ABOVE: Give it a prize already.

BELOW: Keep reading for Mehcad Brooks shirtless, a Steven Arnold doc, why COVID-19 is hurting Michigan disproportionately, Chicago's memeworthy mayor and more ...

Ponzi (main), Pfister (upper R) & @gayshawnmendes (lower L) (Images via mug shots & screen grabs)

TRUE CRIME STORY: There's a proud Chicago mama out there somewhere! Anthony Ponzi (is it a stretch to wonder if he makes his friends call him The Ponz?), 21, is alleged to have coughed in the faces of Chicago cops and claim to them that he had COVID-19. Yeah, he was prolly drunk. Still, his sainted mother will think twice before bragging about her Anthony's infectious personality. (MORE)

ABOVE: It's okay to go out, within reason.

BELOW: Keep reading for a wrestler marrying his boyfriend, Trump insisting on being a racist douchebag, a hilarious way for gay men to say hello during the COVID-19 scare and more ...

ABOVE: I guess he liked the light.

BELOW: Keep reading for the hottest 40-year-old around, Blagojevich's victory lap, a naked Big Brother and more ...

ABOVE: It's a cover-up, I tell ya!

BELOW: Keep reading for a red-hot fireman, Trump casually destroying Democracy, Bernie winning NH (with Pete and Amy in hot pursuit) and more ...

ABOVE: God damn, his thigh game is strong.

BELOW: Rami Malek as a supervillain, someone married Pamela Anderson (part 5), naked actor, Hillary tells the truth about Bernie, McConnell's impeachment-trial rules are a farce and more ...

ABOVE: KJ Apa has a great new spread in Rollacoaster Magazine.

BELONG: His thighs adored you, gay country, Nikki Haley lies for Trump and more ...

ABOVE: Fun fur.

BELOW: Nico Tortorella's battle of the bulge, Trump's pro-Russia pull-out, Chicago Fire's gay character and more ...