ABOVE: Yule log.

BONUS BIRTHDAYS:

BELOW: Keep reading for Jake Gyllenhaal's titties, details on the closing of Berlin and more ...

(Image via Instagram)

ABOVE: That little asshole from The Holdovers is actually a big asshole. (Well, I'm sure the real him is nice.)

BELOW: Keep reading for a tennis pro's best side, a Taylor Swift world wonder, Rocco and the porn star and more ...

ABOVE: Madonna's cute son Rocco is striking out as an artist.

BELOW: Keep reading for Steve Grand, Don't Say Gay, a Broadway lawsuit and more ...

She also seems to dress him for sexy time. (Image via Facebook)

ABOVE: Woman puts husband through fake yoga positions just to show off his stuff.

BELOW: Keep reading for Zane Phillips, Ted Cruz's dick obsession and more ...

(Image via video still)

ABOVE: Warning for gray-sweatpants season — Walmart's version = paper-thin.

BELOW: Keep reading for hot men and international maniacs ...

ABOVE: Yes, I honor dogs' birthdays, too.

BELOW: Jason Caceres (POW!), Get Out! (WOW!), DeSantis thumped by SCOTUS (ow!) and more ....

ABOVE: ... God?

BELOW: Keep reading for pits 'n' tits, Mike Johnson's monkeypox problem and more ...

Your heart: “And I — OOP!” (Image via selfie)

ABOVE: It seems Heartstopper star Joe Locke wanted us to remember Kit Connor wasn't the only cutie on the series.

BELOW: Keep reading for Glen Powell's butt, a tennis stud's package, a book that calls Will Smith a demonic buttfucker and more ...