastor Scott Lively, who pushed for Uganda's Kill the Gays law, faces trial.

Lawsuit vs. Glenn Beck over Boston Marathon terrorist bombing proceeds. He's toast.

World's cutest couple outside Barbra's Chicago show (Image via Shaun Martz & Russ Ramstrom)

Hear Barbra Streisand sing & help raise cash for Hillary Clinton, who's just gotta win.

If you're feeling shut out from the gay community over sexuality, some of these replies make sense.

Openly gay Tongan swimmer Amini Fonua is raising gay awareness with his butt!

Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte has to eat enough to feed a family of 4
every day. He has to! I just do it because I feel like it.

— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) August 9, 2016

Michael Phelps wins amazing 20th gold medal. Why Ryan Lochte ain't half-bad, either.

.@MichaelPhelps after his 200m butterfly win in Athens in 2004 and today in Rio. #Rio2016 pic.twitter.com/gd8NUVAsit

— TODAY (@TODAYshow) August 10, 2016

U.S. condemns Israeli shelling of U.N. school.

Deportation-happy House votes against Dreamers.

Kill the Gays law struck down on technicality by Ugandan court.

Janet Jackson album rumor struck down by Janet Jackson.

American Idol alum Michael Johns dies at 35 after twisting his ankle.

Should he keep the beard?

The C-word gets read, to a disco beat.

Meet Torsten, the Bareback Saint.

Hottest June in history, ever, at all.

Worst CA drought in history, ever, at all.

Have to agree with Roxane Gay that she's a pretty shitty feminist.

Liz Cheney's furious at Obama. Yawn.

Here comes the fuzz!

Peachy keen

Ready for another Romy & Michele reunion? Disney isn't.

Beyoncé shamelessly used ElevatorGate in a new “Flawless” remix.

Tom Daley goes for (and gets) the gold.

Broadest attack on states' gay-marriage bans yet.

Gay marriages in OK: Soon.

Kickstarter for making potato salad raises $55,000+.

Glenn Beck cops to saying “some stupid things.”

Beating of trans woman in Honduras by cop caught on video.

Nick Jonas and his back cleavage heat up new DIRECTV series Kingdom.

I want you back.

Towel boy

Steven Chevrin by Mario Testino.

Something to sink your teeth into.

Idina Menzel's renegade teat.

DEATH OF THE DIVA?: Musically, Mariah & J.Lo sell next to nothing.

Since when are Mariah & Courtney Love besties?

Luxembourg gives marriage & adoption equality the nod.

Cheney, architect of Iraq's destruction, assails Obama on Iraq.

Glenn Beck: “Liberals were right—we never should've invaded Iraq.”

*NSYNC still has power.

ANGRY SPLIT: Drag group DWV is kaput.

CLUELESS: Stacee Dash thinks Republicans are pro-marriage equality.

Watch a makeup artist transform into True Blue Madonna.

The beauty mark marks the spot.