ABOVE: Read what he wrote, tho.

BELOW: Keep reading for David Ortega, Luke Evans and (checks notes) Anita Bryant ...

ABOVE: Believe it or not, he's 72 years old today!

BELOW: Keep reading for fat/fit debate, J.K. Rowling's last stand and more ...

For all of you who are total infants — THERE'S A TELEVISION SPOILER ALERT IN THE BELOW LINKS! O-M-GEE! ...

ABOVE: They've got the look.

BELOW: Keep reading for shirtlessness galore, Noah Schnapp's supportive gramps and more ...

ABOVE: He's got the look.

BELOW: Keep reading for a wild pair, Biden's SOTU slam-dunk, fights about how gay to be and more ...

ABOVE: Remembering birthday boy Clint Walker, hottest you ever ... saw.

BELOW: Keep reading for the Heartstopper Generation, Hillary's lawyer not guilty, history of the gay grooming smear and more ...

ABOVE: Everyone's in Puerto Vallarta or Tulum or Hawaii. Instagram says so.

BELOW: Keep reading for the teenager who tried to kill a man for being gay, Tim Cook in bed with Donald Trump's Truth, Gus Kenworthy on being an out gay jock in China and more ...

ABOVE: Pit slip.

BELOW: Cheryl Hines curbs her husband's enthusiasm, gay bashing in Manchester, is that mustachioed agent Kenworthy-worthy? and more ...

ABOVE: If someone told you to jump off a bridge for Robby Benson, would ya?

BELOW: Keep reading for Gus Kenworthy's lack of regret, back-to-back celebrity deaths, gay mags of the week and more ...