ABOVE: Give it a prize already.
TRUE CRIME STORY: There's a proud Chicago mama out there somewhere! Anthony Ponzi (is it a stretch to wonder if he makes his friends call him The Ponz?), 21, is alleged to have coughed in the faces of Chicago cops and claim to them that he had COVID-19. Yeah, he was prolly drunk. Still, his sainted mother will think twice before bragging about her Anthony's infectious personality. (MORE)
ABOVE: It's okay to go out, within reason.
ABOVE: I guess he liked the light.
ABOVE: It's a cover-up, I tell ya!
ABOVE: God damn, his thigh game is strong.
ABOVE: KJ Apa has a great new spread in Rollacoaster Magazine.