ABOVE: Hey, Mr. DJ.

BELOW: Keep reading for the sexiest men alive, a booty-tastic diver, attempted murder as a car plows through Prude protesters in Times Square, Barr lied and more  ...

ABOVE: Spotted, in the wild.

BELOW: Keep reading for the hardest question ever, what Congress may do about Trump's election fraud, Trump's brother dies (missed it by that much) and more ...

ABOVE: Butts on TV?

BELOW: Keep reading for Trump's Mount Rushmore desires, his Gettysburg plans, an anti-mask Karen and a racist-from-hell Karen, plus good dish from Wilson Cruz ...

ABOVE: Peacockhound.

BELOW: Gay Lib memories, Gohmert gets COVID-19, Trump still loooves Putin and Russia, Laverne and Billy talk Emmy nominations and more ...

ABOVE: Give it a prize already.

BELOW: Keep reading for Mehcad Brooks shirtless, a Steven Arnold doc, why COVID-19 is hurting Michigan disproportionately, Chicago's memeworthy mayor and more ...

Ponzi (main), Pfister (upper R) & @gayshawnmendes (lower L) (Images via mug shots & screen grabs)

TRUE CRIME STORY: There's a proud Chicago mama out there somewhere! Anthony Ponzi (is it a stretch to wonder if he makes his friends call him The Ponz?), 21, is alleged to have coughed in the faces of Chicago cops and claim to them that he had COVID-19. Yeah, he was prolly drunk. Still, his sainted mother will think twice before bragging about her Anthony's infectious personality. (MORE)

ABOVE: It's okay to go out, within reason.

BELOW: Keep reading for a wrestler marrying his boyfriend, Trump insisting on being a racist douchebag, a hilarious way for gay men to say hello during the COVID-19 scare and more ...

ABOVE: I guess he liked the light.

BELOW: Keep reading for the hottest 40-year-old around, Blagojevich's victory lap, a naked Big Brother and more ...