ABOVE: Put one foot (I mean, as a maximum estimate) in front of the other.

BELOW: Keep reading for that fake Shake Shack story, Houston gay bars closing due to COVID-19, the only living plaintiff behind the SCOTUS decision and more  ...

ABOVE: Are you bored, he asks.

BELOW: Keep reading for why Kirstie Alley's always sucked, the new COVID-19 relief package, the death of a Top Chef Masters cook and more ...

Miss Spain, Angela Ponce, is the competition's first-ever trans contestant. Though she failed to make the finals, her inclusion in the contest was already a big win for modernity.

Thirteen people were confirmed dead and many more injured following what is being investigated as a probable terror attack in a popular tourist area in Barcelona, Spain.

A white van mowed down scores, leading to chaos ...

(Image via Real Madrid)

Just plane adorable—soccer studs en route to the Canary Islands.

"Trump: Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg should step down ASAP" pic.twitter.com/TwUTaSJ2OW

— DCHomos (@DCHomos) July 12, 2016

Trump steamed that Justice Ginsburg is openly biased against him. Sounds like she's going to step down anyway, and wants to state the obvious.

Trump asserts that in the same way black people can't get a fair shake, the U.S. system is rigged against his rich, white ass, too.

Elizabeth Warren may not be Hillary's veep ... and some retired admiral might be. Ugh. I want Warren or Castro or Booker, man.

The Gay Times Naked Issue is here, and unless you work in a brothel, it's (Work Unfriendly).

Pulse nightclub mass shooting survivors team up with YouTube stars.

Scenes from Barcelona Pride, after the jump ...

Jesús Tomillero (Image via Twitter @Jesustomille)

Spain's first out referee in pro sports is retiring 14 months after coming out, saying he “cannot take any more” of the anti-gay jeers.

Justin Timberlake & Anna Kendrick cover Cyndi Lauper's “True Colors” for Trolls premiere in Cannes:

In case you're insane (like me), you are not alone: Yes, TV actors suck at pretending to have full cups of coffee during scenes.

The moribund New York Post blatantly slants a great story of a fan meeting Madonna into an attack squib. 

(Screen grab via Twitter)

Coke—more specifically Diet Coke, to be sure—is teaming up with Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie. Stay tuned here for when & where to buy.

(Image via Twitter @AbFabMovie)

Matt Irwin, a celeb & fashion photographer, died at 36. Celebs (Gaga, Rita Ora, 1D) have mourned his mysterious death on social media, in which he'd been active.

 

So talented. #RIPMattIrwin ❤️🙏🏼

A photo posted by Rita Ora (@ritaora) on May 6, 2016 at 12:32pm PDT

(Image via Policia Nacional de Interior)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the police in Madrid thought something smelled when they cruised the picnic basket on this dude. Sure enough, turns out he was smuggling drugs from Costa Rica—dude had more than a pound of coke in a container between his legs.

Via the San Francisco Gate:

Spanish police, tongues firmly implanted in cheeks, tweeted a picture of the trafficker alongside the message: “A suspicious package between his legs.”

A smuggling conviction could earn the man, who was detained, up to three years in prison. Authorities did not release his name.

Three years is a long time, but at least he wasn't hung.