Girl power!

Cristiano Ronaldo covers GQ's Body Issue, and the images of him are definitely giving me body issues.

In the piece, readers are told how to achieve the cobra-like quality of Ronaldo's upper body when it's hyper-extended:

1. Pull-ups. “Start off with pull-ups or chin-ups,” says Carlos Frias, an L.A.-area trainer. For pull-ups, place your hands on the bar slightly wider than shoulder width, with your palms facing in. Pull your shoulder blades together—picture yourself pulling your elbows into your ribs—while lifting yourself up until your chin’s even with the bar.

2. Chin-ups. Same concept, just with palms facing outward. “This way’s more of a combination between your lats and biceps,” Brathwaite says.

3. Hit the lat machine. Pretty self-explanatory—but keep in mind that, to determine how much you’re lifting, you need to subtract the machine’s weight from your body mass (so if you weigh 180 and put the pin at 50 pounds, you’re actually lifting 130 pounds).

More on Ronaldo here.

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ABOVE: “Trailblazing” athlete Michael Sam moves to Canada, starts over.

Hollywood Book & Poster owner dies at a film noir convention.

Hilariously, Rick Santorum is running for president.

New Madonna “Ghosttown” remix.

MS MR's “Painted” Lindstrøm Remix

Tilda Swinton joining Doctor Strange?

Cher's new ad campaign for Marc Jacobs.

Borna Coric covers (very young) Men's Health.

Sam Heughan gets naked. (Work Unfriendly)

Nebraska does away with the death penalty.

San Andreas sucks, seismologist live-tweets its many ... faults.

The Pope is not a progressive.

Dr. Renée Richards, trans icon, opens up to GQ.

Michael Sam may not be in the NFL anymore, but he still rates as one of GQ's Men of the Year, posing for Peggy Sirota for the cover.

He says he wants to be a distraction based on his performance in sports, but knocks those who focus on his sexual orientation as being somehow other, saying of them, “Gotta keep bringing up the locker-room situation because he’s gay.”

Sam goes on to tell Andrew Corsello that his coming out story might have been different had he felt he had more of a choice:

“If I had it my way, I never would have done it the way I did, never would have told it the way I did. But the recruiters knew, and reporters knew, and they talked to each other, and it got out. If I didn’t have the year I did, nobody would have cared. But I have no regrets. Some people can argue that I had the potential to go higher in the draft. But I think everything happens for a reason. It looks good to see me in the position I’m in now, because I can show the world how good I am and rise up the ranks. I’m at the bottom now. I can rise up, show I’m a football player. Not anything else. Just a football player.”

He also talks about his troubled childhood:

“Only a handful of people really know how I was raised. Certain family members weren’t…there. They were ghosts. My brothers were the ones who were there. Most of the time, that was scary. I tried to stay away as much as possible. We called the cops on my brothers so many times I can’t even count. Not only for hurting me. They’d abuse my sisters. Verbally abuse my mom. My brothers were evil people. I don’t have a relationship with them now. They’ve both written me letters from prison. For them to dare to call themselves my brothers—I can’t live with that.”

This issue of GQ hits newsstands November 25.

Chris Pratt is one of GQ's Men of the Year. See the others here.

Kiss-off!

ABOVE: mr Pam hits Folsom Street Fair...and it hits back!

Nothing makes me smile harder than a homophobe in tears.

Reviewing sexual positions on Yelp!

Kirsten Dunst short is best thing she's done in years.

Kelly Rowland to play Donna Summer?

More press for my new book—please pledge if you can.

Obamas should move to a doorman building...

UNSAFE SEX: Gay porn actor murder trial under way.

Minneapolis gay couple shot by religious nutjob.

Tyler Perry and his “girlfriend” (snort!) are expecting a son.

Bruce Jenner is transitioning. Just accept it.

2nd Obamacare enrollment period begins November 15!

Did I mention I'm an amateur proctologist?

“Nick the Gardener”'s abs get their own spin-off show.

Ebola hits the U.S. via Dallas.

Interview with out artist/illustrator Drew Green.

Jessa Duggar links Darwin to the Holocaust to abortion because God.

Koch Brothers trying to buy Latinos' votes.

Getting intimate with Britney Spears.

Police chief's daughter screamed slurs and hit bashing victim in the face.

I LOLed at the fainting scene in Episode 3 of Raymond & Lane, after the jump...

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ABOVE: Benedict Cumberbatch accepts his GQ Award drunk (at the very least).

VA's former governor, virulently anti-gay, and his kooky wife found GUILTY.

Gay groups finally allowed to march in the NYC St. Patrick's Day Parade in 2015.

Zac Efron crotch-grab gif. Some dude's giant bulge.

Really bad at pussy licking.

James Franco goes bald.

Who knew “Dr. Madonna” was a gynecologist?

Because teenagers should not wave dildos at motorists.

An Indiegogo-level memorial for Arturo Galster.

Castro queens can not spell.

SexFit rings keep score of how good your penis is at sex.

Bruno Knight, gay pornstar busted for meth at LAX, had ironic role. (Work Unfriendly)

Another fine meth

If you are “horrified” by the above cover, grow up.

Robin Williams + gay hustler = must-see movie.

Is Beyoncé really not Blue Ivy's mom after all?

Insane racist woman in death threat-laden viral video.

HOT guys, HARD at work.

James Franco is playing insane ex-gay Michael Glatze, who really hates the gays.

 '90s teen heartthrob Andrew Keegan invented a religion.

Lady Gaga's lesbian fan letter.

Chris Martin's got a type: Annoying blondes.

Christian singer Vicky Beeching comes out swinging in 1st post-coming out interview.

Ferguson cops beat a suspect, charged him for bloodying their uniforms.

Papal selfies are the latest thing.

Gay blogger thinks gay men need to grow up and stay out of the bars.

Pioneering skateboarder Jay Adams dies @ 53.

Kit Harington of Game of Thrones fame gives a candid interview to GQ (April 2014), in which he's asked if he'd show his "manhood" if required by the script. He replies: