ABOVE: I wish I'd never gotten so many gold stars in Aqua Tots.

BELOW: Keep reading for a model whose hotness can't be camouflaged, outrageous anti-Irish meme shared by the GOP, Beto > Bernie, high-profile queer nuptials, the death of one of Popeye's BFFs and more ...

Rep. Dar'shun Kendrick (D-Georgia) has decided to give men what they want — governmental regulation of the human body!

That's why she is spearheading a Testicular Bill of Rights, which would require men to receive permission from their partners before using Viagra, ban vasectomies, make raw-dogging assault and more.

The real reason she's pushing this dead-on-arrival legislation is to call attention to HB 481, a Georgia bill that would outlaw abortion once a heartbeat is detectable — which means it would all but outlaw abortion, since most women don't even realize they're pregnant by that point. She told Rolling Stone HB 481 is absurdly unconstitutional, but on purpose:

ABOVE: Happy should've-turned-88 to James Dean.

BELOW: Jeff Bezos's dick-pic controversy, Cindy McCain's racist lie and more ...

ABOVE: That golden glow.

BELOW: Keep reading for a remembrance of a young gay man lost to cancer, good news out of Africa, a provocative new gay short and more ...

ABOVE: I miss summer. A lot.

BELOW: Keep reading for a televangelist's gay shame, Chaz's happiness, how Trump celebrated MLK Jr. Day and more ...

ABOVE: I recall Hornet low-key mocking me for being the first to point out how hot Sen. Doug Jones's zookeeper son Carson was; I had gotten lots of traffic from posting pics from Carson's account, and their piece chided those of us who framed him as our thirst trap. And now?

BELOW: Globes fallout, Chalamet's harness, Whishaw on gay actors in straight roles, Wilson Cruz's power thighs and more ...

ABOVE: Richie Rose is the Aquaria of beefcake.

BELOW: Mike Hot-Pence's thighs need to be probed, trans murders spiking, gay surprise in Michigan and more ...

ABOVE: Or did you miss Jake McDorman lounging in sweats on Murphy Brown?

BELOW: Tom Daley as Santa, Obamacare imperiled (again), Christmas-tree hunks and more ...