When it comes to following hot Broadway performers, Off-Broadway actors and chorus boys, I wouldn't say I'm the most dedicated, but I'm one of the most literal—in fact, I tend to run into them on the street and say hello. [Most of the time, they're thrilled to be recognized and briefly chatted up by a fan, though one luscious blond(ish) boy has looked at me like I'm wearing a vest littered with bubonic plague-laced needles.]
My own Instagram is filled with sexy men about town, and probably a decent number of them are buff theater boys, sure to please all you theater buffs.
With innovations like Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, you don't even have to leave your home to ogle men who were—let's face it—born to be ogled.
Without further adieu, and in no particular order, here are just a few of the nonsensically beautiful, occasionally ecstatically exhibitionistic men of the theater who you may want to get social with real fast...
This was after Josh's third trip to dump money backstage
Last night wasBroadway Bares: Solo Strips at XL in NYC, which is a sort of appetizer for the main event, Broadway Bares on June 17 @ Roseland. The concept is that 10 Broadway dancers do brief striptease routines for a paying crowd and then shake their literal moneymakers afterward, being generous with at least their tips in search of generous tips in order to raise money for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.
The new WTC building had nothing on her
Waiting for my sidekick, I watched a 6'4" (guessing) drag queen sashaying in and wondered if she could touch the ceiling inside. Just was hoping she wouldn't be standing in front of me; tall people can be such (high) heels about that sort of thing.
When I went in, I was crestfallen to hear a woman at the door reminding everyone not to take any pictures. If something happens and no pictures are taken, did it really happy at all? She didn't tell me, so that was my out, but I was kinda worried until the show began and nobody seemed to care.
A tasteful shot of tasty Matt
These events can be aspirational, considering all the ridiculously built men milling about (onstage and off), and yet when I hugged charming (and single, boys!) Matt Skrincosky, who has to believe I'm a stalker by now and who was one of the perfect specimens selling raffle tickets, it had the dual effect of motivating and making me think, "What's the use?"
He swore my raffle ticket would win!
I was at the stairs so had a fairly good view. There was, of course (as there always is) one tall asshole (kidding, but I've always found vertically gifted people to be a lot more entertaining horiztonal) in the exact spot where some of the down-and-dirtiest grinding was happening, but overall I was happy to capture a few sizzling moments. I ran into my Broadway Bares bud Andrew Glaszek, who is apparently at every event in existence and has already slept with everyone I have a crush on; he's younger, but could be my mentor. Or maybe my chorus-boy rabbi.
A reminder: Be sure you donate $ to this worthy cause if you're gonna ogle my pictures and videos, 'k?
Preparing to toss Cesar's salad
First up was Cesar Abreu, working an ambitious James Bond number that included a gorgeous chick (whose name someone will probably send me) and Josh Buscher, who popped up later in the show. The great thing was that he had a gun in his pocket AND was happy to see us.
I wanna say I'm just a little stuck on Nick
Evita's Nick Kenkel had a leisurely routine centered around a studios type with a harness under his clothes and a penchant for whipping out Madonna fetish gear during a Janet Jackson number. One of the evening's best bodies on an evening when all of the bodies were simply the best.
My third Broadway Bares, directed by Josh Rhodes and assistant director Lee Wilkins and produced by Jerry Mitchell with a Monopoly theme, was the best yet even if the star power was not as jaw-dropping as one might expect for a 20th anniversary show—no matter, because who the fuck cares about Missy Tony Winner when you've got a stage filled with the country's best, brightest and nakedest Broadway dancers? The night was like one big no-handed edging session. I'm not sure if the experience is untoppable, but if it isn't, it's definitely a power bottom in sequins.
Shiny, happy people
Jason and I (pictured, above) showed up at 10:35 last night to line up for the midnight show, only to find the line snaking out of Roseland and about three-quarters of the way to 53rd already. It was already a gay-list day—not only did I spot both Leslie Jordan and Paolo Andino on Ninth Avenue, but I got all blogged down by brunching with Kenneth from Kenneth in the (212) and running into Jesse Archer, Joe Jervis (pictured), Jared Eng and Andy Towle at BB. See, not all bloggers spend their lives in the pajamas...though I'm in mine as I type this. Hmmm.
The lovely AJ Thorpe ushered us in
They let us in around 11:30, whereupon we made a beeline for the middle, settling on the inside edge of stage right. It was packed and quite warm (a 90-degree day had preceded) but not too bad. I feel terrible for the cute guy adhered to me from the front (I felt bad, but he felt good) because my camera must have poked him 200 times later on. I saw some of the usual pervs—myself included—many of whom pop up in my videos from previous years.
The show started 20 minutes late, but it unfolded at whiplash pace. Dapper Euan Morton (so brilliant eons ago in Taboo) kicked off the opening number "The Best Game in Town" in a top hat and tails a good little monopolist, introducing us to the lovely ladies who stood in for the iconic game pieces. Each and every one was described in sexually suggestive ways, even the wheelbarrow—you can guess what she's capable of carrying away.
No, THIS is the best game in town
There she is, Miss...Vanessa L. Williams
The show's biggest star opened the whole thing
With no build-up, he introduced the biggest stars of the night, the resurging Vanessa Williams (don't even dream that she would be dumb enough to get naked again) and everybody's favorite Christian Broadway bombshell Kristin Chenoweth. The ladies were on point and suitably glam, sporting nice gams.
Josh's entrance (the other one is available to view here.)
Joshua Buscher, a West Side Story dancer in possession of (this must be official somewhere?) the greatest white behind on the Great White Way was someone I picked out last year as a dazzler; this year, he starred in a show-stopping number called "The Bank" set to Lady GaGa's "Money Honey" (OMG, or was he copying Madonna???) that culminated with him dancing totally nude while basically wearing two male peers. It was a well-tailored fit.
Josh puts it allll behind him
If you want all the minutiae about what the ladies accomplished this year, you might need to search for a Girl Culture blog; I love women, but I was so boycrazy I fear I will not do justice to the female-driven numbers. I do know that soon after a rowdy lipstick-lezzie lingerie number called "Connecticut Avenue", a talented, black-bustiered female Alysha Umphress crooned Journey's "When the Lights Go Down in the City" so well that I do hope someone went down on her after the show.