ABOVE: I still can't believe he's retired! Follows appreciated here.

BELOW: Keep reading for a Big Brother's big ol' butt, Trump's attempt to rebrand as a wartime president, porn actor Billy Santoro calling out Hillary Clinton (!) over COVID-19 while still gymming it up and fucking strangers and more ...

ABOVE: I hope Parson Brown will do the job next time he's in town.

BELOW: Keep reading for Henry Cavill's parched muscles, Trump recalls an ambassador who was too pro-LGBTQ, foreskins stuffed with M&Ms and more ...

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has indicated she will delay sending Trump's impeachment to the Senate, pending any signs that he would get a fair trial rather than a partisan coronation. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-O'h!-Hawaii) is ripping Pelosi for what is a very savvy move, neutering Mitch McConnell, because of course; Gabbard is, as Hillary Clinton boldly proclaimed, a Russian asset — with or without her own knowledge.

Now, in a shocking development, Mark Galli (pictured), the EIC of the venerable Christianity Today has written a forceful editorial calling for Trump's removal from office, a bold stance considering the Orange One's popularity among Evangelicals-in-the-streets, white-supremacists-in-the-sheets ...

(GIF via GIPHY)

In a historic vote, the House of Representatives on Wednesday impeached Donald J. Trump for abuse of power and for obstruction of Congress.

On abuse of power, the vote was 230-197 — only Democrats supported, and only two Democrats did not support (Rep. Collin C. Peterson of Minnesota; Rep. Jeff Van Drew of New Jersey).

On obstruction of Congress, the vote was 229-198 — only Democrats supported, and only three Democrats did not support (Rep. Jared Golden of Maine; Rep. Collin C. Peterson of Minnesota; Rep. Jeff Van Drew of New Jersey).

Only one person voted present — dodging the historical importance of the vote — and that person was none other than Russian asset Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-Hawaii).

Brian Williams: "Tulsi Gabbard, who was mysteriously missing all day, is in the chamber and has voted 'present.'"
Fmr. Sen. Claire McCaskill: "That's just stupid." pic.twitter.com/gAOQp2en2o

— MSNBC (@MSNBC) December 19, 2019

ABOVE: Glad 'e ate 'im.

BELOW: Keep reading for a body beautiful, a Hong Kong blow-out, Russia's favorite Democrat and more ...

ABOVE: Both looks work.

BELOW: Keep reading for Harvey Weinstein-shaming, Tulsi Gabbard quitting 1 of 2 races she can't win, a third degree from "powerful woman" Kellyanne Conway and more ...

(Image via video still)

Tulsi Gabbard is a Syrian asset and a tool — anything but a Democrat — and she's seen in this embarrassing 1998 Hawaiian TV ad with her family, who were arguing vociferously against gay marriage.

She hasn't changed, though her voting record is much brighter — she just switched parties in blue Hawaii ...

ABOVE: A boy 'n' his dog.

BELOW: Keep reading for a muscle-lover's cat calendar, Dem debate takeaways, Trump's forced-Oprah moment and more ...