ABOVE: Your not kidding!

BELOW: Keep reading for Kanye's latest breakdown, NYPD just can't quit chokeholds, new series coming about gay history, Liz Cheney = voice of reason (gasp!) and more ...

ABOVE: Go off, Rude Rainbow!

BELOW: Keep reading for a Michael Biehn update, the U.S. Surgeon General getting panicky about mask compliance (way late), tennis thighs, Funny Girl to Broadway, rebranding Pepe and more ...

Taylor Lautner showmancing the bone with co-star Billie Lourd (Image via Keke Palmer, of all people)

Taylor Lautner kissed the daughter of Bryan Lourd, so he's straight. (Keke Palmer's mom once outed a famous pop star to me in my office!)

Joe Biden made a return to the Senate and casually mentioned he'll run in 2020 ... at age 78.

Austria's Hillary beat Austria's Trump — because Austria lacks this one key component the U.S. government has.

Rogue elector group wants Kasich for prez. I would take Tommy Chong at this point. Or the kid from Webster.

A real page-turner! (Image via Sean McNulty/MSPCA Angell)

Daddy in a Speedo. 2017 Massachusetts Firefighter Calendar is oof! Big Brother star goes nude. (Work Unfriendly)

That banana never stood a chance ... (Video still via Michael Henry)

Keep reading to see if gay guys and straight guys devour tube-fruit the same way ...

Eurovision 2016 Contestant Hovi Star Harassed at Russian Airport for Being Gay - VIDEO https://t.co/3M4BLPFQy3 https://t.co/mlDNeSk85p

— CDA News (@CDA_News) April 23, 2016

Israeli Eurovision contestant Hovi Star claims Russian border agents mocked him, tore up his passport: “In Moscow, people have a rough time with people like me...”

Cruz & Kasich are officially teaming up to deny Trump the Republican nomination. So much for the pundits who never took the guy seriously.

Nic Palladino by Scott Hoover:

NEW image of Youtube and modeling sensation Nic Palladino by @scotthoover. Nic was shot In LA wearing @kylekingswim pic.twitter.com/jxFVKtTAQd

— Peaks N Valleys (@MrPeaksNValleys) April 25, 2016

Charlotte United Methodist church defies rules, marries gay couple in act of defiance. Well, isn't that special?

“Sailor lives for robbery, imprisonment and expulsion. Be his victim.” How's that for pitching you on a queer play?

Afternoon Quickie with Pablo Hernandez: 

VIDEO: OX Gold with Kat & Joel: Sydney Radio Show interview with Pablo Hern @PabloHernandez7 https://t.co/EFcVzRfv4B pic.twitter.com/FoZorNHnrI

— Gay West Hollywood (@GayWeHo) April 25, 2016

La'Porsha Renae (Image via FOX)

La'Porsha Renae is sorry she used the word “lifestyle” in conjunction with the word “gay,” affirms she is against discriminatory laws.

OMG, the '80s just crashed into the '90s in a movie about the '00s being released in the '10s.

Katie Holmes directed and acted in a movie that someone said is not half bad ... and she's the best thing in it!

Bradley Cooper's rear car (Image by David Miller)

David Miller spotted Bradley Cooper on the subway and did what he should do—discreetly took a pic of his butt. (And the rest of him.)

WHAT CORONATION?: Hillary Clinton has campaigned her heart out to win New York, thus proving she does, in fact, have one.

John Kasich, who's apparently running for president, asks gay people to “just relax,” “just get over” discrimination. (At least he didn't confuse 9/11 with 7-Eleven!)

A Trans Man In North Carolina Printed Business Cards To Pass Out In The Ladies’ Roomhttps://t.co/jI4a25KOxC pic.twitter.com/CQ6hsDDVcw

— BuzzFeed LGBT (@BuzzFeedLGBT) April 4, 2016 

The ways in which anti-LGBT North Carolina is suffering. Ha!

Trump & Cruz join forces to keep Kasich OUT of contention.

I don't get why the Sanders campaign offered post mortem-like assessments if he's still campaigning. https://t.co/z4kQHB1im5

— Tommy Vietor (@TVietor08) April 4, 2016

Bernie Sanders paying for his own early doubts he could win.

Young as she appeared four years ago (Image by Matthew Rettenmund)

Sean Young's OMG, what? interview on her tumultuous career.

Caitlyn Jenner is joining Transparent.

Jeffrey Erdman is Mr. Los Angeles Leather 2016. Photos.

Mr. L.A. Leather (Image by Motorboot Photography)

RIDICULOUS VIDEO: Cultural appropriation is more okay than assault.

John Kasich is in the race not to win, but to steal it at the convention.

James Franco can't stop!

[Image by Mark Seliger/Rolling Stone (L) & Jason Mecier (R)]

Meet Jason Mecier, whose Celebrity Trash art is garbage.

Wentworth Miller responds to fat-shaming meme.

Anthony Rizzo in shorts should lead to #RizzoMadeMeGay hashtag: 

Rizzo awaits a throw in coach's gear: pic.twitter.com/Le4wgDktfb

— Mark Gonzales (@MDGonzales) March 27, 2016

Sen. Rubio ended his presidential run after a disappointing #PrimaryDay finish in Florida. https://t.co/CNMv0esvjc pic.twitter.com/YB7zMZVC1g

— NPR (@NPR) March 16, 2016

Bye, bye, Little Marco.

Marco Rubio, the #1 Republican the Hillary Clinton campaign feared, never gelled with the people. Tonight, after a dismal finish in his home state, the senator called it quits, leaving the race between just Donald Trump (who won tonight's states save for Ohio), Sen. Ted Cruz (who seems to be on the verge of taking Missouri) and Gov. John Kasich (who provided a speed bump for Trump by taking the state he's currently running into the ground, Ohio).

Marco Rubio got Trumped. #PrimaryDay pic.twitter.com/ql3aprTPHk

— Florida Democrats (@FlaDems) March 16, 2016

In his speech tonight, Sen. Cruz grotesquely noted that Hillary Clinton tosses and turns “in her jail cell” over the threat she feels from, of all people, Carly Fiorina. (Why are they even compared in the same breath? They have exactly one thing in common—gender.)

Trump is going to have a hard time getting to the nomination in a clean way having been denied Ohio. Perhaps a contested convention is a reality for the Republicans.

If he wins the nomination, Trump's real pivot won't be from extremism to the center but from racism to misogyny.

— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) March 13, 2016

Will the establishment suck it up and get behind Trump, who's earned the nomination in spirit if not in the delegate count, or will it deny him, knowing they'd be alienating his voters and potentially handing the White House to the Democrats?

wow. wow. @Redistrict notes Trump is losing 2 IL delegates bc his voters skipped voting for his delegate candidates named Sadiq & Fakroddin.

— Taniel (@Taniel) March 16, 2016