ABOVE: I wish I'd never gotten so many gold stars in Aqua Tots.

BELOW: Keep reading for a model whose hotness can't be camouflaged, outrageous anti-Irish meme shared by the GOP, Beto > Bernie, high-profile queer nuptials, the death of one of Popeye's BFFs and more ...

ABOVE: Oh, dear — what turned us on as kids.

BELOW: Keep reading for Calvin Klein's bad-boy toy, a hilarious movie parody and more ...

Hanging out on the dock gets a new meaning ... (Images by Joan Crisol for Modus Vivendi)

An embare-ass-ment of riches this week, with yet another Modus Vivendi line — this time, it's the Marine Line ...

(All images by Joan Crisol for Modus Vivendi)

Greek underwear brand Modus Vivendi unveils its Golden Line, and you'll wanna see them ...

ABOVE: A little flex appeal.

BELOW: Keep reading for vintage hunks (some without trunks), why William H. Macy wasn't indicted, Trump's denial he even knows that massage-parlor crook and more ...

ABOVE: Not everyone is hairless.

BELOW: Death of a soap daddy, Bieber in trouble, sexy actors get nude and more ...

Mandrake (All images by Matthew Rettenmund)

I spent Friday evening with a group of mostly-naked men who were only too happy to be ogled — you know, a typical date night.

Twinky Boots reveals twink booty.

Not really, but Members Only Boylesque — which is available for future booty calls on April 5, May 31 and June 14 at 10 p.m. at the Laurie Beechman Theatre — is definitely worthy of an entry in your little black book ...

As Nanu in The World's Greatest Athlete (Image via Disney)

Sad to report that Jan-Michael Vincent — one of Hollywood's all-time hottest, and all-time most troubled, leading men — died February 10 at 74. Full obit here.

In Big Wednesday in 1978 (Image via UA)