I’m surprised @FLOTUS isn’t more adept at fending off a big orange elephant’s ass. She’s had to have many years of practice. pic.twitter.com/aW3d2RpjUo

— Michael Ⓜ️ (@michaelschweitz) October 6, 2018

ABOVE: Melania better watch her ass, because a dead wife would go a long way toward giving Trump sympathy, and he is a sucker for stunts. Meanwhile, Susan Collins is undecided as to whether that pachyderm almost trampled that colonialist mannequin.

BELOW: Keep reading for a non-sexually harassed Shawn Mendes, a gladiator movie to make Joey tingle, Susan Collins calls Dr. Blasey Ford a liar, a referendum on whether Bradley Cooper is fuckable, gay lovebirds are songbirds and much, much more ...

Above: Guys galore here. (Follows & likes appreciated.)

Below: Keep reading for the scoop on Anderson Cooper going from taken to taken, Dylann Roof's insane sibling, the dude who dug up Natalee Holloway got stabbed to death, Alan Hollinghurst on sex, the idea of whether Love, Simon is gay enough, Mueller subpoenas Trump Org, Trump boasts of trade lie, trans suicide, Jesse Tyler Ferguson's embarrassing coming-out story, guy mostly in a kilt, Village People imposters, Dua Lipa on The Ellen DeGeneres Show ...

Above: Diego Arnary — plus more of him here.

Below: Keep reading for the service member defiant after a gay bashing, an underwear party, David Byrne's new tour, Modern Family's fate, Pence's shaming and Timothée Chalamet's rejection of Woody Allen ...

From lower L, clockwise: Roberts via ABC, Cyrus via NBC, Parsons via CBS, DeGeneres via Telepictures, Shepard via Fox, Cooper via CNN.

Some of these estimated salaries of top TV stars are pretty mind-blowing. I knew Judy Sheindlin made a bundle, but $47M a year?

And when it comes to episodic TV, how'd you like to knock down $1M per episode to do the backbreaking work Kaley Cuoco does on Big Bang Theory?

Variety's full list is here.

LGBTQ-related talent is well-represented, with two of us among the top-paid people in entertainment:

I moved away from the state for a reason.

Michigan will allow medical professionals to deny care to gays.

Golden material boy.

Connor Barwin's killer stems.

Ty Herndon's 1st public appearance with his BF.

Egyptian bathhouse raid.

Eaten Alive is D.O.A.

Girls Season 4 trailer here.

Even more gifs of Bruno Miranda's A+++ ass.

NYC relaxes birth-certificate rules for trans citizens.

Pat Sajak reads contestant's reluctantly waving pal.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson covers “Shake It Off” just because.

Tom Daley & Dustin Lance Black team up for video #2—amazing prize!

Two times the fun

Download Video as MP4

Racy new bisexual video (above) from Aris.

Ruba Wilson wants to put out a visual album and needs your help.

Gov. Rick Perry (R-Texas) caves, shakes hands with Obama. But that's it!

Rosie O'Donnell officially returns to The View.

98-year-old San Franciscan evicted from her apartment of 50 years because $$$.

Even poor white people have it better than black people.

Emmy nominee Ferguson on hubby's cancer battle & Quinto rumors.

Radio host and nutjob Alex Jones calls Michelle Obama our “First Tranny.”

Be-Speedoed pornstar Jessie Colter called queer, kicked out of water park.

Lindsay Lohan already proving to be a bad hire.

Heathers: The Musical posts closing notice.

Pageant: The Musical is back!

Well-off lady swiftly descends into poverty, crawls back.

OVER HALF of all statements on FOX News are false.

To Kill a Mockingbird actress Rosemary Murphy dies @ 89.

Death of an actor's actor

Yes, we are gay—don't judge Gilles Marini and me

Last Saturday, I had a lot of fun covering the red carpet of the 23rd GLAAD Media Awards. Didn't I just do that? Yes, but that was the New York edition; as I was in L.A., I covered the West Coast gathering. See, GLAAD ain't dumb—they have two to make it so no celebrity can say, "Oh, I'm on the wrong coast! I can't go!"

I hired my sweet pal Brad as my videographer and met him at the Westin Bonaventure just in time to check in and take our places. I kind of hate how the carpet was set up—the guests were allowed to congregate behind us to stargaze, which was distracting. But it was nothing compared to the women two spots down from me whose entire goal was to flash a huge "FREE GAY HUGS!" sign and video themselves receiving said hugs from roughly two-thirds of the celebrities who walked. (And I thought I was lame with my aggressive pic-with requests!) They were so damn loud! Luckily, they didn't ruin any of my interviews, but only by sheer luck.

Brad's mic needed batteries (he's blond; sorry, Brad) so I wound up videoing my own first chat, with Jennifer Tyrrell. She's the lesbian mom recently booted as a den mother by the virulently homophobic Boy Scouts of America. Smart woman and immediately likable. Unreal that they're getting away with that crap. I was a cub scout (I bailed on Webelos mainly because...what the fuck is a Webelo???) and fondly remember my Pinewood Derby racing days as well as the hillbilly band we assembled for a talent night. Not to mention the father/son cook-off, in which my father and I had a well-appreciated coconut cream pie. But still, fuck the Scouts.

My first stars were Angela Featherstone (STUH-nning, but my campadre confessed she had been an ice queen on a recent shoot) and Michelle Paradise of Exes & Ohs. No Megan Cavanagh, but they were delightful.

Next, I snagged Grant Gustin of Glee. I don't really follow the show, but no one that cute is getting past me without a third degree. He's adorable and quite articulate, even if he refers to gay people as "homosexuals," which totally didn't offend me because he was totally doing it to sound smart, not homophobic. I had a homosexual crush on various parts of him.

Max Adler from the same show was equally adorable and charming. He's passionate about his role, even though it came as a total shocker that his bullying character would be written as a late-blooming man-lover.