ABOVE: Beautiful — kind of like an updated Tom Hintnaus.

BELOW: Keep reading for SNL's newest LGBTQ cast member, Trump's new sexual assault allegation, Barr's treasonous push to brand protesters as treasonous and more ...

ABOVE: Holy crap, Tom Jones turned EIGHTY.

BELOW: Justice Smith comes out, Madonna marches for Black Lives Matter, Beyoncé and Katy Perry liven up grad night, Gaga hits #1 (again) and more ...

Senator Rand Paul has tested positive for COVID-19. He is feeling fine and is in quarantine. He is asymptomatic and was tested out of an abundance of caution due to his extensive travel and events. He was not aware of any direct contact with any infected person.

— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) March 22, 2020

Unfortunately, he is doing well. I write that because this heartless, Ayn Randist, Libertarian bastard voted against COVID-19 relief just last week!

Meanwhile, Paul lunched on Friday with a bunch of GOP senators, including Mitt Romney, who is dithering as to whether he should self-quarantine. Uh, dude, yeah, you're supposed to!

Here's Mitt Romney telling reporters that a group of senators had lunch with Rand Paul on Friday and he's now seeking advice as to whether he should self-quarantine pic.twitter.com/Y0uuww7rYe

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) March 22, 2020

ABOVE: What else can you say, but: 

BELOW: Keep reading for Iowa, Trump's demented words, Thiem's ass and more  ...

ABOVE: Gray rights!

BELOW: Keep reading for the Men of Utah, Bolton's potentially blockbuster testimony, Billie Eilish's Grammys domination and more ...

Teaming with spinelessness (Image via video still)

Mitt Romney ('memba him?) has penned a scathing editorial in The Washington Post. In it, he says Trump “has not risen to the mantle of the office” of the U.S. presidency, and promises not to follow him in lockstep.

In response, Trump has tweeted that Romney oughtta be a team player.

I think it's obvious where this is heading.

Mitt Romney pens scathing editorial. Trump urges him to be a team player. Where is this heading? pic.twitter.com/BZPeRE4Kg9

— Boy Culture Blog (@mattrett) January 2, 2019

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Above: If you like everything bigger (including the caboose), you need to get acquainted with Steve Raider.

Below: Keep reading for desert abs, Lea DeLaria's horny autumn years, a tribute to Shane, Gus Kenworthy's big achievement, a disgusting Friends story, and more ...

Wesley Woods has ripped fellow gay-porn actor Colby Keller in a Facebook post, calling out Keller for his Trump vote and ensuing mealy-mouthed explanation that he wasn't voting for Trump so much as against the system.

Wrote Woods: “The problem with this 'distinction' and ideology is that there isn't one. A vote IS support. A vote isn't anything more or anything less than SHOWING support of that candidate.”

Keep reading for this take-down and more of the day's hottest links, including news of Mitt Romney's Second Coming and RuPaul's latest trimphs ...